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Labour & birth
06/09/2016 at 16:57
This week, Robbie Williams's wife Ayda Field revealed that Robbie told her that watching her give birth was 'like watching his favourite pub burn down'. Ouch!
And that's made us wonder how many of us actually give much thought, before the birth, to what it might be like for the dad to watch a baby come out of his partner's vagina. And, more to the point, whether you actually want your other half to be seeing that – or not?
If you're planning on having your partner with you at the birth, have you thought about where he's going to be when your baby's actually born? Will he be down the 'business end' watching your baby emerge into the world? Or would you rather he wasn't inspecting your nether regions as they push a baby out?
We'd love to know what you think. Please do let us know by adding a reply to this thread.
06/09/2016 at 17:42
For us the plan was very much that my husband would not watch our daughter literally enter the world... Instead he would be in front of me (I wanted a water birth)
luckily mt birth plan actually went to plan (shock) but it was a lot quicker than expected! my husba was asked if he would like to see her head, he said yes and that was that... He had a peek and then came straight back to the front (I was kneeling) one more push and I helped to pull my baby girl out and straight onto my chest... To be honest I've never asked what it looked like but I think he's pleased he looked! Dads can sometimes not quite get the enormity of pushing a baby out so I think him seeing it made him realise just how incredible the female body is and how much respect and rest I needed after!
would I let him look again if we had another?! I'm not so sure but ultimately it's his decision in my eyes... If he felt differently in a negative way after watching me give birth to our baby... Well I think I would be seriously concerned for our relationship!!
06/09/2016 at 17:44
Both times my husband was watching. He caught our daughter when she was coming out and watched our son fall on the floor! He said it was amazing and our daughter had her eyes open on exit.
06/09/2016 at 18:38
I'm due October 7th with our first and me and my husband have had lots of conversations as to whether he'll be at my head or the other end! His friends that have had kids have all warned him saying don't look down below, so I do think he'll only want to be at my head end tbh, but he may suprise me and have a little sneaky look! I don't care as long as I get a healthy little boy!!
06/09/2016 at 19:12
For the birth of my little boy. My husband stayed at the head end, he had no interest at looking at the buisness end which in the end was good because I didn't have a straight forward labour and ended up in theater having an episiotomy and forceps delivery! Think that would have traumatised him for life and I would like a second baby lol!
06/09/2016 at 20:27
Absolutely not. An old midwife said not too...it would take our relationship a long time to recover. I preferred him holding my hand anyway.
06/09/2016 at 20:46
No i couldent deal with it my husband stayed with me as long as he could hes not really a strong stumach person my mum was my rock he was usless but wasent acualy there for the birth but straight away after same as he will be this time i really could not have him on a bed at the side of me lol x
07/09/2016 at 07:00
With our first he was pressing buttons holding my hand then when he was there he couldn't stop watching cut the cord and everything, second bub came to fast and in triage so wasn't much room but he peeped over the top of the Midwives heads cut he cord when they finally had the equipment they needed. He's seen it 3 times now and says it's the worst thing he's seen but will be doing it for our 3rd his 4th which I'm surprised with as hes not good with that stuff. Everyone keeps telling me plan for a homebirth as I was only in 20 mins before he turned up and first was only an hour but I'm not putting my partner through any extra stress or myself lol great experience for him and hasn't put him off seeing it all
07/09/2016 at 08:13
I thnk this is one of those things that just happens in the moment!!!
With my first I had an emergency C section, and was put to sleep so the hubby wasn't there at all!
With my second I had a natural birth - hubby was holding my hand through most of it, but when the time came to me pushing he couldn't really not see to be honest! And he wanted to see him coming out! I wasn't keen when we had spoken about it, but when the time came, I really wasn't bothered! He actually got really tearful when he saw the head come out, which was quite nice!
I know with his first child (not with me!) he was actually needed to hold his partners foot for her to push against, so sometimes when they are needed the choice is taken out of their hands!
I think its a beautiful thing and if a father wants to be down that end then fine. But if they don't want to be that's fine too :-)
07/09/2016 at 10:31
Yes my other half watched out son's head come out last week and he doesn't seem too traumatised! I'm medical and I know he's not too squeamish so I didn't mind what he wanted to do. Luckily there was no tearing, minimal blood loss and the pushing bit only took 10mins - can't ask for smoother than that with a first baby. Think he found watching me go through three nights of latent / early labour more traumatic than the end bit. I know I did!!
07/09/2016 at 12:05
I'm booked in for an elective c-section due to previous abdo ops with my Crohn's Disease.
The other half and I have discussed where he'd like to be (ideally), but obviously as it's a surgical set up he'll be head end whilst things happen. However the midwives have said that when all complete, he can by all means 'glance back' when over with the baby. Doubt he will though! As it's not the magical situation of a natural birth - it will be very surgical and I don't think he'd want to see me cut open like that?!
11/09/2016 at 20:41
My partner held the gas and air for me throughout He was up by my head and the midwife kept saying she's got a mop of hair come and have a look so he had a peep but then straight back up to holding on to me and holding the gas and air for me lol
14/10/2016 at 10:42
Hubby was there for both our girls - Eldest he was telling me when she was crowning & yelling encouragement, Youngest he just about managed to confirm was a girl before he passed out (she literally flew out of me onto the bed).
For some reason, this time around with twins, he has decided that my mum & sister can have the honour while he remains with the girls 😂😂😂
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