Urgh. Really not a great start to the year. I need to vent about my crappy body, and if anyone has any comforting ideas, that'd be great...

So. Still on the clomid. I think I ov-ed last cycle, and got my first detectable prog level. But tested today at 13dpo and bfn. That would be ok, but each cycle takes at least 8 weeks for me. I know I can't expect to conceive first time, but it's not fair I get so few chances. I wait till 15dpo, if -ve start provera for a week, then wait upto 2 weeks to get a period, then I don't ov till the 3rd week, then the ttw again... I just hate the fact that since ov drilling in aug I've had 2 cycles- and 1 I don't think I ov-ed on anyway. Even ignoring my shitty ovaries, how am I ever going to get a bfp if I manage 4 cycles a year?

And my second issue.... With my progesterone level, my testosterone level was checked as well. I'm not sure why. This was 10 pre drilling. It was almost normal at 1.8 after, and now it's 8.9 again. That can't be good can it? Have my ovaries just healed up and back to their pre drilling worst?

Just fed up. Think I'll start provera on wed after another, hope beyond expectation poas. That might mean that by, ooooh, end of march I might be able to test again.

This is total bollocks.

B 0 L L 0 C K S

Stupid BE

Hi pumpkin.

You're right, that is totally B O L L O C K S.
I can completely empathise with you. I also have very irregular cycles. About 3 in a year, if im lucky...and that's without the use of provera. My 6 cycles of clomid took well over a year and didn't even bloody work, apart from making me ovulate ONCE....and I was so p issed off when I didn't fall pregnant. I naively thought all i'd have to do was ovulate and I get caught. How wrong. I'm now about to commence the IVF journey.
Keep strong babe. We all know how you feel. But it's going to be worth the wait, it's got to be.

Holl xx

Thanks holl. It's just crap. I feel marginally better to have some one else to have as crappy cycles as me-hope you don't mind... Next clinic in April for Ivf referral ( although cons in aug said " but I doubt it'll come to that"... Whatever.)

Aw Hun I know how u feel. But it can happen Hun I'm living proof. I'd been ttc for over 2 years, I have PCOS and hardly ever had periods, 3/4 a year maybe!
I had tried clomid nothing, so was waiting for my lap and dye, ovarian drilling op when I fell pregnant. The 2 things I truly believe made it happen was that we had kind stopped trying as had the date for the op, also the main factor I think was reflexology! Amazing!!
After the first session the week after I had my first natural period in 10 months, they were regular for 2 more cycles with reflexology every 2 weeks, then I fell pregnant!!!
I was so so shocked!
I'm not saying reflexology works for everyone but it totally did for me.

I wish u all the luck hun, please don't give up, I know it's hard but it will happen one day and some way.

X x

Aw I really feel for you, as i had irregular cycles although i had about 5 a year and I felt bad enough so i can imagine how you feel. The clomid worked for me on the 5th lot of it so it can happen i was like you and had just about had enough when got my bfp. I had started reflexolgy as well so like Faye says give it a go as it really helps you to relax.

Hope Ive helped, it will happen for you, A woman my Mum worked with had irregular cycles and had 4 mc's and now she has 4 kids! so you can get there in the end. she had reflexology too and swears that helped her xxx Take care and good luck xxxxx

Vent away, Pumpkin, its what we're here for. I know it feels totally helpless and if its not happened now, how can it ever happen. But IVF starting in April?!? Thats only 3 months away! How bout you just concentrate on IVF and "forget" the next 3 months? You never know.... xxx

Thanks all.

Windy- its back to clinic for referral to another centre as mine doesn't do ivf. I'm under no allusions this'll be quick. But you know what? Private referral seems more and more appealing. Just need to win lottery now..

I'm going to try and chill. You never know, but all this emotion might mean my af's on the way

I think I've figured out why I'm so upset now. I've got a load of events this summer. Weddings, family parties etc. And after drilling, seeing fertility specialist, clomid, I just thought I'd be pregnant or a mum by then. The current state of affaires is just not where I thought I'd be.

Thanks again guys. It means alot that you bother to try and make me feel better.

Kx

Can't offering you any comforting words for our crappy ovaries hun but sending you lots of PMA x

Well...

Today af arrived exactly 14 dpo. And I'm a lot more cheerful!

Thanks girls. Twas a dark few days...

Kx

three cheers for your ovaries! Well done guys! xx

Pumpkin-81 glad you are feeling better hun (((big hugs))) x