Hi Ladies,

Well I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant and whilst my first reaction was that I was absolutely thrilled my second was that I am petrified of the Labour and I am hoping some of you Ladies may be able to help

I am very very worried about having a serious tear during the birth as I often get small cuts during intercourse with DH ...... and so I am thinking that I obviously do not stretch very much????

We have looked into the possibility of going private and have an appointment with an obstetrician in 7 weeks to discuss a private c-section because of this. I realise that a c-section is major abdominal surgery but I have reasoned in my head that at least I know to expect the pain and surely that is better than a 3rd/4th degree tear?

I have spoken to quite a few friends who are already mothers and they have said given the option they would have a c-section which is stearing me even more towards that option.

What are your thoughts? Have any of you opted for a c-section because of this?

I had a c-section back in December and I have to say that it was much better than I expected it would be. I wanted to avoid it at all costs but now, I would seriously think about having another rather than a natural birth, which is something I haven't had. Yes it's major surgery, recovery can be slow, it's painful (although they give you good drugs) and I felt I missed out on caring for my baby the first 18 hours.

Maybe you should post in the baby forum as well to find out what people thought of labour and specifically tearing, as I am sure plenty of women there will have experienced it.

Sorry I can't be more help xx

I had an emergency c section and although my section went fine I am trying for a vbac this time. My BF was severely impeded by the drugs - and I hated being bed bound for the following 24 hours.

I think over all the body does recover quickly from a vaginal birth even if you do tear. - My SIL suffered extremely bad tears and still was more mobile than me instantly and healed much faster than my scar.

Also and again I know this doesn't apply to every women - but during my c section my uterus tore and I lost alot of blood - so the bad tears can happen regardless x

Hi,
I had an em-sec with my lo last Feb and next time round I am definatley having a section because I don't want to go through the lengthy labour process and it result it another section at the end.

my LO was born at 23:58 on the 14th Feb and by 10.0am on the 15th I was able to walk to the shower... I was very slow at moving but I was still able to by that afternoon I was alot more mobile but for the following 4 weeks(ish) I had to be a bit more careful with lifting etc but otherwise didn't really have too much pain HOWEVER I would never have opted for a section first time round just on 'what-if's' as a section is major surgery and although you think you might tear you actually have no idea if you will or not so I don't think you should opt for major surgery on a 'what-if' basis.

good luck!

My honest opinion and I don't want to sound nasty as I am in no way a nasty person but I do not agree with having a c-section to avoid a possible natural birth tear that may not happen. C-section is not only major surgery but a completly different experaince for bonding with yr baby.
Your friends may have been lucky but lots of women get infections etc.
There are lots of other options such as water births and having hypno birthing which work wonders to relax and prevent tears etc.
Hope I didn't sound mean and hope you have a happy birth xx

i hve to say i agree with nina698, it is major surgery and the healing process is long and not easy for most...it is a medical procedure designed to save lives, not to prevent tears...also i think u will be very hardpushed to find an nhs surgeon/consultant who is willing to do a c section for such a reason, it costs the nhs thousands of pounds and like i say is an operation designed purely to save lives, they will only sanction it if there is a true medical need for it, and i'm afraid tearing will not be classed as a medical need by the nhs, if ur certain u want to go for a c section u'll have to go privaetly, but be warned, myy em c section (i only got to two cm so no trauma vaginally) still left me with some discomfort, well the section didn't but pregnancy does, even without a vaginal tear and no trauma what so ever to my vagina we cldn't have sex that wasn't painful for me untim ds was 9months, so i'm afraid its may well not be the answer ur looking for even if udo get the go ahead by some miracle. x

oh also, u might find perineal massage of help to u if u feel u don't ahve much 'give' down there xx

Hi Ladies,


Thank you for all your responses ...... you have all definitely given me some good advice to think about.

I am going to meet my Midwife and Obstetrician in a couple of weeks and have another chat about it all (I had my first meeting with them last week). They have both been really understanding and both have said that whichever option I choose they will be happy to support. On the one hand they have armed me with the pros and cons for both and the midwife and the obstetrician isn't pushing me for a vaginal or a cesarean which is really good. However neither have pushed one way or the other and so I am feeling no closer to the decision and the pros and cons they have both given, at the moment, appear to balance out.

I think this will be a long, hard decision


Thank you again for your responses

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