Find it very hard wen u go anywhere other than being at home??

I only feel 100% comfortable ( ok....maybe that's bit generous.. 90% maybe!) being at home with maddox he knows wat he can and carnt do, he's very good plays really well on his own let's ne fo jobs, is bit clingy but just wants to follow ne wherever I go, he goes down straight away for nap etc .. When I go anywhere like mums, dads, friends houses I'm so on edge cos maddox gets excited and wants everything! He's getting quitegood at mums and also dads house he knows near enough wat he carnt touch but I'm constantly on top of him making sure, it's just I don't want him to be one of those children that terrorises other peoples stuff etc I won't let him go in my bag or have my mob etc cos he knows it's wrong to go in ladies bags etc, I just feel sick with stress if I go anywhere! Yesterday I had a wake at my grandads funeral and the pub was full of people he sat in his buggy all of ten mins once he had got over the initital shock of all the people he wanted to get out and play! He is walking but holding on so he wanted to walk everywhere then crawl on the dirty floor?! People were looking and he wanted to pull curtains etc!Then he wouldn't ho back in and cried do I just went home! Comments were "oh Im tired just watching you ... Oh isn't it hard at this age.." etc etc looks of pity etc he's good tho so it made me feel I was the only one in the world to have an inquisitive energetic 17 month old!! I no it's not naughty he's just very inquisitive, just wondered if anyone else feels the same! Think I'm gonna become a hermit and never go anywhere!! : )

There's do many lovely bfp's I'm thinkin I'm the only one feelin like this! I'm so determined to make him a good boy cos know a few children that are walking nightmares and trash ur house while friends just sit there and go " oh theyl be alright! " I just got a phobia of maddox bein like that with other peoples property and belongings think it's hard also cos he's in between walkin and crawlin stillhalf and half so he isn't confidently walkin off just yet ..

Would be interested to hear your views! I do want another eventually but my
the thought of two energetic rascals near in age makes me feel Id be havin the men in White coats at the door in a week!! Xx

Sorry for the mistakes I'm doin this off my iPhone and findin it very difficult!! The do's and so's and go's etc are all wrong! Damn phone! Xx

i know what you mean, dd is very good when we go out but is just so inquisitive with everything. i am paranoid as the twins are awful when they go anywhere and one will make himself sick if he is not happy or not allowed to do something. they went on holiday when they were the same age as our los and had to come home after 5 days because she had to wash the carseat cover 4 times in 5 days, he even turned and make himself sick all over his brother. whenevery they go to visit someone they scream until they are taken home.

last week she took them for a walk over to her grandfathers and as soon as they got there and she took them out of the buggy they just screamed and screamed and threw themselves on the floor until she put them back in the buggy and took them home. the grandfather was telling us about it on theweekend and he was was saying that 'she couldnt control them nad had to just take them home'.

they went for lunch in a pub last summer and again they were not happy as there was no tv to watch and didnt like the pub so he made himself sick all over the pub, so they went home.

if she stops the shopping trolley they scream and will not stop until they go home.

i am determined thta she will not be like that, we went for lunch yetserday for dh's 30th birthday and she was so good bless her, she sat there for a good hour while we all eat and had lots of smiles and ahhs from people around us. she had a fork and was feeding me, dh and upsy daisy then had a napkin to wipe our faces while we waited for the food to arrive. the only 'naughty' thing she did was pinch chips from daddy's plate

did you read my thread about the old lady asking me if i could stop ruby from making the screaming noise in the cafe pink lady? haha you'd have had chickens mate!!! ruby is just like Maddox and prob lots of the other biddie boddlers, she's all over the place, inquisitive, noisy, boiterous and typical of 16 months. up until the old behatch asking me to keep her quiet in the cafe incident, i hadnt really thought about her behaviour and how other people viewed it. after the incident i got really nervy and thought Sh*t, what if people are looking at me and thinking "what a baaaad mother with that screamy, uncontrollable child...." but then the next day when i had calmed down i thought, actually i am a good parent ( i hope haha) and there is nothing wrong with ruby or the way i parent her and she needs to be allowed to exercise her freedom, to explore, and to test what her boundaries are and to learn from me what she can and cant do, and i am to help her learn all that- and stuff what other miserable buggers think!
i understand how you feel stressed about being out, i don't feel like that myself but i can see why you do and i can sense that you dont want to feel like that either. It will get easier, especially when they get older! x

I know how you feel. I am on edge quite a bit of the time at the mo as we are going through a big tantrum stage! If Isaac isn't allowed to run where he wants and grab what he wants we have a tantrum with loads of shrieking and squealing. It's a difficult time, they want things but you can't reason with them at all as to why they can't have them! Que tantrum. :roll:

There's no way I could deal with 2 at the mo. I would def need the men in white coats! Isaac is the most energetic boddler i've met. TBH i'm finding that this stage is getting really hard now on a par with newborn again but in a different way!

From what I hear in a years time it should be a bit easier as they can communicate more and understand more so get less frustrated generally. Also you can explain why they shouldn't do things and they understand more. Hopefully! That's what's keeping me going!! :lol:

I'm hoping Isaac has peaked early with tantrums so he finishes sooner!

