TTC & giving up breastfeeding - Need some advice & Help!

Hi Everyone mandy here,

As it turned out, I was not pregnant!, got my time of the month yesterday!, feeling really down and still wondering how people do have more than one pregnancy!

My baby daughter is nearly 16 months old and I feel ready and confident to stick to weaning her off the breast! I'm sleep deprived still as she still likes to feed at night and she is still in our room.

We have just altered her room again to make it alittle more interesting so she will be happy in there. I just think with both us getting a full nights sleep and her off the breastmilk, things will improve, I just need to get started!

We are going to all being well (as we both getting over the flu!) are going to put her in her room on Saturday for good this time hopefully!

I thinking of giving a few months (eventhough my biological clock is screaming at me!) of not trying, not that we have been trying that hard! Maybe April and May, then start again as this is bound to mess with my cycle alittle, then see what happens! Any advice, would be great on that subject!

I'm just finding it alittle hard to cope everyday with my 8 year old twins and run the house on very little sleep, I'm getting alittle down and feeling like the worse mum in the world!

My husband and I have had a few problems as he is starting a new business to help with our financial situation and I'm going to childmind my friends little girl (my god daughter), who is only five days older than my daughter.

Did anyone find when they had there first baby that, there relationship suffered abit or alot, I just find at the moment that he gets on my nerves quite easily, they seem to not do enough to help out or say the wrong thing and sometimes expect too much from you and give very little in return (especially the physical side, as that took a while for me to try and get the closeness back and it still comes and goes!)

Sorry for moaning on and on!!!, but I needed to get off my chest!

Mandy XXXXXX

P.S Does everyone seem to be getting pregnant at the moment or is it just me, I want to cry everytime I see a pregnant person!

Any advice would be great, not sure where to turn, next!

aw babe massive hugs to you.
you've ran your self down and taking on quite a bit by the sounds of it. you need some r and r. easyer said than done i know.
i found as soon as i was pregnant with my 1st our relaionship when down the pan, i was at the point of walking out but i felt trapped it was that bad, he even cheated on me (although he say's he never) but in the end we worked through it and things are good now.
him setting up his own business will make this harder at home to, try and bear with it, it'll be ok in the end.
once you managed to wean your dd off the breast and get some sleep you'll feel 100% better. i know loads of people say they'll have a break from ttc etc, but i know i couldn't ever time i said that. it to mch of a grip over me for me to stop really ttc all together.
p.s every one seems to be getting pregnany when your ttc, thats the heartbreaking part of ttc. it's not just you promise xx

I think every first time parent must find it hard,i no we certanly did,i felt so jealous of adi goig out with his mates but i used to tell him to go just to get piece and quiet but then get all stroppy when he was out.

Like karen says big hug to ya hun and you'll feel much better once total feeding and no brest feeding.

Not much i no but we are all here to listen.

Take care.
xx

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Thanks Kirsty, I am spread alittle thin, it's makes me wonder why I should want anymore, but I can't help it!, I've only had one pregnancy, it does not seem fair!

I know I can seem like the grass is greener somewhere else, everyone seems happier than me!, I just want abit of contentment for me! I guess I didn't focus that much on my relationship when my daughter was born, as I could not believe that I finally managed to concieve and finally have a baby!, better do it differently if I get to have another go!

Good luck with the pregnancy, it's such a precious time, let me know how you go!

Mandy X

Sorry, did not see your reply rileysmum, thanks, I do think when I stop feeding I will feel better and more positive!

Mandy X

Dont worry hun.

Like i said i felt the same but only managed to brestfeed for 3mths as riley was a v.v.hungry baby.I did express tho and give a bottle,i did much better as i felt i had some sort of life back,you can pass them over for partner to feed then.

Emma. xx

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Hi,

I'm Karen and mami to Hollie. I am also breastfeeding and usually sleep deprived as Hollie has taken to comfort feeding at night when her teeth are bad. We are also ttc but not that hard. It is so much harder ttc when you are already parents as we find that we dont get much time to ourselves.
Our relationship suffered when Hollie was small as we had no time for each other and she wouldnt settle unless asleep on one of our chests. We moved her into her own room a month or two ago and touch wood she sleeps a lot better now. We found when she was in with us that she stirred more and i was on edge constantly incase we woke her. Now we are back to normal and our relationship is great.
anyway just wanted to wish you luck ttc and like kristy said it isnt just you, but ttc is on your mind so you notice pregnant women more. Which makes you think everyone is getting pregnant except you.

