As most of you know I am desperate to have a little brother or sister for Holly to play with but my oh and I have spoken about it and decided to wait until we leave Ireland. However in the last few days we have been talking about it again and now he thinks we should just go for it and have a small age gap between them which is all very well in theory. Im now not sure its practically a great idea because I would have to move back to the UK so I would get health care (no way could we afford it over here) and Id have to fly backwards and forwards all the time for midwife ect, Id have to stay in UK from 34 wks and then oh would have to come over and have his paternity leave sorted ect. I would then have to live in Uk until baby had had jabs as I wouldnt be allowed (1 adult to 1 child) to fly home with Holly and baby myself. My oh and I would never see each other and don't think its fair to stay with relatives whilst in the Uk its such a difficult thing to decide on because we would both love a baby but it just isn't practical. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it because when I tell people I would love another they just dismis it and tell me Im silly.
I really don't know what to do for the best my head says wait and my heart says go for it. I guess this will be one time my head rules though.

Sometimes the practicalitys have to win and I think that you are probably already resigned to the fact that this might be one of those times. With all that tooing and froing, I'd be so worried about you and the baby. It's hard enough being pregnant without all that extra pressure. Only you can decide (Well, you and OH!!) You'll get lots of support from all of us here, whatever your decision XXX

i think youve sort of answered your own question!!! that sounds like a lot of stress for all 3/4 of you and thats soooo not what you need pregnant and then again with a tiny baby and mini toddler!!!

although if you want it soooo badley then go for it but it may be more special waiting and doing it when you are both in uk, no travelling you'll be more setteled and your oh will be around!!!

xx

Hi Amy,

Well I don't want to be a bad influence and try and encourage you but I would look into it a bit more before you make your mind up. Are you sure you would have to pay for treatment out there if you were pregnant? If so couldn't you claim it back from the NHS?
I got all my maternity stuff for free out here but for normal illness I would have to pay something like the first ??100 and then the state pays for the rest. Apparantly I could still claim costs back from the NHS if I needed to but as we plan to stay out here I don't really think that is fair of us.In your case though if you are planning on going back to the UK then I don't see why you shouldn't be entitled to it.

As you know hubby and I are about to start ttc number two so I am a little biased but I do think a small age gap will be nice even if it is hard work to start off with! We're trying to time ours so it is due when my hubby is on his summer break from school but I am getting a tad worried as I am 2 days late at the mo! We weren't actually supposed to be trying this month but had a night of indiscretion when I am certain I was way past ovulation! I am sure my af is on its way but I'm quite pleased that I'm not freaking out as it must mean I am def ready!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

xx

Thanks for the advice I so probably deep down know we should wait but Im sooo broody lol

Liz we aren't entitled to anything over here and Im not sure why! My oh earns something like 10 euros a week too much for us to be entitled to any help with heath care. However going private is 150 euros a month but you still have to pay for certain things. Im not sure if I would get maternity stuff over here and how much it would cost but tbh Im not sure how good the care would be. Ive had a look on the Uk government website and the Irish but neither is clear to what we are entitled, because we don't LIVE in the UK we are not entitled to an e111 or whatever it is now so therefor not entitled to care over here. Its all so confusing!
Is there like an NHS in Norway? I hurt my ankle the other week and didn;t go get it seen because I didnt think we could afford it, it was 66 euro just to go to casulty and then you pay for xray, then treatment ect and there isn't like a prescription charge you pay for the medicine.

Hi,

Not sure how helpful it is but I found this site http://www.jobsearch.ie/applicants/medical.htm

Sounds like you have a bit of a similar system over there to us in that if we see our GP or emergency doctor there is a charge (around ??20). But there is a cap on how much you pay for the same illness/treatment so once the cost is around ??100 you get the rest paid for. It is similar to the UK here though when it comes to maternity and everything is free while you are pregnant and the post pregnancy care (6 week check) is free too. Childrens healthcare is also free as this is run by a state system they have.

How long are you going to be living in Ireland? Would it be worth taking out some health insurance? Sounds like you get some tax relief if you have it so may be worth looking into.
I have an NHS card that I got online, I think it is the equiv of the E111 now. I've never used it out here but I have been told by a couple of English people that live out here that I could use it and claim the cost of treatment back from the UK.

Hope your foot is ok! x

Thanks liz,
Its all so bloody confusing because going by that we are entitled to SOME things but when I speak to anyone like the health board and health insurance they say that Darren earns to much and we aren't entitled to anything. We have been to our local citizens information who also say we aer entitled to nothing. See that website also says its 45 euro to go to a&e but its 66, and then we were told we would have to pay for each treatment.

We do get some tax relief but not a lot, the cost of living out here is truely shocking is it the same in Norway? We are deffo going to have to take out private health insurance, we are not sure how long we are gonna be over here no more than 2 years (or Holly and I go back to Scotland ourselves!!)

Forgot to say last time good luck with the ttc and I hope you get your timings right you must be soooo excited!! xxx

Thanks! Still no af but I am certain I can't be pregnant yet, if I am it must have been a determined one lol! I have been feeling car sick when out and about the last few days which is what I was like when I fell pregnant with Bren but I just put that down to the fact the back dampers on the car need replacing so it is a bit of a bouncy ride!!

It is very expensive out here too, formula is about double the cost, it is about ??5 a pint of beer, generally in fact you can say the cost of living out here is about double that of the UK. However where we are the house prices are much lower so we only paid about ??80k for our house which is a good size and has a fantastic view of the lake. So that makes a big difference on our monthly costs, plus my hubby is paid more than he would be in the UK.

