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Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
10/05/2014 at 00:28
Hello All, I am unfortunately sad to be joining this side of the chat forum, I found out I was pregnant on 4 April 2014 and as far as I was aware all was going well and to plan. Saw my doctor on 22 April 2014 and she referred me to midwives. Unfortunately I became unwell on 26 April 2014, fever, headaches, sore throat and back and stomach pain, pharmacy refused to give me anything and told me to phone NHS 24 which I did and they booked me in to see out of hours GP. I ended up being admitted to hospital with suspected ectopic pregnancy I became increasingly unwell during the night and had to be given painkillers and medication. I was monitoried every hour as my blood pressure, tempature and pulse was high and I was to be scanned in the morning. At this point I thought there would be nothing wrong with the baby and I was just unwell. I should have been 7 weeks at this point. My hormones were high and I was still testing positive for being pregnant but when I had the scan the sac was there but they could not see a baby. The suggested the dates could have been out, OH and I had had sex 5 weeks prior also. I was given 3 different opinons one there was no hope, one that it was 50/50 and the other that my hormones and sac was 5 weeks and therefore it could all be alright, I was in hospital for another night was I was so ill and discharged to come back a week later. I had to be signed off my work as I was still so ill. Anyway this Monday 5 May came and I went for another scan which confirmed that despite suppose to be 9 weeks there was still no sign of a baby. Despite this hormones continued to be high, i continued to experiencing pregnancy symptoms and my bump has continued to grow. We were devastated totally knocked for six. I was asked what I wanted to do and elected surgery and as soon as possible. I went in for surgery on 7 May 2014 and it was a totally horrendous experience. I was to be at hospital by 10:20 to fill in paperwork with pregnancy support. When I got there I was made to wait in the waiting room with lots of heavily pregnant ladies waiting for their scans or to go to labour ward. I just sat there sobbing, I was eventually taken into the room and we just sat in shock as they asked lots of questions and took bloods, my weight and height. I was told it was just one of those things, an anomaly, unlikely to happen again and to wait for one period then I could try again, I had no response to this as I was in shock at it all. I was taken to day surgery where I thought I would be taken onto a ward but I wasn't. I was made to sit in a waiting room with lots of people who were waiting for different surgeries. I was last on the list to go in for surgery. I was given a tablet to soften my cervix and was told id been in pain and it may make me feel sick, but I had to wait in this big waiting room while it worked. I never got take for surgery until nearly 5pm. They just kept talking about "the procedure" without really any acknowledgment that I had lost my baby and may be distraught, I started crying when I was being prepped for anaesthetic and they asked if I was scared I said yes but also that I was really sad. I was told this was just a blip and I could try again. I was told it would only take 20 minutes, that it would be quick and the pain would be similar to a bad period, oh how wrong they were. When they woke me from anaesthetic I was almost screaming in pain, I felt like my insides had been ripped out and was almost tachicardiac as I was so distressed. I ended up receiving a lot of pain medication being on oxygen and having to be kept in when I should have been discharged. I was told usually the surgery would take 3 minutes but mine took 12 as it was harder to do and that I was in pain while I was under anaestetic,They kept apologising to me but I can't remember much about recovery. I tried to ask questions i.e what di
10/05/2014 at 00:30
what did they find, how far along was I. I was told gynaecology would come and speak to me and so would the doctor. Gynaecology phoned along and as they said I was physically fine, no one came to see me. I was on a shared ward with others who had a variety of surgeries. I woke covered in blood and was not allowed a shower even in the morning, I was given no mental support with regards to my ordeal but i cannot fault the support they gave for my physical care. I was really distraught and the Nurse who discharged me asked someone from gynaecology to come and see me, i had to wait almost 2 hours after being discharged for someone to come and see me and they couldn't answer my questions such as will i get the results from pathology, how far along was I. I have been referred back to pregnancy support. I have found the whole thing so traumatic and would not get surgery if i ever had another miscarriage. I am in pain both physically and emotionally and I was not prepared for the lack of support afterwards. Is this normal, is this what happens elsewhere?
I also find that I am sick of hearing, it wasn't really a baby why do they keep discussing that as it wasn't a baby why aren't they focusing on your health. Or you can just try again in a month, its just a blip just try again, I know so people don't know what to say but i still feel its hurtful. It was a baby to me and I am struggling with the loss of what was to be. I still have my bump i hope it goes soon as i just cant handle it. Has anyone else had similar experiences.