Just think how many other mums feel like you when out and Maddox is just a normal inquisitive and energetic toddler. Everyone else is thinking that too! Bet he's charming them all!!

millysmum yeh i read your post, carnt believe old people!! they look at you with that look and the "tut"! i hate it!! the shake of the head and all that, id go mad if someone said that to me, i wudve defo said somethin hehe! kar the twins sound like hard work!! like your dd maddox is so good like in a trolley, going for a meal as long as hes sitting down (strapped in hehe) hes fine and so good we went for a chinese buffet today and he happily sat there and ate prawn crackers : ) i no hes not a naughty child far from, he is very well behaved but when i go to mums/dads etc im just constantly watching him and feel so on edge! and the pub scenario was a nightmare cos was full of aunties/uncles that i hadnt seen in years so felt i was being watched and all maddox wanted to do was explore and crawl/walk around and find out! hehe

bellah yeh im also hoping the older he gets the more settled he becomes! (hoping... : ) ) or will it get worse cos they know more and want to do more?? lets just think its the first on that list...to keep us sane! : ) xx

Abby is a lively toddler and there is no way she would sit in her pushchair for any amount of time in company. She just wants to be up and about. However I am quite relaxed about it and actually my OH and I would much rather take Abby out rather than keep her at home because she has so much energy to burn off. We never stay in, we either go swimming, playground, grandparents, shopping, cafe just to give her something to occupy her mind and legs.

TBH I think the more confident you are in their behaviour the less it bothers other people. Or am I one of those horrid people you were talking about? :\?

I took Abby out with some friends on Thursday - our 4 toddlers are all the same age. Two were kept in pushchairs, one was carried most of the way - only Abby walked it. That's not because she's the best walker (she actually walked last) but because I was happy to cross roads with her holding hands, confident in her following me across fields and happy for her to sit on the river bank throwing bread to the swans.

I know a lot of my friends find my mothering a bit too casual so I'm not going to suggest you do that but I do suggest two things:
1 - what personality is Maddox? Abby is very social and loves things like sitting in the shopping trolley in Sainsburys just smiling and chatting to complete strangers. Choose social activities that suit your child's personality. If he likes running around and pulling on things then go to the playground or soft play area - he can't hurt anything there and you can relax and let him go. The more you go out the more confident you get and the easier it becomes. Also Maddox will learn what you expect from him in certain situations.
2 - Decide what behaviour you are happy to tolerate before you go out. There are some behaviours which are totally normal and acceptable - what's the worst that will happen if he crawls across the dirty floor? - and some which aren't (eg going through other people's bags). Let him get on with the former and be ready with a toy or book if he starts with one of the latter. Don't let other people's faces put you off, if you've decided you're happy with a certain behaviour stick with it. Maddox is your little boy - noone elses.

Don't worry PL - you're doing a great job. Your main problem is just realising this and having confidence in yourself. ;\) Maddox is a totally normal and boisterous toddler.

H xx

Thanx blondefriend, yes maddox is very lively and sociable, loves to smile st complete strangers and it makes people come up to him all the time! : ) we are always out with him I've always said I have always been able to take him anywhere shoppin etc we go starbucks for dates together : ) even if he does nick my muffin! : ) and swimmin he loves people! Don't be daft I didn't mean those people are horrid I meant some people just have not a tiny bit of control over there child like my friend ended up dragging her girl off the fairground by her leg in the dirty mud!! I want maddox to explore he loves playin with everythin I think with me I find it hard at mo cos he's not walkin proply so he will drop down and crawl so carnt really walk with him like in the street or snythin yet or in shops cos he just wants to crawl!! I try and destract him when he starts to whinge and this works a treat : ) thanx for ur advice it's nice to see other peoples views snd ideas : ) xx

Hey PL!

I think Maddox sounds like a perfectly normal boddler!

Skye is a very energetic, active and often quite loud toddler!

There were times when she was a few months old that I used to dread going out and about. Her reflux was so extreme that I had to take towels with me for fear of a river of sick issuing out of her mouth :roll: And the crying and fighting the bottle used to make life when out of the house quite a challenge to say the least. I used to prefer to go out with my sister who had plenty of baby experience and would be a great help to me, and woudl provide fab reassurance in such situations. I even struggled to meet other new mums as I was worried they would wonder what on earth was the matter with my baby and what I was doing wrong? :\(

So although Skye can be handful at times I find things much more managable now than back then. Yes she can scream for England if she wants to, and sometimes it is a bit embarrassing (i.e. the Starbucks episode we had the other week I mentioned on another thread). She doesn't take well to being restrained in her buggy if she has been let out and you try to get her back in! I admit I have to bribe her with food at times!!

Now she can walk things are a little easier in that at least she doesn't crawl in pubs/restaurants/parks and nearly get trampled on, and I don't worry so much about where she's putting her hands i.e. doggie doodle!

I can sometimes be the mother chasing after the child in public places asking them not to touch this/swing off that etc, but it's all so exciting for Skye at the moment, and she can only learn what's right from wrong by trying to occasionally push the boundaries. i know she will learn in time and in a few months she will be a reasonable well rounded toddler, with just the occasional bout of willfullness to tame! Hopefully...!:lol:

You are definitely not alone PL!! x