Karen xx

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Thanks Karen, that helps alot. My relationship has suffered quite abit, because when my daughter was born, he had to look after the twins, so I got up with our daughter all time and ever since, he has offered, but not sure if he ever meant it, no matter what he's said!

I guess I am alittle resentful of that and because he had a month off, his idea, he moaned about looking after the house and the kids (not our baby), he couldn't wait to go back to work! and kept saying to me you should try and go out! I was so weak from breastfeeding and giving birth, I felt really rushed!

I know he did try and he did stay up when he came in from nights, till I got up!, but I don't know maybe, things seem worse as I'm so tired, I'm just worried should we be blessed with another miracle as it took along time, that it would be much worse and what if I make the same mistakes!

I guess I'm worried that I will get postnatal depression! and that maybe I should be greatful that I got pregnant at all before and be grateful for what I have and not what I don't have!

I'm just frustrated,tired and feed up!

Maybe some people do have it all!, just not me!

I feel guilty for giving up breastfeeding, eventhough she does not need it!

I guess I worry that I'm not up to it again! My husband and I have lost alot of our closeness, because of having children and other things, just everyday life! I just want us to have a laugh again and be comfortable in each other company, without the stress!

Sorry for going on, it feels good to talk.

Any advice or to hear from similar circumstances would be great.

Mandy

XX

i do know where you are coming from. Last summer it was me and Ian and we were able to do what we wanted whenever we wanted. This year things have changed loads as we now have to think about Hollie aswell. I resented that when she was born, i know i shouldnt have and love her to bits. But i felt she had put a wedge between Ian and i and resented the fact i wasnt a carefree person anymore.

When Hollie was born Ian did a lot of the housework, bought me drinks etc when i was feeding and kept telling me to rest. Now i do the housework, look after Hollie, wash, iron etc even when i am shattered. And his attitutude to getting up in the night with her is that i have to do it because she is breastfed lol.

We are a lot closer now as a couple though and i am really happy that we are a family. Which makes me wonder sometimes if i want to go through the process of having another baby. Especially when we have a hard day with Hollie i am glad we are through the newborn stage.

You should never feel guilty for weaning your daughter, you have done a great job to get this far and she doesnt need your milk anymore.

How does your husband feel about having another baby? Have you spoken to him about the way you feel regarding your relationship as a couple? At the end of the day you need couple time too, you are still a couple and a mum and dad but there is a difference between the two. You should be happy as a couple.

Karen xx

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(((hug)))

It's such a disappointing moment when you are TTC, think it might have happened and then along comes your TOTM and shatters the dreams for that month. Of course then you notice every single pregnant woman or newborn baby within sight.

Hopefully things will get easier when your daughter is in her own room and you and your husband might get a little more time to yourselves.

I don't know if it is an option but with both my daugher and my son I went away for 3 nights to make sure they knew there was no more milk and to stop me giving in. Neither of them made too much fuss although my son still had a tendency to have a little fondle and try and help himself.

I had my daughter before I met my husband so we'd never had time alone. However, practically all our arguments are in relation to something with the children so it definitely is a challenge to a relationship.

Good luck, hopefully when the flu passes and your daughter is weaned things will seem much brighter.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me. I do sound like a basket case!

It does not help that it's my time of month, thank god that is coming an end!

I did talk to hubby yesterday (well sounded off), he said that things are alittle tough at moment, but he really wants more children, I thinks alot of this with me is sleep deprivation and the fact that he works long hours!

He thinks that me and our baby daughter have such a strong bond that,(through no fault of my own) I don't like to leave her or when you do go and potter around that she won't get the care that I would give her! I guess in some way it's true, but I'm used to doing it all by myself, I just get on with it!

So, I guess we will carry on as we are and get madam off the breast, but we are going away next week to Cornwall for a few days, so I will get her off the breast when I come back as she will only get confused!

I just want to have a young sibling for my daughter, I just think I need to relax and not worry that it is not going to happen! I just worry as I am 35 this year and don't want time to slip away, if could just switch the needing to be pregnant off as it seems hard, when you try and nothing happens, it just brings back bad memories, when I was trying to get pregnant the first time!

Any tips would be great!

Mandy XX

P.S Thanks to everyone again!