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Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
02/10/2012 at 13:29
Hi i am new to this site and thought it maybe helpful for me and others who have sadly gone through a silent miscarriage. I had ivf treatment and all was going well had a scan at eight weeks and there was our tiny baby on screen with a very strong heartbeat. We were a little bit worried as the baby only measured 7 weeks 2 days but the nurse was not concerened as it was very early and hard to make it out properly on the screen. We went away very happy but i was a tad nervous as it was our first pregnancy. I had got all the good signs, tender breasts and morning sickness and my belly had started to grow, i had a lovely warm feeling inside aswell. At 9 weeks 3 days that evening i had a strange dream about my midwife coming and doing an internal test to hear the baby's heart beat. She was using strange tools and it was all done in my spare room. As she was examining i said be careful you are going to far and as i said it in my dream i woke up suddenly with an eletric shock feeling in my stomach. I was scared but as i had the dream and only felt the pain for a few seconds i went back to sleep only to have the same dream again with the same feeling. In the morning i kept thinking about it but was not in pain and had no bleeding. Speaking to everyone about it they said it was common to have very strange dreams and don't worry as it will only stress the baby out. I tried to put it to the back of my mind and slowly i felt better about everything and got more morning sickness and really felt pregnant. Then what should have been the best day arrived, our 12 week scan i thought i was 11 weeks 4 days. We went in the room got the gel on the stomach and silently waited for those words look at the screen there is your little on. Instead those words never came we got i am sorry but i can't find a heartbeat. I totally freaked out it was like i was in a dream or it was a film this could not be happening to us right now?! Our little one had passed away two weeks ago right about the time i had the horrible dream. I felt guilty that i had done nothing even though nothing could have been done for our little one. We decided to have the op done to remove it as it had already been clinging on for two weeks and just wanted our baby to be at rest. It has been the worst time of our lives but are so greatful for the joy our baby gave us for this short time. We will never give up on the dream and our first baby will never be forgot. Has anyone else been through this and had a dream or eletric shock feeling? Here if you need to chat.
02/10/2012 at 19:07
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss - any loss is painful and emtionally draining, so I hope you have plenty of support around you. Remember to be kind to yourself and take time to grieve your loss.
Whilst I have not gone through ivf, I have had five losses and with my third, I had a vivid dream in which I dreamt I was told at the scan that the baby had died and that I was told the size it had grown to. I woke up crying. A few days later, I went for my scan and it was my dream in slow motion - even down to the exact size the little one had grown to. I believe we have special connections with our litttle beans so yes, believe it is possible you knew your body.
Please take care and let us know how you are keeping.
03/10/2012 at 15:54
Thank you for the reply and sorry for your losses i can not imagine going through this all over again. That is the only thing that worries me as i know at the moment it is all still very raw i wont be able to relax and enjoy a pregnancy like i had dreamed of. I am sure in time it will get easier and every pregnancy is different. I too believe that the dream i had was our little one saying goodbye in it's own little way and we are so proud of how brave it was. Our little one will never be forgotten, will always be in our hearts and will always be looking down on us as our guardian angel.
I am very lucky to have lots of love and support around and we have said that we should always say how we are feeling each day and not to worry if you think it will pull the other person down as being open, honest and talking about it will be the easiest way to get through it and my partner can always make me smile even if i am balling my eyes out.
Take care and keep in touch.
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