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07/12/2012 at 15:39
Have just received a Christmas card from one of Ex's best friends that says to Ex and QI and family love best friend and wife.
Was thinking of sending them a Christmas Card and inside including a note with Ex's new address? With or without explanation?
(Had really assumed he would ahve told people he left his family 6 months ago now - am possibly expecting quite a few of these now - not sure whether to start a pre-emptive strike ie send out the Christmas cards with a note with his new address in it?)
07/12/2012 at 15:47
have you already sent your cards? i'd probably just send them a card back from yourself and the kids - that should ring alarm bells with them, and if they are his friends, they will probably go to him and ask him what's going on. means you are still being polite and not ignoring their card, but also means that you don't have to go into long and painful explanations.
07/12/2012 at 15:50
I'm sending cards this weekend and was going to do another WWYD - do I send them to everyone I woudl normally send them to or tweak out a few people. But if I send it from jsut the kids and I and no explanation they might get in touch wonderign what has happened?
07/12/2012 at 15:53
I wouldn't bother adding in his address. It's up to him to do that. If you were planning to send them a card then do it from the three of you, if you weren't going to send one anyway then don't send one at all.
07/12/2012 at 15:56
That's the other problem Pip I couldn't decide. I think I will jsut send all the usual cards I would do but jsut from the three of us.
07/12/2012 at 16:01
Difficult one, think I'd just send to your friends from the 3 of you, and maybe those of them like this friend who have sent you cards - I'm sure they'll realise and get in touch with him when they see his name missing and if he hasn't told them what's happened or his new address then just looks bad on him.
Luckily when I split with my ex we didn't have children so I didn't have to have any contact with any of his friends and family or deal with this sort of thing, apart from the friends I met through him who are now some of my best friends!
07/12/2012 at 16:34
I would only send cards to the people you like so your friends and those of his friends who you intend to keep in contact with. Sign it just the 3 of you and don't bother to include his address. If they were anyone important to him he would have told him, plus when he receiveds very few christmas cards this year it will make him realise one of the consequences of what he has done. When H's friend left his wife we stopped sending cards to him. I still send cards to his ex wife and daughter because I'm still friendly with her. I think cards are more of a womens thing anyway. H never used to send out cards before we got toegether
07/12/2012 at 16:45
I agree and would send cards from the 3 of you and not put in his forwarding address
07/12/2012 at 17:39
I wouldn't bother with cards at all to any of his friends, unless you are close and want to keep a friendship going. Then I would just put your own name and not his and let him explain it.
07/12/2012 at 17:50
WEES I would put your name and the kids and only send cards to people you actually want to keep in touch with (most of whom will know). I used to send cards to everyone I felt I 'should' send them to and then realised that I only heard from them at Christmas and whilst there were some it was nice to hear from and we'd have a yearly update in the card, tehre were others who I didn't really mind one way or the other if I'd heard from them and they've fallen off the list over the years. If there are some who will call and ask you about whay he's not in the card, it gives you advance warning to get your response sorted as you're sending the card and so know when to potentially expect the call (does that make sense?) Don't worry about saying too much to them though as someone else said - if they were that close they would have heard before now so don't need all the details.
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