Crazy mum moaning all the time

I have a son 7 months today. He is my life, I love him more than I thought I am able to love!
Here is my story just because I feel I have to talk to somebody but since I moved to different part of the country recently and have no family here in England I don't have anybody to talk to so freely.
When my son was 3 months old he slept 8-9 hours during the night. I was very happy specially cause before 3 months he was up every 3 hours for feed.
Then he turned 4 months and started to wake again after 6 hours sleep. The health visitor in the breastfeeding club explained that he is more hungry now and cause breast milk is much easy to digest than formula he needs more feed. Fine I thought and gave him extra feed.
However my partner wasn't happy, he works 16-17 hours/day 6 days a week and he wants to sleep during the night. We had lots of argument in the first 3 months and these arguments were on the table again.
My son wake around 3am and then 7am. 7am is way to early for my partner who goes to bed at 2am... He said it's much easier for me cause I don't have to get up and go to work and I can lie down during the day.
By 5 months my son who was still breast feed only started to wake 2 times during the night, 11 pm and 2am then started his day at 6am.
Me and my partner argued a lot. I kept forgetting things such us bay food or cook by the time he got home (sometime he came home around 4pm to eat something). Also I wasn't able to plan our days when he had a day off and I felt he has so many needs and wants my attention all the time. I didn't go on facebook any more(before I kept in touch with friends via facebook) and started to go out less and less.
Because I was tired I did stupid things like crossed the road with the pushchair without looking and only realized later. I started to worry that I might harm my darling son simple being careless. When my little one wake on the morning and my partner put him in our bed between us even if he went back to sleep I stayed awake worrying that he will die in SID if I fall asleep and he somehow will be covered with our duvet or one of us accidentally turn and squash him( I know these are stupid thoughts). These thought become unbearable and I started to think that I will really harm him! By this time he started to wake half an hour after he went to bed then every 2-2and half hours during the night.
One week before he turned 6 months I called our health visitor.
As for the waking she said He is a very hungry little man and I must start weaning him. As for my thoughts she reassured me that I will be fine but I needed to see my GP, possible postnatal depression.
The GP was worried that my problem is more serious and I can be danger for my son. I couldn't stop crying! Later that day specialist told me that my thoughts are just thoughts cause I am extremely worried about my son. They told my how to come over my problem and ask my partner to support me.
The good outcome of this event that our rows with my partner stopped for about a week week and a half. although I didn't get much of his support but no arguments helped me to relax and worried less.
Weaning my son started well too. He loved his pure soon had 3 solids a day. Only his sleeping patent didn't improved!
Now he is 7 months old, wakes 4-5 times a night for feed, me and my partner back to square, arguing all the time. He wants to sleep and he doesn't want my son in our bed all night. Yeah, I became so relaxed I started to co-sleep with my son. He sleeps much better when we cuddled up together....
I feel I failed as a girlfriend and I only hope that my unconditional love towards my son will help me to be a good mum.(

Hi Beata sorry to here you are having a hard time of late. Not good. I'm sure you are no danger to your son at all,just the regular paranoid mum!!

I'm afraid I have to say this,you have NOT failed as a girlfriend,if anything your fella has failed you hun,saying he wants sleep,yeah  news flash so do you! And to say you can lie down in day-much harder if you did that,you'd probably fall into deep sleep! I know I have to go for long walks when I'm sleepy,or god knows what boys will get up to!!!!

Sorry to be blunt hun,but did your partner really expect 12 hours kip and everything done for him??? Time machine maybe in order to 1952,or a whole lot more suppot for you and then maybe you won't feel so tired. As for the waking up,I'm guessing hv correct with hunger,maybe offer a lil more dinner or milky puddings?

I've never co-slept so can't help you there hun sorry. Everyone is irritable through lack of sleep,maybe if your fella allowed co-sleeping you would all be more relaxed?

I just wanted to tell you though,you are a good mum,and not by any means a failure x x (sorry if it sounds like I'm being horrid about your chap too,obviously I don't know him but sounds like you need more support) x Rach

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Hi Beata.

I think you have two babies there.Time for your man to be a man and grow up.You're both parents now,this is a new life not just a hobby that comes out to play when it suits.Babies will disprupt your sleep,they'll disrupt his sleep too.That's just something he'll have to get used to,just like you have to.He also needs t oget used to sharing you and helping out.You might not have his food ready when he wants it,you might not have got to the shops.What's to stop him helping out,you're his partner not his mother.One baby's  enough.

I've never done co sleeping,simply because it's a habit I never wanted to start,cos I'd later have to stop,and because I think a Mummy deserves a break.The sooner your little one learns to settle in his cot the easier all round.Also he needs to get used to settling himself rather than settling with a feed,cos he'll be looking for a feed to settle him again if he wakes.

Maybe your baby is hungry.I have found that the more food you can get into them in a day,the better they sleep at night.By 7 months my baby had milk first thing,cereal and milk for breakfast,milk mid morning,veggies lunch time,milk mid afternoon,fruit and cereal tea time and milk again bedtime.All babies are  different,that's just what we did.

If you can cure the sleeping through at night,you'll all get enough sleep and everything will be clearer for you.I'm sure you're not going to harm your baby,it sounds like it's all getting on top of you.You've not failed as a girlfriend,I don't think your man's doing a good job of being a boyfriend,hopefully he'll be more reasonable when he's getting more sleep.You do need his support,not him making it all worse.

Well Said Rachel & Jo.

You havent failed as a girlfriend and you just want the best for your mum.

Re Co Sleeping - you do have to be careful but some lady at the nct told me that lots of parents do it and dont admit to it but take care not to overheat or smother your baby.  

Harry was a really awful sleeper but we did sleep traning with him at around 7m and never looked back. I am not just talking about controlled crying - its a more gentle way of dealing with it - if you would like more info let me know.

I hope you are feeling more positive soon and your chap definatly needs to support you more!!!

x