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Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
13/07/2013 at 14:37
Hello, everyone. So, back in March I had a missed miscarriage. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but fetal demise happened around 9 weeks, even though we had heard a healthy heartbeat at the OB around then. My husband and I were absolutely devasted. It was my first pregnancy and we were really excited. Instead of getting a D&C I opted to use cytotec and pass everything at home, which was just a harrowing experience to say the least. When I passed the fetus, I just COULDN'T bring myself to flush it down the toilet like my OB said, so my husband and I buried and got a nice garden stone.
Anyway, just yesterday my aunt (quite out of the blue) completely went off on me and said evil, horrible things like "I know you weren't really pregnant!!" "Everyone thinks you're crazy and that you faked it!!" "What'd you bury back there? A tampon?" So I talked with one of my cousins (not any of said aunt's children) and she said that particular aunt has been saying that since it happened and that everyone had been "confused that I buried the fetus instead of taking it to the hospital for testing." Thing is, NONE of them even bothered talking to me about it. I thought it strange that hardly anybody offered any condolences, now I know it's because they think I faked it.
It has been so hard coping with the loss as it is. Everyday has been a struggle for me. It hard enough dealing with the fact that my baby's life was so brief and to find out that people who have known me my entire life, people that are supposed to love me DENY that I was pregnant in the first place? It's unbearable. I'm so crushed, confused, and feel so alone. If my pregnancy had ended with the birth of a healthy baby, they wouldn't even be thinking these things. I really, really need some support.
13/07/2013 at 18:38
Hiya im so sorry to hear what youve been through and are going through. Makes me mad as i had a mc on the 310513 and know exactly how you feel.
Why dont you confront your aunt? I would have to have it out withher, what a cow to say those things. So cruel of her.xx
14/07/2013 at 19:23
I agree. As if going thru something like that isnt hard enough, to not have the support of your family is disgusting!! Xx
15/07/2013 at 10:37
they are not your fimaly they dont know how you feel, let god to judge them if it was their child whos going through wat you going they would support her, stay strong you are not alone and i hate them coz i know how you feel
17/07/2013 at 14:32
Thanks for the kind replies ladies. A few days have passed since then and I'm still reeling about it, so it means a lot to me.
While this was happening, I did confort her about it. Where my aunt's anger came from, I will never know, but the 'opinions' she (and the rest of the maternal side of my family) formed were a product of her/their ignorance on the subject of miscarriage I'm sure. A big reason she thinks I faked it is because, in her words, "You have to have a D&C." Which simply isn't the case. I know she had a miscarriage many years ago, and she is the type to think because something happened to her, she is the authority on it. I tried to show her my ultrasounds and that's when she finally got up and left.
Normally, I am a very forgiving person, (I just can't stay mad at people) but I will never forgive her for what she said to me and it'll be a long time if I ever forgive my other family for their nasty opinions as well.
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