We have found one of the most frustrating things is how limited you are on choice. For example with baby stuff they don't seem to sell rusks of any kind or any other kind of finger food for babies. When Bren had bad trapped wind I had to get my mum to send out infacol because they don't have it out here and if they did I would have to get it on prescription. The choice of formula is only about 3 brands and the only one of those you get in the UK is Hipp.
They are very strict on alcohol too so you can only buy wine from an off license and they are only open from 10am to 2pm. Everything is closed on a Sunday so you can forget it if you need anything then!

We have found ways round things (like my hubby brews his own beer lol) or discovered places to shop that aren't quite as expensive. I try not to buy any clothes out here, and if I do I travel somewhere there is a H&M as they are similar to UK prices. My mum usually comes out by car in the summer and fills it full of stuff for us, I am just about to run out of the last of the Tesco nappies but I still have 10 boxes of Hipp left lol!!

It must be harder for you because you didn't choose to move there, at least we both decided to come out here and knew how expensive it was before we got here.I hope you get some sensible answers about the healthcare, I know how frustrating it can be when you don't understand.xx

Oh thats a tough decision to make. Sounds like the health care really sucks over there!! in fact..it must if its cheaper for you to fly back and forwards loads! I didn't know you had to have 1 adult per kid when travelling!

Hope you manage to make a decision you are both happy with
xx

god i cant believe how rubbish it is! i just dont get how you are supposed to pay to have a baby in ireland- costs could go through the roof!
so how come you moved there then??? when you move back home will your oh have to find a new job?

xx

god i cant believe how rubbish it is! i just dont get how you are supposed to pay to have a baby in ireland- costs could go through the roof!
so how come you moved there then??? when you move back home will your oh have to find a new job?

xx

god i cant believe how rubbish it is! i just dont get how you are supposed to pay to have a baby in ireland- costs could go through the roof!
so how come you moved there then??? when you move back home will your oh have to find a new job?

xx

Basically we are out here for my oh's work, he was in the RAF but if he had have stayed in he would be away at least 7 months a year, 3 months Iraq and 3 Afgan with a months training somewhere plus all the little 2 weeks detachments. So we decided that he would leave and get a job in civvie street hoping for Spain or France working for airbus but then he got offered a good job in Ireland that would put him through some courses that are reallllyy expensive (5-6k) and normally these courses take 4-5yrs but because of his experience he will be able to do them in 18months-2 yrs max, then when these are done he will have this licence meaning he can work anywhere in the world and will have the potential to earn (a lot) more money. So we decided Ireland was better for our long term future rather than him being in a job that would never get him anywhere. (hope all this is making sence)
However I feel that we were kinda fibbed to because in actual fact WE have to pay for the licences and course work but they will give him the time off for exams (nothing was in writing when he took the job) the money is more than he was getting in RAF but like I keep saying cost of living is hellish.
The way things are going at the moment my oh is still keeping his finger in with all the jobsites ect to see what else is out there and if his dream job comes up we will go for it and move.
To be honest with you all (your some of the very few I can be) sometimes I just want to move back to the UK while he is doing his licences and just fly over for 2 weeks at a time and he can fly over on his 4 days off. I haven't really met any people I would want to socialise with and not because Im a snob or that but there aren't many Bits or Irish where we live and everyone tends to be ignorant and very unfriendly I even had a little girl get told off for talking to that white woman, all she was doing was smiling and looking at Holly.
OMG I dont half go on!! I feel a lot better for writing it all down though, makes things a lot clearer in my mind! If you have got this far thanks for reading if not I don't blame ya LOL xxx

I really feel for you, I know how hard it is to move to another country and it must be especially hard for you because you didn't really want to move in the first place.
It is probably making it even harder for you to make friends because you know (and hope!) it is going to be a short term thing for you so there is little point to go to great lengths to get to know people.

Have you talked to your hubby about how you feel? It sounds like you are both unhappy and will hopefully move again soon to somewhere you can settle down a bit more. What kind of work is he looking for? Has he signed up with agencies to help him find something?

My brother in law is in a similar position to your hubby before he left the RAF. He is in the royal marines and has been in for about 6 years and been to Iraq and Afgan. They have their house and everything through the marines and the salary is good so it is very hard to leave even though he will more than likely be posted away again somewhere within the next 6 months and is always away from home training. They have a 9 week old son so it is very hard for him to be away from home now. He only has another 6 years to do before he has done full service and will get a lump sum and good pension so they have decided to sit it out and hope that in the long term it will all be worth it. Then he hopes to set up his own outdoor pursuits type business, which I guess makes sense.

Do you get accomodation or anything through your hubbies new job? Sounds like they have been pretty sly with you. Do they offer any kind of discounted healthcare via the Company?

Hope you get it all sorted out, sounds like you both have a pretty good idea about what you want though so I am sure you will get there. xx

oh that all makes sense now!

i think i would be thinking what your thinking about the moving back home, i suppose it depends on you pair as a couple! i think initially it would work cause youd be soooo happy being home with friends and family but im sure you and holly will miss him and he'll hate missing out on things with holly!

mmmm big decisions sweetie!!!

xxx

Oh that sounds such a lot of hassle for a pregnant lady and is not something I could personally do (I'm a wuss and don't really like doing things alone!). Hope the stuff Liz found you on her thread is useful as then it sounds like you could go for it! Hope it sorts out. It's bloody stupid, like you're in a different planet, not the next country over the sea!