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31/01/2013 at 14:43
That her OH is/was having an affair if you were sure as sure could be that you were right??
I would and have done so in the past.
31/01/2013 at 14:44
31/01/2013 at 14:45
31/01/2013 at 14:46
If it was 100% true - yes without a doubt
31/01/2013 at 14:47
Not sure. It's so difficult. They might work it out and then you look the bad guy for trying to split them up. But then if s/he found out you knew and said nothing....
I don't know, an affair I hope I would tell them but I just don't know. I'd certainly front up to the husband though and maybe decide from there.
See I hear things I don't want to sometimes, but they come from my h being honest and talking to me about it. He would feel betrayed if I used what he had told me in most instances I think?
31/01/2013 at 14:48
Yes if I was sure and she was an actual friend rather than just an acquaintance.
31/01/2013 at 14:52
I don't think i could. I would hope that eventually she would find out for herself, or perhaps speak to the OH and let him know that i was on to them.
31/01/2013 at 14:54
I've been there and done that and it was one of the worst things I've ever done. I was only 18, was really friendly with a girl (who was in her mid 20's) at work. I started going on nights out with her, got to know her OH, then one time one of my best friends came out with us and met my friend and her OH, I found out a few weeks later that she was sh@gging my friends OH.
I talked to my friend who was doing the sh@gging and she wouldn't call it off, I tried talking to the OH but he was just a w@nker and didn't think I would do anything and kept boasting about it. I ended up falling out with my good friend over it. Then one day my work friend confided in me that she thought her OH was having an affair. I was devastated for her and didn't know what to say. A few weeks later I saw her in a nightclub and she was crying etc and I ended up blurting out what I knew.
I got loads of sh!t from the OH, he was a big meat head bully, who assaulted me in a bar and used to phone me up threatening me. It was awful. I still see the work friend now but don't speak to the girl I was really good friends with. They ended up working things out and now have 2 kids together. I said never again would I get into that situation again.
31/01/2013 at 14:56
I don't know. If I knew the H I might tell him I knew what was going on, but like Belle said, if they work it out you look like the bad guy and could lose a friend
31/01/2013 at 15:40
yes I would and I would want someone to tell me to
31/01/2013 at 15:44
Similar situ to SW, I knew quite a good friends H had cheated on her and told her and it didn't go well! She was in complete denial and made up excuse after excuse for what 'might ' have happened so I let it go at that and they're still together with 2 children now. I'm sure sure sure he's done it again since but kept my mouth shut!!
31/01/2013 at 16:20
I currently know of someone being cheated on. Yes she's a friend.
Sad thing is, she's been told twice by others and she refuses to believe it. He's also an absolute w-er, violent and nasty. I don't want to get involved because recently when she stood up to him after advice I gave, he threatened her again. I've told her to leave him because of those issues - I hope she will one day :-(
31/01/2013 at 16:30
I have done and I would. My rational head would want to be told too. I know I would be defensive at first, but long term I would want to know.
My best friend (still is thank god!) her OH was a twat of the higest order, but she loved him, He would go off for days on end and convince her it was work etc. I found out that he had gotten a girl pregnant and I HAD to tell her. He denied it for hours and hours then finally told the truth that she had tricked him etc. He went on to have 3 kids with her. My best friend has never really gotten over it, and not had a proper relationship since - that was over 10 years ago!
31/01/2013 at 16:33
I think it depends on certain friends, I 'know' the friends that would take my say over their bf's but I've had it before where one good friend and her bf had been together for 9 years, he was a lovely boy but a player and she thought the sun shone out of his backside! The times she was told about him but she used to just avoid us if we said anything that wasn't good about it, do we left it. He split up with her recently, best thing he could've done for her IMO.
31/01/2013 at 17:24
i would like to think so
31/01/2013 at 19:42
Like CK I'd like to think so, just as I'd like someone to tell me!
31/01/2013 at 21:16
I'd tell the husband, give him chance to come clean, a very short time, and if not, i'd have to say, assuming it was a very close friend.
31/01/2013 at 21:18
You never know what's going on behind closed doors do you, so I'd have to have a long think about it TBH. It would depend which friend, how we'll I knew the relationship... All sorts of factors.
I've recently seen what can happen in this situation and its not pretty.
A friend of mine was told her husband was cheating not long before Christmas. She was told by her hairdresser. The results are very very messy.
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