It is hard to get a diagnosis,that's a definate yes your daughter has Aspergers.It's not just a phase,something she'll grow out of,she's got this for life.
I was first just told my son had an autistic spectrum disorder.I'd always known there was something not right but also knew he was bright and responsive and capable.I was worried that all the things we expected of him and his life would just not happen,that he'd be in a special school,with other children who had various needs of their own and in many cases were incapable of being friends.I thought the worst,and couldn't even tell my husband for two days.Then I decided I might as well find out as much as I could about autism,went to the library and took out every book on the subject,and we realised it wasn't as bad as all that,and we worked out for ourselves it was Aspergers,long before we had a diagnosis.I did learn though that children affected by Aspergers will often do well at school and go on to do well in life as adults.They're often very bright and very focused,which is missed because of their behaviour issues.
Now you have your diagnosis don't look at it as a door closing.Your daughter is the same little girl she was yesterday,the day before and every day before that.You now have a definative answer.Your daughter is not badly behaved,she needs help in certain situations.You are not a bad mother,you're dealing with a child whose needs are different to other children her age.
My son's specialist would send a copy of his reports on my son to us,to the GP,and to the school.There should be a special needs co ordinator at the school,this isn't something they can ignore now.They need to get on and sort out the help your daughter needs.In my experience,and I know a lot of others the same,you have to be pushy to get your child's needs met.We had issues with supervision,we had teachers who had never even heard of Aspergers.There were social issues,as well as things like issues with crowds,with sudden loud noises,my son's over sensitive to sound/taste/touch/smell.Other children needs to respect your child too,and respect that she may be different also.Your going to get the child who winds up your daughter to get a reaction because they know they'll get one.It's important that is stopped before it happens.We did have a very good special needs unit at the school,and a fantastic special needs teacher and once she was involved things improved so much.It was just such hard work getting them involved.
It's important to remember that Aspergers is a part of who your daughter is good or bad,and it isn't going to be all bad.My son is pretty much as capable now as any other 11 year old.This should now be the start of where your daughter gets the help she needs.
