First-time-dad vs Routine

Help! What the heck does a routine look like? is there meant to be one by now? our six-week-old sleeps, crys, eats and poos whenever...i reckon this is pretty normal for such a young bub, but my partner claims routine should be started asap...is this a bit harsh, or am i being silly?

I think that depends on wether your baby is breastfed or bottle fed to some extent. Its easier to get a bottle fed baby into a routine as most breastfed babies feed on demand. My son still feeds when he likes, day or night and hes nearly 7 months old. My second born has been in a routine from the day he was born to fit around my eldest child as he was only 15 months old when the baby was born. Hes fed his soldid meals at set times and has a bedtime routine, bathing routine, breakfast time routine etc. but this is mostly to benefit his older brother. I started a routine with my eldest son when he went onto solids which was at about 12 weeks on the advice of my HV but it was stil very flexible, if hed had a bad night we would both sleep in wheras i cant do that with my second. I have never had a set nap time for either of my babies, they have slept when they have needed it. Its up to you on how structured you want your life to be, youll find out what works for you. if that helps?

There are 'routines' and 'ROUTINES'. I started Oakley on a basic routine from the day he was born, which was just things like always making sure I dressed him when he got up in the morning, not making a noise or talking to him etc when he woke for a nighttime feed (including no tv's and no bright lights), bathing him every night between 6 & 7pm, daytime naps always being in daylight and not in a darkened room etc. People thought I was mad when I insisted at 5 weeks that I had to go home at 6pm because it was Oakleys bathtime - but from 6 weeks old he slept for 10 hours straight through (apart from the odd hiccup).Now at 6 months old he sleeps 13 hours solid every night. He seems to have established himself a routine based on the basics that we started with. He has only missed one evening bath since he was born (when daddy was left in charge!), and he was wide awake at midnight when I got home.

So if you can, try and put some basics in place just so they learn that for example a bath signifies that start of bedtime, and a more rigid routine should just happen in it's own time.

xx

thanks Charly and Nicci - need as much advice as I can. I think a low-key routine, you know, some structure but with a bit of flexibilty might be our best option. I think it's time for me to but down the bloody parenting text books, and just go for it!

I have tried to get my 2 month old son Aidan into a routine since he came home...similar to nicci. However Aidan still seems to have problems with it. He still eats at irregualr times during the day (hes bottle fed), sometimes going 1 1/2 hrs between feeds...sometimes going 4! He also cant go for longer than 4 hrs at night with out waking up for a feed, meaning he is getting up about 3 or times in the night.

Any advice would be appreciated!

Hi, my little girl got into a routine at about 8-9 weeks. We were bottlefeeding her 6 times a day, though one was at 3am! About 4 oz.
It was like this...
7am bottle,
11am bottle
3pm bottle
7pm bottle
11pm bottle
3am bottle.

Sometimes it meant actually setting my alarm for 3am, but I would rather do that than have her screaming for milk.

I always offered her a feed at the set times and the 3am feed gradually moved to 5 am then I dropped it.

Good luck.

My little boy set a routine from day one. He drank his milk every 2 hours to begin with and then after 8 weeks it has been every 3 hours and has kept it like that, he is 5 months now.

I believe that you should set a routine around 8 weeks coz they are settled by then. But thena agin some babies are hungry more that others a dn may demand more milk during the eveing than the morning.

Go with the flow, don't put presure on yourself. I think all mums do have a routine. Mine was Milk, nappy change, then time to put baby down to play or sleep. My little boy knew that he was going to have a nappy change after each feed, so i do class that as a routine.

Maybe you should ask your husband to introduce routine first and you can take over after routine has been established. I think your husband will find that it isnt easy!

Good luck

routine is great and i do agree. breastfeeding is not really like that though. It needs to be done on demand and very much as and when. If you try to 'routine' breastfeeding you get all kinds of problems.

new born babies i believe need to close to a parent/mum most of the time. breastfeeding needs to be constant. what i mean is VERY regular. this makes it so blummin' hard. breastfeeding does not fit into this tight 2 hour routine. If you try to make it fit in you will probally not suceed with breastfeeding. I breast fed 4 children each until they were roughly 1 year old. I too like routine and for older kids it is vital but newborn babies need to lead the breastfeeding routine. I mean that's what babies do they take over your life. The first 4 months I would say bugger routine. Let the baby lead. As they start solid food then give set a routine.