Be honest I won't be offended.

Oh wants to go visit his Mum with Rhys for a few days as she's hardly seen him since he was born, however he's hoping to get some work in the nxt couple weeks so he wants to go this week, which means I won't be able to go as I'm looking after my sister whilst my parnts are at work. I don't want oh to take Rhys on own as the longest I have gone without seeing him is a few hours n I don't want to be withput him for a few days. Oh thinks I'm just bein awkward n out of order for saying I don't want Rhys to go with him.

He was moaning that his Mum hardly gets to see him, which I think is her fault for not making the effort. They are loaded n we're really struggling for money n although it's not an awful lot the ??20 worth of petrol we use on the trip would buy Rhys's things for the week. She has been down here to see Rhys in the 1st week he was born. She's travelled up here on about 2-3 other occaisions when she's been visiting her Mum or her other son has a basketball game n we have arranged to meet her. Just think if she was that bothered about him she'd make more of an effort to come here instead of us going to her all the time.

oops turned into bit of a moan but basically do you think I'm wrong in not wanting oh to take Rhys without me?

I can understand you not wanting to be away from Lo for so long. I would feel exactly the same. All you can do is assure your Oh it's not out of spite for your Mil but love for your Lo that's making you reluctant to go ahead with the plan. Ask your Oh if he can think of some compromise that could suit you all... put's the ball back in his court!

I try not to let him know it bothers me her not visiting after all it's not his fault, I suggested we go up weekend (not conviniant for his mum) or wait til next week when my dad's off with sis but he thinks he may have some work nxt week so he doesn't want go then.

He says he wants some time just him n Rhys which is fair enough I understand that. Hopefully we'll talk prop tomo n he'll understand n hopefully come to some sort of compromise x

To me it sounds like she isn't really bothered whether she sees her grandson or not. I think this is more about your OH spending time with baby and taking advantage of a bad situation - him being off work. Why bother spending the money going up to see her when she can't be bothered to put the effort into see you, you are really feeling the pinch with money and she could so much easily afford to make the trip to you (not to mention it would be nice of her to help you out in difficult curcumstances - I know both my family and OH family would).

Maybe you could ask him to suggest to his Mum a date that she could come a visit and he could plan something locally with just the 2 of them (park / feed the ducks etc) and you can have some girly time with your little sis doing something that you couldn't if Rhys was around.

El x

I really dont blame you for feeling that way, when Mark went to pick up his sisters to visit us for a weekend (they r in London like 130 miles away!) he wanted to take Ryan. NO WAY! i was not going to let that happen!
as far as im concerned he needs me! im his mum i couldnt bare to be away from him.
as the others said if she was bothered she would make more effort and being a mother you would think she would understand why you arent happy with the idea.

xx

I would feel exactly the same of my hubby wanted to take Bren off for a few days. He took him out for a walk for an hour yesterday while I got some jobs done and it felt so weird him not being around!

I have hardly been apart from Brendan since the day he was born, we have only been out in the evening without him on two occassions as we usually don't have anyone to babysit. As a result I think I am more clingy to Brendan than he is to me! I have so far even managed to make excuses when we see my mil so she can't take him out in the pushchair on her own! The other reason for that is that my sil told me she took her 4 week old for a walk in the pram and was gone for 3 hours!!

I think I would try to explain you to your hubby how you feel, so much of your day revolves around your lo that when they aren't there it leaves a massive hole. Couldn't your mil come over to you for a few days instead? I would have thought that would be the best compromise, that way they can go out for the day together and you can do things with your siste, but you will know they aren't so far away if they need you.

I think my biggest concern would be what if something happens and I'm not there? So if they are close by it isn't as bad as you know you can be with them if you need to be pretty quickly.

Another thing I would be concerned about is does your oh know what to do to look after him? My hubby hardly ever makes Brens bottles up, I have to remind him its bathtime, and I am sure Bren would be on all kinds of rubbish if I left weaning up to him!!

Hope that ramble makes sense lol!

Good luck with it, hope you get it sorted soon.xx

ok i totally understand what your saying BUT i would say it depends what your blokes like and especially with your lo!

my hubby does bottles, bath, feeds him, gets him ready for bed etc... so i wouldnt think twice about him having him!

on a couple of occasions recently he's taking him off for day to the zoo with friends and his lo and to a friends to play in garden etc... i am going on hen do in couple of weeks and he'll have him for weekend and i know he'll be fine!

a few evenings ive gone to the 24hour tescos to do food shop so he gets home and i litrally go and he bottles, feeds, baths puts him to bed etc...

ok im going on now and sound like im boasting - thats not what i meant to do what im meaning is that if your boke doesnt do these things reguraly then i wouldnt let him go, also its not like an afternoon out to test things its a few days away - would of been better if he'd done a few days on own and a evening then youd trust him a bit more!!!

sorry ramble - i agree with the others about arranging a different date that she can come over at a weekend when shes not too busy lol!

then let them go out on own with lo but it'll only be local and your not far away!!!

Am glad I'm not the only clingy mum.

At the minute the only way she can properly spend time with Rhys (as in more than a few hours) is to go and stay at hers as we don't have our own place (even if we did though there wouldn't be room for them all to stay as she has 2 younger children 10 and 14 so they would be coming too). So I don't mind going to stay as also means a few days off cooking cleaning etc. but I just wish she'd make more of an effort to visit for an afternoon every so often too.

Oh is good with Rhys n as he's been at home the last month he knows his routine pretty well and has been doing a lot more to help out with him.

But anyway I think we may all be able to go down now anyway as my Dad's off work Wed n my Mum's taking Thursday off so we could go Tues afternoon to Thursday, but my Mum's also said she'll see if my Nanna can have Lib on the friday too.

oh thats sounds good - and like you said if you can all go together then no cooking and cleaning you can relax for few days!

hope that works out - be nice if weather stays nice!!!

xx