Hi ladies,
Hope you are all well.
I was told last week after scans and bleeding to go home and expect to mc, Myself and OH are on holidays this week and were told to cancel our planned holiday due to the risk of it happening when away.
I have been bleeding for 10 days now but it is stopping and starting and going from brown to bright red (sorry TMI!). I have cramps now and then too. It's really confusing as we have all of this info from the hospital about what to expect but I still don't know what to do. As I feel physically fine I would love to be out and about passing time but am petrified I will be caught short and it will start and we won't be home quick enough. I know every mc is different but I was just wondering if any of you ladies could advise about whether we should be out and about or continuing to sit and wait??? It's such a nightmare as we have no idea what to expect and are both pretty scared.
Thanks xxxxx

I dont think I can help much but didnt want you to feel ignored. My mc was quick, like a v. heavy af with clots and lots of blood. But I went back to work as I needed to be busy and Just changed my pads regularly. I had v. bad cramps but that was the only thing I really had to contend with that made things difficult.

Try not to put your life completely on hold as you will end up feeling like you are waiting for an eternity.

I hope things begin to sort themselves out for you soon and you begin to feel 'normal' again. Sorry for what has happened. It's awful and so very unfair.

Gemma xxx

Hi, i hope you are coping ok. If its any help, i had Mc 2 weeks ago. It was a MMC and when i started bleeding it was brown, that lasted about a day or so, with the occasional cramps. It then changed colour and I started having real pain, like contractions which worsened over 6 or 7 hours, with bleeding getting a bit heavier, just like an AF. I was so paniky i went to see the EPU and while i was there my bleeding got really heavy, just like a sudden flood. It was like a tap had been turned on. I went to loo to change and felt the lumps come away. After that the cramps stopped and bleeding want back to a normal AF.

Sorry for TMI, but i know what its like to be really scared and not know what to do, or what to expect. If you are really worried phone EPU and ask to be seen. All they did when i went was scan me but at least i knew then everything was on its way out.

I hope im not scaring you, i was petrified to mc myself. I had erpc after my first MMC and was waiting to have that again, but to be honest it was so quick it was ok really

Only you can decide if you feel up to be out and about. I carried on pretty much as normal, (i have to with 2 toddlers) but i stayed in for a few days while bleeding etc.

I am thinking about you, feel free to post or email if i can help any more

Gemm x

Thanks girls - that was so helpful and I feel much better prepared for what's to come.
One quick question and it's going to be TMI so turn away now if you're feeling squeamish - last night I had cramps - similar to AF- and the bleeding became much heavier (about same as normal AF flow) for a few hours.
When I went to the bathroom I passed a big, long clot (it was horrible) much bigger than anything I've ever had before during a normal AF.
Since then bleeding has pretty much stopped and cramps are gone!!! Had some more small clots when wiping (sorry TMI again!!!!). Now I have no idea if this means that I have mc'd or just part mc'd or what. Do you think I should sit tight and see what happens? M follow up appt with the EPU is in 8 days. Do you think I should phone them to try to bring it forward or is it impossible that I could have mc'd with so little pain and bleeding?
Sorry for the questions. I don't want to be bringing it all back to you all but I have no-one else to ask.
Hope you're all well today.
xx

This sounds exactly like mine. I began bleeding on the Sat morning. Sat night I passed a long largish clot after a whole day of pain. Pain disappeared and, at scan on Sunday, was told all had been passed bar a few clots that I would also pass in time. I stopped bleeding 5 days later. I know all mc's are different but yours does sound similar to mine.

Hope you are feeling ok. Big hugs xxx

Thanks Gemmie. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me. I thought that it was all over but pains have started in a major way over the last couple of hours - enough to take strong painkillers and I'm bleeding heavily again, so obviously it's not all over and done with yet!
I'm just relaxing on the sofa and feel quite calm - almost relieved that it will all be over soon as I started to have problems over 2 weeks ago now. It sounds horrible but I feel like I've grieved for this baby so much already and I feel really guilty that I want this mc to be over but a part of me wants to be free to move on and try again.
I never thought I'd think that about my own baby but at this stage I have cried soooo much that I am worn out. xxxx.

