Hi ladies and babies, hope ur all well

i'm due baby no2 in december and ds will be 20-21months old. after having initially completely ruled out having an elective c section this time (had em c sec with ds), after my consultant appointment the other day i'm beginning to consider it as a possible option (alhtough would still prefer vbac), but also realise that even if i get to try for a vbac there is nothing to say that that won't end in c section anyway....so my question is, those of u who already had a toddler and then ahd c section with baby no2+, how did u manage? i knwo this sounds daft but i'm super worried about how i'd be able to pick ds up (he's 22lb now, so guessing he'll be about 26-27lb then, and i remember with ds they said not lift anything heavier than the baby), or even get out of the house as i live in a basement flat so would have to lift ds into the puschair and hike the puschair up the stairs on my own so would effectively be stuck indoors for the first 6weeks ish except on weekends when OH is at home...did u find it a massive hindrance or did having a toddler to look after/lift etc not effect ur recovery/scar at all? its just i've got a feeling i'm not gonna get the vbac i'm after, so think i should perhaps cut my losses and just go for the c section, but at the moment its a no no as i have ds to think about too.
any thoughts would be welcome

ps, for any of u who had a vbac...did u have to be continually monitored or just monitored very regulalry? i'm worried about this as with ds i was induced and was continually moniored and couldn't move position or anything as as soon as i did the monitor lost the trace so i ahd to stay falt on my back for the entire thing which is something i'm desparate to avoid this time....

thanks very much

Si????n, 22+0, and Austin, 16months

xx

Hi,

I had a planned section with my second last week and I have to say that without mu hubby at home I would not have coped at all! Dont get me wrong things are already getting easier but looking after my oldest (2 1/2) is really difficult! Sorry if this isnt the news you wanted but there is no point in me sugar coating it! Really hope you get your vbac!

Hi Sian
read your post in pregnancy, so sorry this is happening to you.
Like you I am going through all the same mixed emotions at mo, came back form consultant appointment feeling very deflated, as he too said i would have to be monitored constantly and as for going in birth pool that was pretty much a no no.

I was also laid on my back for 24 hours with an epidural that didn't work properly so am really worried about all this happening again, I want to be mobile, surely there is a way they can monitor us regularly to check for rupture without being immobile.

I also didn't think i would be induced but he said i can be induced, arrgghhhh, was thinking the same should i just go for section as it'll more than likely end up that way, i had in my mind i would stay at home as long as poss so that i could have active labour but advice is to go in as soon as possible so they can monitor you.

My DD will be 2 and half and we live quite remote up a hill, so wouldn't be able to walk to shop etc, so really don't want section so will be watching your replies with interest and keeping an eye out for your posts to see how you are getting on.

What happened to choices!!!!

Em
11+5

thanks for ur replies, it is as i feared then. i'm really stuck with what to do, trying to ush it to the back of my mind until after my vbac appointment (8th sept) but day by day i'm leaning more towards a c section (especially as working it out, Oh will ahve 2 weeks paternity, then it'll be xmas hols so will ahve about 2weeks off then, so technically, would only be the last 2weeks, which doesn't sound so bad lol! especially as it'll be very cold, and live right on the seafront so can't see us going out too much, and could always just take ds across to the park opposite with him on reigns walking and baby in sling...)...i wish there was someway of guaranteeing a succesful vbac, how nice would that be?! i don't really want a section, but i don't want to be immobile and go through what i did last time even more, especially if it were to end in c section again anyway...wish i had a crystal ball! idk, maybe i might say if i go naturally by term then i'll try for vbac, but if at (for eg) 40+0 still no news then to have a c section booked for that date. argh!

thanks again xx

22+5

hi lw, thanks for ur reply. it did cross my mind about just saying 'no' but then not sure if that wiuld make the whole situation more stressful (depends on the mood of the mws i suppose) they were all very strong willed last time, which is why i just let them dictate what was happening (that and being a first time mum u tend to go with what ur told)...had also thought about home vbac, but i know that then on the ight it still depends on if someone is free, and OH is really uncomfortable iwth the idea, because, like me, the only experience he has is what happened last time, so he would prefer to be in hospital for 'just incase' (although we live literally less than 5minute drive from the hospital)...it is interesting what u say about rupture rates though, definately something to consider. its so annoying, before my consultant appoinment last week i was dead set for a vbac and having a csec hadn't even crossed my mind, but now i'm more leaning the other way, the only thing thats putting me off is the recovery and lifting/caring for ds, if that wasn't an issue i think in all honesty thats the only thing stopping me from just deciding c section now is i have to able to look after him too, which is whats then pulling me towards vbac, but then i think, i could try vbac and still end up iwth a csec. but then i don't want to regret not even trying, but then waht if trying leads to all the same problems and feelings as last time, especially if it wasnt' succesful, think i would feel more of a 'failure' then had i not tried at all. roll on the 8th september lol. although i know i'll probably end up exactly 50/50 after that meeting lol! don't think it helped though that my 'consultant' appointment was actually with a junior doctor who couldn't really answer any of my questions and had to keep leaving the room to check wth the registrar...think i'm gonna drive myself crazy thinking about it unitl then though lol! back and forth in my head all day lol!

thanks again, and yes fingers crossed. i think perfect world would be go into labour at 38/39weeks, nice, fairly quick happy vbac lol. up til that appointment i was saying i want them to leave me as long overdue as possible (so around 40+10, and then try gels), but now i think if i get to 40+0 and no signs then just to go for c sec, but no doubt i'll change my mind a thousand times before then. if i didn't ahve stairs to battle up with the buggy, it would be much more clear cut ... maybe i could just move? lol xx

u've hit the nail on the head there, the unknown. i know what happens with a c section, and prior to it i'd even know the date! vbac/vaginal birth is a whole new ball game to me (well contractions aren't but the actual birth is still a mystery lol)...its just weird, when i had ds i was very positive (naive), even when they said induction can lead to c section i was thiking 'probably never happens, or won't to me anyway' now i'm the opposite and can only imagine it ending that way.

thanks again xx

it was my toddler that made up my mind to have a VBAC, it made me cringe at the thought of his face when i would be picking the baby up and not him, also hes a bit lively so climbing up to me would've been out of the question too. i was told though that an elective section is far less painful and the recovery is quicker than with an emergency, my friend had 1 em section with her first then had 3 elective since, and shes been up and bouncing about a couple of days after each, i couldn't even get out of bed alone at 3 weeks after my emcs.

i had a section booked in the end, but i held on to the hope that lo would arrive before that. and she did. i was warned about being monitored etc and was told i'd be strapped to the bed, that was a load of poo, i was already in hospital when i went into labour, but no-one once pressed my scar or even looked at it for that matter, and the fear of it splitting open again didn't even cross my mind with the labour pains taking up all my energy.

second births are generally quicker and easier, and even more so with your other lo being so young.

but dont let anyone pressuirze you into opting for one or the other, its your choice xx