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05/02/2013 at 15:33
A few rambling questions for you all. if you dont mind!
Im waiting on security clearance for a new job. It involves a commute of either 1hr car journey each way or 10min car journey, 45 min train. Its for a govn job, the kind Ive always wanted. I wont be better off £ wise due to travelling. But I hate my job and refuse to be stuck here for all my days (Im overqualified, unmotivated & totally scunnered!) - the job security, public sector benefits and career progression are really important factors to me and my new job offers these things.
It probably sounds stupid leaving a perm mediocre job 15 mins from my house to the above. But Im thinking long term. In NI there are not many opportunites and the majority of 'good' jobs are in Belfast. So either I travel or Im stuck.
POA is hopefully fall pregnant end of year & then I'll get off on the full maternity package. My current employer would not give me part time (no family friendly policies whatsoever) & I would only be entitled to SMP. We are saving at the moment but realistically SMP would be a massive pressure on us both.
I would go back to work 3/4 days a week. Then there is flexible working ie flexi time. more holidays, carer days and the options of home working & term time working (Obviously I dont know how realistic these things are in practice but they are there in principle).
Im already worrying about how I will cope working & travelling with a family. I massively overthink & constantly worry! I know I could be sitting here next year & no where near close to being pregnant (seem to have some kind of homonal issue, Doc just isnt sure what!).
How do you all manage to combine work & family life? Do you still have a life?!
Im in the fortunate position of having an OH who works 4 days a week (unless there is some overtime going) and have parents who would happily retire / work part time to help (on both sides). If I went back 3/4 days a week we would have childcare sorted no problem.
I know if having a family & travelling got really really bad I could always leave & temp closer to home, worse case scenario.
Any words of wisdom, advice, kicks up the backside gratefully received!
05/02/2013 at 15:37
In your situation I would totally go for the new job. I'm on a career break at the moment but before that I worked 3 days a week and travelled 45 mins to work and it was fine, I actually used to enjoy the journey as 'me' time, crazy as that sounds but it gave me time to think especially the journey home used to give me time to unwind before I got home. The travelling costs are obviously a negative point but I think long-term the new job is definitely the best option for you plus you would hopefully be happier in the new role.
05/02/2013 at 15:39
it sounds like an amazing opportunity. i am a sahm so in no position to offer advice about work/life balance but I have been unhappy in a job and there is a lot to be said for trying to enjoy your job- you spend so much time there.
05/02/2013 at 16:24
I have no words of wisdom - but just wanted to say you are not alone in worrying about how to balance work and life etc.
At the moment i'm on ML and already feel for my H, as though he isn't spending much time with LO - he leaves for work at 7:45 and often is back for 30-60mins (to shower/eat after phys) mid-mornig, pus an hour for lunch and home by 5:30.. The evenings go so fast.. I think how litte i'll see of LO if I go back, and it's an important consideration for me. But.. I don't have tthe answer, i'm just playing it by ear and seeing how we go, as like you, I know I can quit.. It's just whether I want to!
05/02/2013 at 16:35
It is a juggling act! I work three days a week in London (hour commute) and another from home. My OH works locally 5 days a week. I leave the house at 7am and get home at 6:30pm the days i commute so H does all drop off and picks up. I look after the kids on thursdays and my mum has them all on fridays. I try and make one evening a week to do pilates but that hasnt been going too well as we've all had such a rubbish couple of months illness wise. I come straight home and dive in with bathtime and bedtime and they are all usually asleep by 7:30pm. We then have dinner, tidy up, do the bottles, bags, washing etc for the next day and, if we are lucky, have half an hour to sit before going to bed at 10pm! Rock and roll it is not. I use my journey time as catch up time for work, to do the ocado order, to check in with friends or read in peace. I love it! Weekends we all kick back a bit but it is pretty full on. However, i love my job and feel lucky I am doing something i enjoy which pays the bills and gets me out of the house. You make it work because you have to!!!
05/02/2013 at 16:38
Thanks very much for the replies ladies.
I really think I need to go for the job & play it by ear. Its scary as Ive worked here for 7.5 years straight from uni - its all I know.
If nothing else I should enjoy it more & not be as stressed out - the travelling would probably be the most stressful part of my day! And perhaps I would end up enjoying the train - I plan on getting an ipad mini so I can read, catch up on tv etc.
I plan to mostly work 8am-4pm, getting 7am train & then being home for 5.30pm but its flexi between 8am & 6pm.
I just constantly feel 'blah' and really think my job is 85% - the rest being having no money & being fatter than I like! Thats no way to live is it?!
05/02/2013 at 16:40
Go for it. I work part time now three days a week with a commute of about 1 hour 15 door to door. My daughter is now at school. After having a year off with her I was pleased to go back to work and be someone in my own right rather than a mum. The commute involves my H and I both juggling a bit but as long as you are both on the same side - both supportive and willing to work together go make sure all the family/household stuff gets done, it can work. I enjoy the commute, its a bit of time all to myself!
05/02/2013 at 19:46
I think you should go for it, it sounds like a great opportunity and especially as you have family that would help with child care. Good luck
05/02/2013 at 20:01
I'd go for it. I work unsocial hours - 13hr days, 12hr nights and weekends and I have a 50min commute each way. I did contemplate prior to ttc getting a job closer to home but to be honest I love my job I have to go back after my year mat leave. I plan to do 1 13hr day shift (leave house at 6.15am get home at 9.15pm ish) and one night shift (leave home at 7pm and get home at 8.45am ish and sleep till 12pm). H is lucky to work less than two miles away. I can't comment on whether this will work as baby D is nowhere near here yet but many of my work colleagues do similar and it works. It's so much easier to start a new job pre children and then negotiate working hours than the opposite. Go for it!
05/02/2013 at 20:25
I leave the house at 7.50 & not home until 6.30ish m-w. home at 5 on a Thurs & off on a Fri. It's def doable. Go for it chick
05/02/2013 at 21:19
I have a 35 minute train commute plus 5 minute walk either side, H had the same. I've been back to work 3 days a week for 9 months now and it's been fine logistically. We have to use a nursery for childcare, they're open 7-6. Normally I leave at 7 to get into work before 8, H drops A off at nursery at 8, I leave at 4.45 to pick him up from nursery at 5.45, H gets home around 7.30. If I'm going out after work we swap 'shifts'.
If you have family childcare the drop off/pick up times aren't likely to be so rigid so you'll have even less issues.
I see no reason why you shouldn't go for the job, good luck!
05/02/2013 at 21:34
I really appreciate the replies ladies, thanks again!
I'm sure when the time comes it'll work itself out. I think cause I've known I've got the job since Nov I've had too much time to think about it all!!
One thing that does stick in my mind is that OH works 7am to 5pm & leaves @ 630am
Mon - Fri so would give some of our parents a very early start. And weve only one car which i would need to get to train station or work - and 2 cars is not an option, financially. But maybe they'd keep the LO a night through the wk which would help that a morning!
A crystal ball would be a lovely thing.
06/02/2013 at 09:22
go for the job S and things will just work out. I'm currently looking at returning to work "full time" ie adding another 2hrs a day onto my already 5day a week. I currently leave the house at 7.15am and get home at 5pm, but am looking for a 5.30pm finish so that means a 7-7 day. Needs must and all that. It sucks but you deal with it.
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