Dont feel bad about feeling that way. Knowing for 2 weeks with nothing happening is torture and you must be so tired. You are not thinking that about your baby, just the inevitable and horrid situation you are in. You were slightly further along than me so may experience more than I did. I believe we were due on the same day? I had my mc 2 1/2 weeks ago.

I was so glad to be able to move on. It doesnt mean I didnt grieve because I did, believe me, but I just knew it was going to happen and was ready for things to be over so I could get back to normal. It sounds awful but I needed the positivity as I think I wouldve crumbled.

I hope things get a little easier for you and you feel a little better soon, if physically. Mentally may take more time. Give yourself time to grieve but please try no to feel guilty. It's a pointless emotion. Hugs xxx

MrsDAO - just wondering how you are feeling today? Thinking of you xxx

Hi Gemmie and thanks for thinking of me!
Well I think it's all over now. I had a really long night of bleeding and cramping and passing tissue - it was surreal - I stayed really calm and didn't get too emotional at all as I had been waiting for it to happen for so long!
I feel ok today just very tired and very sore. I phoned the EPU and they told me I have to wait until the bleeding has stopped for 2 full days before phoning for a follow up scan to check there is nothing left. I am bleeding heavily still - how ling did your bleeding last?
So that's it all over with now. I am really sad for the loss of the baby but feel quite delighted that the gory bit is almost over and that we can get our lives back on track after this horrible waiting game of the last 2 weeks!
Thanks a million for all of your support - you've been brilliant and your advice and honesty about your own experience has really helped me through this. We were due on the same day in Sept and I hope that we get the chance to share more GOOD news again in the near future!!! Hope you are doing well and keeping your PMA up?.xxxx

Hi MrsDAO,
Sorry to hear you had to go through this. It must be really tough being at home having to deal with it. I found a hot water bottle really helped with the cramping. Make sure you have lots of TLC and have a rest. Sending you a ((hug)).
Lilou xx

That was a 'lovely' post that made me smile. Of course im thinking of you. I was actually quite worried about you last night as I know this has been so difficult for you. I bled for 5 days heavily then it tailed off. I hope you dont feel too mentally battered. Im happy to see you say that you feel good that the horrid part is over as I was very worried about how you were concerned about how you were feeling mentally.

Im fine. Im not sure how I will feel when ive had first af as I havent really had to deal with the 'not pregnant' feeling, other than the mc. I hope that makes sense. I almost feel like 1st af will cement it all in my head.

Hopefully we will be heading for our BFP's together but in the meantime im glad that we have been a major source of help to eachother, as well as others on here who have been very supportive.

Hope things start to ease off soon and things can get as back to normal as they can.

Gemma xxx

Hello again ladies and thanks for your posts.
I am feeling much better now and Lilou, you're right, a hot water bottle has been attached to my tummy for 24 hours now and has made me feel a lot better!
Lilou, I just read your other post and I really empathise with the feeling of helplessness and isolation you're experiencing. I know it's a cliche but it is so important to remember that there is nothing you could have done to save either of your little beans. I think that the feeling of helplessness and lack of control we have over these events is the hardest thing for women like us. We all obviously really want a baby and are all willing to do whatever it takes to have one so having so little control over it is a real strain and I personally have struggled with that over the last few weeks. Just keep venting and writing it all down if it helps - I know I will. xx
Gemma, when I phoned the EPU they told me that this bleeding would be quite different to AF and I hadn't expected that really. I think you're right, the first one will be horrible as it will bring the ???????not pg??????? part home. How is your PMA going as far as trying again? x

Many people said 'wait to try again' and 'you should wait one cycle'. I really didnt want to as I wanted to feel I was doing something to try and rectify this awful situation. When I asked why I should wait, whether there was any medical reason, I was told it was mainly for dating and my own mental health. When I explained that I thought waiting would be detrimental to my mental health I was given the go ahead and have been trying since. I still havent been checking ov or dating or anything like that and I dont think we have done it this month but Ill keep going. Just hope things aren't too tricky this time. Good to hear that you are feeling better. Keep talking. I have posted much more since my mc than I ever did before it!!!

Gemma xxx