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Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
22/09/2014 at 23:57
23/09/2014 at 03:11
Hey wooh... Oh im so sorry to hear you are going through this! Miscarriage is such a heartbreaking thing.
i completely understand how you are feeling... My first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks that baby had died around 6) & i lost my second baby at 9 1/2 weeks in June.
what you do from here is a totally personal choice. If you wanted to wait to see if you miscarry naturally then you DO have time to do that... With my missed miscarriage my doctor wanted me to wait... Even though it had already been 3 weeks since baby had died at the point when we found out. I waited another week and a half before i opted to take the medication at 10 1/2 weeks.... I just needed it to be over as the waiting, knowing what was going to happen, was so heartbreaking.
My personal experience with the medication was that it was excruciatingly painful!! (I took cytotec). Basically this induces contractions similar to labor pains to bring on the miscarriage. It was so painful that after about 3 hours in absolute agony, bleeding very heavily (4 pads soaked completely through in 2 1/2 hours) & not knowing when it was going to end, i had to go to the emergency department. The strong painkillers that i was given by my OB to take in conjunction with the cytotec did not touch the pain at all... Only IV pain meds in the ED gave me relief. Im sure every woman has a different experience but if you're having ill feeling about taking the meds anyway I would say give yourself some time... To see if it happens naturally & if not, to discuss the options more.
With my second loss i was advised to have a d & e... Which i did... & although i, like you, felt sad about having to take the medical route, it was a million times less painful & traumatic.
take some time wooh to rest (as difficult as that is), talk things through with your OH or other family / friends... Or us on here. ... Take time to process your loss... You do not have to make decisions yet.
Take care & keep posting if you need to talk more x
23/09/2014 at 08:54
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Just thought I'd give you a different experience. I miscarried at 7+something weeks. When I had my scan they could see the pregnancy sac but absolutely nothing inside. I found this easier to deal with I think because in my head there never was a baby.
I too found it a difficult decision over how to manage the miscarriage, but for me once I knew it was over, I just wanted to move on so took the tablets.
Anyway, I've gone back through my posts and retrieved this that I wrote at the time:
"After taking it last Monday, although I had red bleeding it didn't get heavier until Friday. Still with very little pain, just the odd twinge. On Sunday night I got some pain, enough to make me take my first painkillers and curl up with a wheat bag. I also "flooded" massively that evening, having to change a super-maxi pad about every 1.5 hours. I was heavy in the night but didn't "leak".
Monday morning I had some pain and took some tablets again, but within an hour or so I felt much better. So much so I was hanging pictures and a mirror in our new house!
And now (Tuesday) I seem to be on a definite slowdown and with no pain again.
So really I've had 4 days of heavy bleeding, about 14 hours of pain which subsided with painkillers and a wheat bag (and didn't wake me btw). It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting."
It is perhaps worth me saying that since having my son, my period pains in general have been a lot less painful - perhaps a slack uterus or something?! So maybe that's why it was a lot less painful for me.
As to the future I'm reading from your signature bar that you were successful straight after Puregon/Pregnyl injections, so maybe another try might not be as fraught with fertility issues as you have been in the past? Just a thought and plenty of time in the future for all of those decisions.
Thinking of you x
23/09/2014 at 10:05
23/09/2014 at 12:04
Oh no, WooH. I've posted this in your May Birth Club thread, too. My heart sank when I read your post this morning. We're all so sorry to hear your news.
We wish you so much love and strength in the days ahead.
And we hope that everyone else here can give you as much support and understanding as you've shown to others over the past year or so. We know how much of a rock of understanding you've been to so many others - now's our chance to repay you. We hope that's some small comfort to you.
23/09/2014 at 16:51
Thank you very much for your messages, SW2, peeweesmum, Helen and LH. I really do appreciate your supportive words more than I'm sure I'll actually be able to put into words myself.
I'm extremely lucky in that I'm in a group of BabyExpert ladies, who I got to know when I first joined in August 2013. They've been an absolute rock already, and I know that even when I spout absolute crap in pure anger, they take it all with a pinch of salt.
Today, I'm not as teary. It's horrible because I don't feel pregnant so much today, despite having the same symptoms as the last 5 weeks. I've been wracking my brain to see if there was any sign of things going wrong, but other than the fact I wasn't quite as tired as I had been and my afternoon nausea had lessened, everything else was the same; boob ache, headache, hungry. I have been less bloated the last week but just thought that was normal. I've been getting the same stretchy feeling in my abdomen as I have since I found out I was expecting, even today, but now I'm expecting the worst every time I feel it.
I'm off work for at least the week - until my scan on Monday. I'm a teacher so it's not that easy to get to the toilet if I've a classroom of kids, plus I'm really not in the frame of mind to deal with some of the awful behaviour we get (I work in a tough area). I've had some lovely messages from the people that did know about my pregnancy at work, so that's helped. I'm being utterly selfish and refusing phone calls and I AM NOT having anyone coming round to see me - this is MY time to be sad and upset and look like death and I'm not apologising to anyone for it. If they turn up (which some of my family are likely to...), they're not coming in. It sounds horrible, but I just want time to process it all, to get my head round it alone and with my husband without having to articulate to others, feeling like I need to protect them from how I'm really feeling or how angry I am. It does sound nasty, but it's my husband and I's time.
I really appreciate you sharing your experiences of your miscarriages, although I was sorry to hear about them, SW2 and peeweesmum. That's what I'm terrified about - as if losing a baby isn't enough to have to pass it with the pain...seems somewhat barbaric. I can't remember exactly but it seems my little nugget was measuring about 6 weeks when he/she should've been over 7, so I really, really hope I don't see anything specific, although she did say my womb lining was very, very thick, so it could take a while. I just don't want to see any foetus-like stuff...thinking I might just sit on the loo all day... I don't mind so much even the bleeding, so long as it's not painful to the extent that yours was SW2, what a terrible experience for you, I'm so sorry
Peeweesmum, in relation to the Puregon injections, they did work perfectly, so I was so much happier using those than Clomid which was just awful, haha! She said yesterday to have one cycle then start injections again, but I don't ovulate, so therefore don't get periods unless they're after fertility injections/tablets, so it could be a long, long wait. The worst I had was a 9 week wait, which just felt like forever. I'm trying not to think more than a few days ahead, but trying to think optimistically at the same time.
It's all a bit rubbish, really! Although today, I did have pizza and coke for breakfast, so at least the day started on a positive. xx
23/09/2014 at 23:52
24/09/2014 at 02:32
25/09/2014 at 14:23
I agree with all that's been said above.... although there never was a baby with me, I passed (sorry if it's TMI) what I would describe as a tampon-sized piece of tissue. And I had a good look at it - not sure why now thinking back. But there was nothing recognisable there.
I really really hope that you get some sort of cycle soon-ish. Having said that it's probably best to get your head around this first and then start again.
In the meantime keeping eating pizza for breakfast
Got my fingers crossed that everything works out for you in the future x
07/10/2014 at 04:53
I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. I've only just joined this forum, but have just finished miscarrying and it is still so raw. Really hope you find some strength and recover quickly xxxxx
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