Hiya guys - thanks for all the kind messages last week - what a week it was!
Well anyway since beginning to bleed on the Thursday night it didn't get much worse and I went in on Friday evening as planned. They did scan me on Saturday am to check if I still needed the ERPC, which I did so that was done on Saturday morning and I was home by 4pm Saturday afternoon. There was quite a bit of bleeding on Saturday but by the time I was home it had settled.
After catching up with sleep over the weekend I went back to work today and have been fine, bleeding is only like a period.

Just now adjusting to the idea - not overly emotional - I think I did all the crying I possibly could last week - but little things just remind me, i.e I had ordered a lovely book from the book club in our staff room at work as one of bubs first books- but then had to cross my name off the order form. Didn't feel right to get it as although I'm hopeful of having a healthy pregnacny in the future it felt wrong getting the book and keeping it for a future baby IYSWIM as that book was meant for the baby I just lost. My next baby will have its own special book chosen for it.
What was also upsetting was the book was called 'A special star' which in retrospect without knowing at the time that was what my baby has become.

In fact maybe I will get the book in the future and read it to a future baby, with a special memory behind it.

Anyway sorry I'm waffling on!

Hope you are all ok
Take care
Sue x

Hi Sparkles,

I've been on hols for a week but have been wondering how you got on, glad everything went ok with the ERPC and it didn't happen before the op.

How are you getting on at work? Am surprised they let you back, I was signed off for 2 weeks afterwards. Hope you are coping and they are responding how you want them to. I'd told mine not to mension it and just be "normal" with me but know everyone has their own way of dealing with things.

It must have been hard with the book, I think you did the right thing. I felt the same as you, my mmc was at 14 weeks so I'd started buying a few bits, in my time off after ERPC, I took them all back, it was really hard being in the shops seeing the prams we'd tried out etc, but I had to get rid of the stuff. Any gifts I had I've kept as they were just bought for a baby, but I couldn't keeo things I'd chosen for that baby you know?

It will be great to just start afresh next time when we are pregnant and buy things for the new baby!

Oh its just so sad isn't it?

It will be 8 weeks on Thurs since I found out and I still get sad. When I was preg we booked a hol to cornwall but after what happened, we cancelled and booked to go to egypt. We went last week and on the first day, DH said "well, this is better than cornwall" and my first thought was "but I would have been pregnant in cornwall" and just burst into tears!! We had the most wonderful holiday but I couldn't help thinking about what would be happening in the parallel universe of our hol in cornwall.

I'm waffeling now too!!

Hope you're ok and looking after yourself, take care xxxx

hi Sparkles, hope your okay.. I know how difficult a time you must be having. has the ERPC given you closure? I had a MMC but the miscarriage was spontaneous in the end so I had time to prepare my mind that baby was leaving me even now I feel sad at 3 weeks on.

hope your okay and we are here if you need to chat.

Hiya ladies- thanks for the reply - I'm doing ok. Amber I understand totally what you mean by the pararrel universe - We are in the process of selling and moving house and even though I still am desperate to move house it doesn't have the same excitement as the 3rd bedroom was for the baby that I no longer have. I think the bleeding and spotting has just about stopped - although I thought that about 5 days ago then it came back again the next day! I got a BFP when I checked on Saturday 1 week after the ERPC so waiting for BFN before ttc again. Hope it comes soon! Still undecided about whether to wait for Af before ttc or not - although I think I've come to the conclusion that if my body is ready I will get BFP and if my body isn't ready for it I won't.
Work is fine and to be honest I'm so busy when I'm at work (a primary school teacher) with all the 4 yrs olds that I don't get much time to dwell on things.
Hope you are all doing okay - lets hope we have some more World cup BFP's following Englands win earlier xx

Glad the op went well, you will probably feel numb for a while to be honest. It's a long process. Even though you're back at work if you feel the need to take days off you should. Just look after yourself hun

I'm sure a new BFP is round the corner xxxxxxxxx

Hi sparkles,
Like you I am now back at work. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since my ERPC which I think has gone really quickly.
Was wondering if you have had your BFN yet? I had mine a week ago and have no bleeding or spotting since, justing waiting for AF now although me and hubby have still been having sex quite regulary. I have decided to just carry on the way I was before I got pregnant and just let nature take its course. I have decided what will be will be
Take care

Shelley x

Sheelley- glad you got your BFN - I'm going to test again tomorrow morning- which will be a week on from last test and two weeks on from ERPC- so fingers crossed. I haven't bothered testing daily as it would cost too much! Hope your Af is on its way - but like you I'm going to let nature take its course as to whether I get BFP within the next month or not