Struggling and need of some inspiration!

Hi it's Mandy,

Well where do I start! I'm sure (I hope!) someone else is going through what I am at the moment.

My almost 18 month old daughter has been driving me mad, she has a cold that as soon as it starts to get better, turns into something else, like ear infection or virus (well that's what the doctors say anyway!, I do think she is picking it up from eight year twins as the seem to bring everything home with them, but are never or seem to be ill for long, but I seem to get it for it weeks!

I'm still trying to get her off the breast, there always seems to be a reason that we can't see it through, like teething, colds, I'm ill or really stressed! I just want to know if anyone out there is suffering from lack of sleep and there beauiful little baby, turning into alittle monster!

My daughter is hitting out, throwing tantrums and screaming alot it's driving me mad! I feel like no matter what I do, unless I'm feeding her or cuddling her she is not happy. I'm doing this now and she is screaming bloody murder!!

I just feel like I'm all alone in this, we are supposed to be trying for another baby and the thought of making the same mistakes all over again as my twins are adopted, really scares me! I did give her everything as we did think and I still think that we may never have anymore (all stress related).

She is not really not interested in her routine, the twins have a good solid routine, even now! I just want a end to the madness! This also has an effect on my marriage as my husband works alot of hours and always seem tired, he's good at playing with the kids especially the baby,not when anything serious like helping me with weaning her off the breast of her routine!

I'm busy at home trying to keep everything clean and tidy and looking after the baby, whilst never having a minute to myself, I don't know what sleep is I've forgotten! I love her to pieces, I just need for her come off the breast and go through the night or just get up once I could cope with that. I just want things to get better, I work really hard for family even when I'm dog tired!!!

I'm sorry it is such a boring post, but I do need to have a moan! If someone could take the time to reply that would be great! I just want to get it off my chest!

Mandy XXXXXXXXX

Hi Mandy
I am so sorry you are still having a rough time, im sorry i can't offer any advice on the breast feeding as i could not do it!
But you are not alone with the tantrums, Jessica is 19months and has just learnt to kick and scream if she does not get her own way. It does not last for long though as i totally ignore her when she is like that and she soon calms down.

Sorry i can't offer any advice, but we are all here for you xx

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sorry, cant really help as we are going through similar (minus the breastfeeding) with our 1 year old, all i can say is it may be the terrible 2's a bit early, my oldest started the terrible 2's at about 18 months, she may just be testing the boundaries. it could be time to get tough. once isaac hits 18 months he isnt gonna know whats hit him when the rules are laid out! (i think hes a bit too young to understand at the moment

I can't offer any advice im afraid on the b/feeding as the longest I did was 6months with Tom and only a matter of days with the other two unfortunately.

Does your daughter have any kind of routine during the day? I think the only way to keep some kind of sanity and order to your life and theres is if you do to some extent, it helps them expect what is coming next and cope with it easier. Also tiredness will contribute to the tantrums so its a vicious circle I expect she is as tired as you with the lack of sleep. I hope you come to some solution. Have you read the baby whisperer im a great fan of those books and routines are quite gentle. Good luck.

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Hi Mandy sorry to hear you are still having a lot of trouble with things in general.

I can sympathise with you on the lack of sleep, as Hollie too is still b/feeding at night. It seems that she needs it for comfort and it is driving me nuts, as no matter how much she eats in the day i am not guranteed a full nights sleep. I think i have said before but one of the best ways to help wean a baby is to have someone else settle her at night. She can smell the milk on you, i know Hollie certainly can and will try and latch on through a t-shirt. I know your husband works a lot but has he tried setting her at night? If so will she settle a little easier as she cant smell milk on him?

With regards to ttc stress really doesnt help you. We are also trying but i think the feeding is stopping us at the moment.

My partner is also really good with the play side of things but doesnt do anything else with Hollie. Every so often i get down about it and things get easier as he helps out for a while, but then when he thinks im ok things go back to the way they were.
Leave the housework as much as possible, that is the least of your problems. You need to rest as much as you can and spend time weaning her off the breast. It will take some time, but try it step by step and ensure you are rested enough so it doesnt add to the stress. How many feeds is she on a day?

Sorry i have no advice on the behaviour issues we have yet to come across that lol.

Someone is always here for you when you need us, take care

Karen xx

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Sorry for moaning on earlier. My daughter is normally really relaxed and very funny, I guess if I get stressed, so will she.

Thank you all so much for relpying it was really kind of you take to time to reply.

I guess it is not the right time for us to concieve, that's why it has not happened! I will get a bit more organised, so she has a routine introduced slowly, just keep and trying and don't get stressed!

MandyXXXXX

Mandy don't worry we all have a good old moan here and all support each other which is why pp is so fab! Some times you just feel like everything is mounting up and then an hour later you are fine!! I think sleep deprivation is the worst. But take care and enjoy your family xxx

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Hi, i'm afraid i can't offer any advice at all as didn't breastfeed and i'm not at the tantrum stage with jd yet but just wanted to say it's good to have a good rant and get it all out, we're all here to listen. Hope your feeling bit better today x

Thanks girls, you are all brilliant! She is alittle better today. I'm just finding hard to fit things in when it comes to her routine, there is always housework or my other two want something not mention my ironing pile that is going to set a world record!!!

I'm just going to be alittle more organised and make sure her routine comes first!

I still would like alittle bro/sis for my little one before I get to old (35 this year!!) I just want to learn something from this experience and use it help next time should it happen! (I must be stupid!!)Any fertility ideas would be great as I am still breastfeeding (I know I should this is not the right thread, sorry)

I really want a homebirth this time and I think if I can have the birth I want this time and try and prepare myself, maybe I won't get so down as my husband could not keep the house up and it took me months to get it back to what it was!!! Maybe my family could help out more this time with cleaning before or a cleaner!!! Any advise would be great!

Luv, the PP Girls!!!

Mandy XXXXX