10/05/2014 at 07:28
Butterfly im so sad to read this & so sorry for your loss. There are many of us on here who understand the pain of losing a child (& yes... You are absolutely right...It was a loss of a child... Not 'pregnancy tissue' as one of my docs referred to it as!!).
i dont want to burden you with my story but just know that I & many others of us really do understand and are here to support you as best we can.
take each day one at a time, rest, eat, TALK about how you are feeling physically & emotionally. Allow yourself to grieve, to be angry at this for happening, & to remember your little bean for the miracle it was For the short time it was with you.
if there's anything I can do... Just shout!
10/05/2014 at 09:55
SW2 thank you so much for your reply it means a lot, Yes I got that pregnancy tissue and in my notes they called it "products of conception". I just think its so heartless. I feel I've been made to feel stupid for being so upset and sad and shocked.That I should just move on despite only finding out on Monday and having surgery on Wednesday. Its nice to hear some reassurance that it is okay to be upset and that it was the loss of a child, once I expected to be hear at Christmas time. Thank you again for your kind words it means a lot
10/05/2014 at 16:45
Absolutely hunny... Any time x
12/05/2014 at 17:12
i feel your pain huni, i went through this twice last year! and each time they reffered to it as tissue and not a baby which hurt as i had early scans and saw baby with a heart beat.
recovery does take time, i was fairly lucky and bleeding stopped with in a week, i never ever got any answers for why my little babies died, i know i could keep fighting to find out why but i just was getting no were.
i know its hard babes, i went in december 23rd to be told my baby had died and was in on december 24th having him/her taken away from me, i was a bit like you when waking up from the opp but i was 2nd on the list so by 4pm they were kicking me out of the hospital bed, i was sent home and told to pop some pain killers and it would all be ok just like having a heavy period, i think they need to retrain the way they handle this, i felt it very cold and heartless they had trouble putting me under i was screaming in pain and now i have scars on my hands where they wouldnt give up, for me this is a constant reminder of what has happened to me xxx
12/05/2014 at 19:12
So sorry to hear your news bun , so glad you came on here for support , it was my lifeline when I suffered 2 mmc's the ladies on here are brilliant , I know it's not much consolation to you at the moment but you aren't alone , it helps to talk , scream , cry , whatever , take all the time you need to recover , sending you a big hug n lots of understanding , we are here anytime you need someone to talk to x x
12/05/2014 at 22:42
Hi Sarah Rowland 2, im so sorry for your losses and your experience also sounds absolutely horrendous. Im sure it will be difficult for you Christmas time this year given your experience. Although hopefully your little bundle of joy will help in some way to cope with the loss. They definetly need to change their practice of what they do, the pain is unbelieveable and I am still in pain with my stomach, everytime I lean forward to get up. Ive also got the mark from the canula on my hand as he struggled to get it in. I think its difficult either way being kicked out or kept in. I was surprised they kicked people out and that there is no follow up at all, once you leave your just expected to get on with it. I met with pregnancy support to discuss what happened today and they are going to review some of their policies and procedures and are going to investigate some of the things I said. Im glad I had the chance to go back and discuss things as I feel it helped. Thank you for sharing your story it must be difficult thinking of it again.
Thank you Evemum24 that's really kind and thank you for sharing. Its good to know there is somewhere to go as I felt that there was no one to talk to and no one wants to visit when this happens as they don't know what to say. Im going back to work tomorrow, im really nervous as ive never been out all day and im still in pain but mentally I feel I have to go back. Thank you for your support means a lot. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy the end appears fast approaching. Are you all prepared. Must be really exciting.
14/05/2014 at 22:14
16/05/2014 at 21:17
Hi BiancaTTC, thank you and sorry for your loss. That's awful they lost your notes and didn't even know why you had been there. I spoke to them about the need to change their procedures as the whole thing is just awful and actually makes it worse. I'm hoping it gets better, I think its just hitting me, I rushed back to work this week on Tuesday thinking it would help, but im exhausted, so tired and becoming increasingly emotional. Good luck with your journey and I really hope you have a sticky bean in the near future. x
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