Totally undecided, need advice

28/01/2008 at 16:22

Hi All,

I really could do with some advice, I have a Seven year old Girl and a Five year old boy. I have been thinking about trying for baby number 3 but am undecided. I have days where i think it would be great to have another baby but then there are days when I have had a bad day with my other children not getting along together or the housework is piling up and i think that having baby number three would be to much to cope with.

I gave up work to be a full time mum as I have no family or friends living near me and my husband works long hours. I really would like to know if any of you have been in my situation and how you coped.

Hugs to all

Cally

01/02/2008 at 18:52

If it was me if you are undecided I think you should take a few months to think it through before trying to get pregnant. A baby is a big commitment and alot to cope with by yourself. Talk it through with your partner - does he want a baby?, would he be willing to help a bit more?

01/02/2008 at 19:13

Hi Cally,

I posted something similar to this about 2 weeks ago. I am 30 and have a daughter (9 in March) and a son (7 in May). Have been thinking about trying for another one alot over the past yr. Some days when I loose my temper, get stressed or get bogged down wih work and housework, I wonder how I would cope with another but other days I know that I will manage fine. I chat about it with my husband, we both really want another and I know the kids would be happy about it too. The age gaps scares me a bit though. At least I will have plenty of help from them.

Have you made a decision yet?

01/02/2008 at 21:14

Hi Pauline and Boo,

Thanks for your comments. My husband and I have discussed it and i know he is undecided also, like me he wonders how we will manage, i did have a chat with my doctor who is a mother and she said that she had to make a similar decision herself and like me her youngest at the time was five, in the end she decided to go for it and it has worked out very well for her. She said that her other two children have 'calmed down' since the baby arrived and are not fighting as much and she too is more relaxed about things.

I know it is different for everyone as all children are different, but it was encouraging.

01/02/2008 at 21:27

I think this will always be a mad house. I work too, but will reduce my hours soon. For every time I feel like pulling my hair out cos the kids ar fighting or cos they won't do their homework, I can think of 100 happy times. 1 child or 4 I think your always gonna have those times that you wanna run for the hills screaming.

If you can, why not get a babysitter and spend an evening together and have a good chat about it before you make any decisions.

Keep us informed and all the best to you.

Lucy-H

04/02/2008 at 12:10

Hi Cally,
I also had this dilema. we talked it through and decided that we were happy with our 2 healthy boys and that at 32 our baby days were over.
However at 34, I discovered I was pregnant and we were delighted.
We now have 2 boys and a girl and couldnt be happier. Its a total mad house most of the time and the house work is always piling up( admittedly, being on pp dose'nt help much hehehe) but I would'nt have it any other way. Baby no;4 however is now TOTALY out of the question.
Talk it through, if you feel that you both would like to go through the babystage one more time then go for it.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

lucy x

04/02/2008 at 12:48

Lucyanne, this has made me feel reassured too.

05/02/2008 at 21:31

Hi Cally,

Did you make a decision yet?

27/02/2008 at 22:40

Hi Ladies,

Sorry i havent been on, My Son Evan who is five fell and broke his colar bone so it has been a mad house. Well we made a decision and we have decided to go for it!. I had the merena removed and am on folic acid now. I am going to give myself a few weeks to take the folic acid and then we will start trying. Thanks to all for their advice and support. I really appreciate it.

Hugs

Sharon

Nicolamumto3

28/02/2008 at 08:40

Hi Sharon,
Home your son is now ok? Good for you! I have three boys and yes its a madhouse, and when you don't get your sleep because baby no.3 is teething I do wonder sometimes did we do the right thing! But then he is so adorable and the relationship between them is usually very good i must say. I even wonder if we will have a fourth some days, so it can't be that bad. God luck and take care xxx

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01/05/2008 at 00:36

Hi ladies,

Well we are still trying but no luck so far, i got a big letdown yesterday, i took a HPT and i watched it develop and the two lines started to go dark and i was elated but.. a few seconds later one of them disappeared.

I am not due my period until the 4th so i will test again at the weekend.

Hope you are all keeping well

Hugs

Cally

kristy

01/05/2008 at 19:52

you would cope, because you just do cope.
but it has to be something you want in your heart. if i were you try getting out a bit more, meet more mums etc and that way you won't feel so alone before you ttc, or not that is.

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