help for a first time mum :)

i am 22 and pregnant with my first baby and i am extreamly happy! but was wondering if any one had any good advice for during and after pregnancy. it woyld be intresting to hear peoples stories and their experiences. also any advice i can pass onto my partner as i find the men get over looked a bit and i'm not quiet sure what advice i can give him.

thanks to any one who replies

Ellie xxx

i think the best thing to do is relax, and enjoy it. Your partner to. When  was having Isabelle Rob was very involved with scans and appointments and afterwards bonded with her really quickly. But with Ayesha because of work and other problems he was unable to come to hardly any scans he even missed the one finding out she was a girl and he struggled to bond with her. They are close now but it was hard for them both. This time is making sure he spends all the time he can talking to bump and coming to as many appointments as he can no matter how boring he finds them, lol

So best advice for your partner is to be as invovled as possible and get him to do some research about the labour process it can be very shocking for them if they are unprepared.  I bought rob a travel wash set for when we go into hospital. On ebay the have small partner hospital bag with mini toothbrusg, paste body wash. etc. The one I go even had a disposible camera in it and it was only £9 for the lot. It made anice gift and shows your still thinking of him.

hiya ellie,

im emma im 22 and im 13 weeks pregnant with my second baby

i completly agree with linz let him be involved coming to app and when you are reading books let him to because he will prob be your birthing partner so he'l be prepared.

how far on are you?

xxx

I am 12 weeks now so relaxed a bit more now i know i'm out of the danger zone its so nice telling people now as well.

My partner was so good at the first scan, he looked like he was going to cry and couldnt take his eyes off the screen.

 xxxx

it is a huge weight of your mind to see that tiny wriggly person on the screen!

enjoy it, make memorys of it and don't pig out on every thing you can, you'll regert that after.

for your partner, sex won't hurt the baby, no you don't understand, so don't say you do, just bring sweets when she wants them, rub her back when she needs and don't complain you have man flu! lie through your teeth and tell her "wow it's all up front, you don't even looking pregnant from the back, you've hardly put on any weight, what stretch marks, oh i never even noticed them"

and you, tell him how proud you are of him and how you think he's going to be a great dad, men need that as much as we need to know were going to be a great mum x

i havent heard the heart beat yet but i saw it and was told it was a good strong one, got worried whenshe said the stomach was full of fluid but she reassured me it was a good thing! so that was a weight off my mind, its amazing what they can do i saw kidneys too and its brain is equal on both sides and they found it hard to take a picture of the feet where the baby was moving so much (not supprised with how hard they press the machine down on ur tummy!!)

I'm trying not to eat too much or if i am hungry trying to make it the right things but with xmas approaching and all the chocolates on special offer i am finding it very hard!

i found i crave pickled onions could eat jars full any one els got cravings? i heard some women crave dirt??

i'm trying to encourage my partner he is good though he likes to kiss my belly and say good morning and good night and he gets my blanket when i fall asleep on the sofa and runs me baths, i also went on the capoul website cos there was a download for dads, he may read it but we will see lol i find men dont like to read that much.

xxx

I dont kno if its a craving but i LOVE brushing my teeth lots and crunching up ice!!!

A good way to get the men to read stuff is leave baby mags in the bathroom! andrew often has a flick thru in the bath and has even complained theres not enough for just dads, like there own mag! and also in our hospital theres all different info boards i strategically sit near ones i think he needs to read as weve have apps everyother week for the last two months and were usualy there 1hr minimum hes learning alot!

Another thing that made andrew open up ask questions etc was the film knocked up! deff worth a watch!

and like the other girls said attending scans are a must, xxx

Hi Ellie congratulations on your pregnancy.

When I was pregnant I was always reading books on pregnancy and birth and though Sean never really read them he asked me loads of questions. Will you be going to ante-natal classes? Sean came with me to mine and to be honest I'd already read practically everything there was to know but it really helped in making Sean prepared for what would happen at the birth.

I think the best piece of advice for you is to just enjoy it, I loved being pregnant though I was terrified of getting stretch marks! I used bio oil 3 times a day every day, spent a fortune on that stuff!

Lol Kristy your advice for men, you're so right though cos if Sean had of told me I was huge I'd probably of thrown a hissy fit, he used to tell me I looked sexy with a bit more weight on!!

I saw a book the other day called "He's having a baby" cant remember which shop it was in though. Ive also seen a book for men on babies and kids in Halfords, its a Haynes manual like you get for different kinds of cars which I thought was quite clever!

i would like to do antenatal classes just dont have a clue where to start i dont know if i go through my midwife or call the hospital there is so much to learn, i have been reading magazines and books and it fasinates me how much is going on!!

i'll have to keep an eye out for men litreture, its just so hard to find as most of it is focused round the women. although my partner would like to cut the cord which i think is nice and i am also letting him decide if we find out the sex so that he feels like he has a say and is getting involved.

its really intresting hearing all your experiences as everyone is so diffrent too. I'm still unsure on pain relife i know i want a birth where i can be mobile and have tens and gas and air my mum asked about a water birth has anyone had a water birth? 

xxx

you could ask your midwife about antenatal classes. but Sure start childrens centes re great. they offer loads of free services from bump to birth breastfeeding classes and stay and play for when the baby is born. Our even do Preggy yoga. So its worth asking your doctors about where your local one is. I know some areas are better than others but if you can get to them its worth it as some of the other ones ran by the hospital can be expensive.

and about the lit for men. Most birth and preggy books have a section in it just for men. Dr miriam Stoppard does a really good one with a great partner section

this link is the book on ebay

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/New-Pregnancy-and-Birth-Book-By-Dr-Miriam-Stoppard_W0QQitemZ140280934326QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Baby_Maternity_Pregnancy_MJ?hash=item140280934326&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1121%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318

Hi Ellie

Congrats on your pergnancy. Great advice by all,id say if ever your not sure ask and if something dont feel right go get it checked or ring your gp or midwife if you have one,no matter how silly it may seem,might just be your body adjusting to pregnancy or something else(go with your gut instingt,you no best,this applies to when your baby is here to,your its mum and no best)

Best of luck to you both,there is a dads section here but i do believe they do a dads book somewhere(i got one for adi),check the site and i'll give the name of it if i find it after unpacking my last 3 box's.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm Karen, 23 and mami to Hollie. We are also trying for number two.

The girls have given you some good advice, so the only thing i wanted to add is that you should enjoy spending time as a couple before the baby comes along. Dads sometimes feel a little left out after the baby has been born because all the visitors etc are there to see the baby, and the parents spend less time together as a couple in the first few weeks. I know when it settles down, then you can enjoy time together again, but when you do have a baby you become a family. So enjoy this time together not having to worry about remembering nappies etc every time you go out.

And most of all enjoy being pregnant, which is sounds like you are doing. xx 

Hi Ellie,

Your baby must be due the same as mine. I'm 12 weeks on Saturday. Being excited and happy is the best thing you can be during pregnancy.. and I can tell you are both.

My advice is don't get to upset if your partner isn't quite as excited as you are at any time. My partner would glaze over when i started telling him the development stage of our baby when I was pregnant with my first. It would really upset me... this time round I haven't talked much about the baby except about when it comes. It bores him to be honest but I know how happy he was and still is when our first was born so I don't worry about it.

when your due date? xx

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