I am starting to get towards the 12 weeks point and starting to think about the birth. We have just realised that my husband will be out of the country when the baby is due and there is NOTHING he can do about it. So we were thinking about our options. Is there anyway we could either have labour induced or have a C section at about 38 weeks? I know the doctors don't like doing it and I don't know if they'd do it for a non medical reason, but I just really don't want to do it without my husband.

Thanks xxxxxx

Hi I have just gone through an horrific time with a planned induction at 38 weeks due to gestational diabetes, i spent 3 horrible days and nights in hospital the first time with two failed attempts with prostin pessary's, the baby's head wasn't down and my cervix wasn't changing at all, they eventually let me go home for a rest then i went back in a week later and they tried the prostin again and again it didn't worked, i think i only dilated about a cm, they wanted to take me into theatre to break my waters (head still not engaged so danger of a limb or the cord coming out before the head which is why they wanted to do it in theatre) but i just put my foot down and said i wanted a section, had a section 2 hours later and finally got my baby girl! All i will say is that if the baby is not ready to come at 38 weeks then i can be pretty horrendous! i went through two terrible weeks emotionally and physically and ended up with a section, i would have done anything to just get it over with! if you have any questions about either procedure let me know i'll be happy to answer them xx

hi to be honest i can't see u getting a c secyion or an induction without their being medical grounds, unless u go private. also an induction does not mean u will have baby that day, mine took an awful 4 days and still resulted in a section, also if u have a section will u really want to be recovering from that (it is a major operation, equivalent to a hysteractemy in terms of healing and intrusiveness) with a tiny baby whilst ur OH is out of teh countryn, i know i found it hard enough with my oh at home as it really drains u and effects ur mobility. u can't do the hoovering or any lifting or excersice for 6 weeks and u acn't drive for 8 weeks, it is not a quick option in the slightest. it's not that doctors don't 'like' doing it but it is that it is a serious operation that is designed to help save lives, it is not there for convenience because baby's due date doesn't suit. sorry to have a go but i don't really think u or ur husband have thought thru what ur asking, potentially putting urs and ur babys health at risk because the timing is inconvenient.

again i'm sorry but thats my answer to ur post and thats the only answer i can see a doctor giving u too.

hope u manage to figure something out in terms of ur OH being with u when ur baby is born as i'm sure the last thing either of u want is for u not to go thru it together, but other than u going abroad with him and having the baby abroard (again u'll have to make sure ur travel insurance will cover child birth and how would get there as no flyuing past 36 weeks) or going private then u don't really have much choice. has ur hubby asked his work or whoever/whatever itis that is keeping him from being around at the time of the due date? as i'm pretty sure compassionate leave would entitle him to be there, and the old paternity leave can also be started before baby is born much like maternity leave. if his work or whoever say no i would consider speaking to CAB as i'm sure he is entitled to be at the birth of ur child. xxx

xx

This isn't something I am considering lightly or half heartedly, but I just can't go through it without my hubby. I had a still born baby last year and the thought of giving birth absolutely terrifies me as the picture of them handing me my perfect lifeless little girl is there every time I shut my eyes and the thought of that happening when my husband is away makes the thought of going through labour awful.

There is nothing he can do about being away, he works away with the armed forces and doesn't have a choice about being away, unfortunately wars don't arrange themselves around when I am having a baby.

I appreciate all the advice girls and I know it's major surgery, but I'm sure anyone can appreciate why I want this. I have spoken to my midwife and she said it would all depend on how the pregnancy goes and the weight of the baby at the time. So I'm happy about that. xxxx

every consultant is different and all have different views about how pregnancy / induction / c/s can be managed.

i know of a number of women who have had an elective c/s following a still birth, and i know of girls who have been induced from 36 weeks onwards following still birth. some dr's - believe it or not!- can be quite sympathetic to any concerns you may have, and it is beneficial to all concerned -you, them - to have your partner present!

you may find - if they agree- they go more for induction than elective c/s, but there is a chance of a failed induction needing an emergency c/s anyway. you will then have to work out how you will manage on your own having had a c/s when your partner is going to be away.

i think you need to look at what is involved with both induction & c/s before you make any decision either way

the only other thing i would suggest is speaking with your consultant, explaining your fears, and seeing what he says. you may find that he will go with your wishes whatever you decide, but he will also point out any potential problems that may arise!

good luck with it all!

[Modified by: ollier2001 on October 03, 2009 03:04 PM]

i am so sorry to read the awful loss of your daughter, the pain you have been through is unimaginable. Under your circumstances i am sure you would have a good enough reason for the consultant to agree to a c section so your husband can be with you. I wish you all the best and hope it turns out to be what you want and truly deserve x

Just a quick reply. So sorry to hear of your terrible loss. For this reason im sure a good consultant would be willing to discuss options with you re c sec or induction to ensure mental and physical well being of you all. Keep talking to the midwife, ensure referal to consultant in plenty of time and hopefully you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy as much as possble rather than dreading the birth, which i can understand.
Good luck x