Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
30/07/2012 at 19:39
On Thursday my husband and I went for our 12 week scan and had the devestating news that there was nothing but a seven week embryo and yolk sack in my uterus and I should have been 13 weeks and there is no way my dates are wrong. Words cannot describe the panic and pain that seared through me when I saw nothing on the screen after the tummy scan, I was in total shock and since then I have never felt so sad and broken in my life, in fact it feels like my life is over.
On reflection I remember the sonographer saying after she did the internal scan that she was going to check my ovaries but that's when I got 'hysterical' bit of a hurtful comment but overall they were kind to me, but why would she have wanted to check my ovaries then? Does anyone know?
Also I started having some light bleeding yesterday and today which is dark brown, I assume I am now having a miscarriage. I am meant to go back to hospital on Friday for a second scan. Do you think if I pass the baby naturally I will have to have another scan or a procedure to check the baby has all gone? Can't believe I have to even ask these questions! Also what might the miscarriage be like? I am pretty terrified of what this spotting might turn into, can anyone tell me what it might look/ feel like?
My husband has been totally amazing, as have most of my friends, I have text some of them though and not heard back- that hurts, I guess people are strange around loss. Also two of my best friends are pregnant four weeks either side of what I was and we were so excited about all being new mums together- now it feels like even though they have been supportive I have been dragged out of the baby club by my hair and kicked in the guts! It will hurt seeing them as their bumps grow.
I am also very scared I will never be a mummy, when I so long to be. I have read many positive stories on here about women having healthy pregnancies after this kind of experience but I can only imagine that if I do get pregnant again I will be petrified of losing the baby for the whole pregnancy, and will never ever forget the image of nothing on the screen after my first 12 week scan.
Any advice/ support on the rambling questions I have asked would be really appreciated.
Thank you for listening to me. XXX
30/07/2012 at 20:27
hi hun i'm so sorry to hear about your loss i hope my story will help you in some way. in the last year i had to have two d&c's once i had a blighted ovum which i found out at nearly 11 weeks...so there was no baby in there in the first place and the second time they warned me things are not going well and i knew again by week 10 that it's a miscarriage again. with the first one i started spotting then bleeding a little but they told me that it's very unlikely to happen naturally quickly as it hasn't hapenned up to now so i booked myself in for surgery as i just wanted it over asap and also i heard some horror stories as how bad it can get....the bleeding. the second time i only started spotting slightly so again i booked myself in for surgery. it was the best decision for me, it's over so quick and literally 45 minutes later you can just go home and start recovering....i had light spotting after and then 28 days later got my first period. don't worry hun, i know it's hard but you will have your baby one day i'm sure!!! hope i helped in some way and sending youlots of hugs xxxx
30/07/2012 at 20:46
30/07/2012 at 20:49
30/07/2012 at 20:53
31/07/2012 at 19:57
31/07/2012 at 21:31
We had a d&c in June and I think it was the best decision for us and for me. It was still one of the most traumatic things I have ever been through, but I am out the other side.
Allow yourself time to relax and take the time you need. I spent a lot of time resting and doing things that I want....chocolate and terrible films.
You are allowed to feel depressed, angry and upset. Just remember the positive, that someone was wrong and it was not meant to be. That won't help now, but in the long run it will do.
Whatever you do, remember you and your husband have each other. x x
31/07/2012 at 22:22
I had a missed miscarriage last November and would advise you to get the op. I had never had anaesthetic and was afraid to have one, so I took the tablet option. Was a big mistake, the folowing day I haemerraged and lost 5 pints of blood. Had an emergency op and was all done and over with when I woke up.Had to have 2 transfusions and was really scary. Is a painful time, I know but put your own health first. If it is any consolation, I am now almost 9 weeks pregnant. I promise you will feel better in time, even though you never get over your loss.
01/08/2012 at 18:07
I am so sorry for your loss.
I found out I had a missed miscarriage 3 weeks ago, I was at my 16 week check up and found baby's heart had stopped beating. They think baby died around 13/14 weeks.
I had medical management and although I appreciate that for some of the women above that was not the right choice for me it definitely was. Don't get me wrong it was painful and traumatic but any experience following miscarriage is. The midwife was amazing though and they took some hand and foot prints from my baby for me.
I hope the D+C goes as well as it can go for you and hopefully then you can have some closure on whats happened and allow yourself time to grieve and recover physically.
I feel exactly the same as you about falling pregnant again, there is nothing I want more than a baby but the thought of going through this again is unbearable. Sending you lots of hugs and best wishes x x x
14/08/2012 at 21:41
14/08/2012 at 22:04
14/08/2012 at 22:42
15/08/2012 at 16:37
Oh god the dreams don't sound good hun.. Mine are all just baby related, like a kick in the teeth when I wake up and realise I am no longer pregnant. I am feeling okay at the moment... We decided at the hospital to have a few tests done (blood test, swabs and a test on placenta) so an appointment at the hospital has come through for 14th sept. Have been assured that if an infection etc had been found then I would have been contacted for necessary treatment. I can accept the fact that it was probably one of those things (natures way, not meant to be, ETC you know the rest I am sure- might be as sick of hearing them as i am!!! ) BUT we needed to rule out anything that could potentially affect us in the future. So in limbo now.. Want to think about trying again, have started folic acid again. Unsure how long we really are supposed to wait, some say just one AF, and others 3 months.. Dont suppose anyone can shed some light there? Miscarriage seems to come along with lots + lots of unanswered questions doesn't it?!Hope your horrible nightmares go away fairysare xxxx
18/08/2012 at 20:42
14/09/2013 at 02:35
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