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My baby was born in Dec 08
29/01/2010 at 12:28
sil has managed to have a go at me about something at least once/twice a week for the last few weeks. including being shouted at for watching the boys eat even though i couldnt move as she was in the way. her being offended by my comments on face book about the bottles, dds feet being a size 3f, having a go cos the house was untidy the last 2 weeks when she has come home (there are 3 children there), the oldest twin being upset when she leaves for work (always fine 5 mins after hse leaves) so i was asked if i had ever pushed him away when he wanted a cuddle (meaning he doesnt like me because i wont cuddle him, if any of them want a cuddle they get one unless i have a poo covered bum in the air then obviously they have to wait until i have finished but that applies to dd too)she has now demanded that she and the boys come to my house on mondays now as dd is upset when i leave in the morning when i drop her off. even though it is much easier for my to get 1 child ro her rather than 2 to me. her reasons ofr the change is she has had a guts ful of being stuck in her own house every monday (only done it 7 times since i have been back at work due to illness, school holidays and dd's hospital appointment) i have been looking after her boys every week for over 10 months without compliant about having to go over there. dd's routine was shot to pieces in the early days to make sure the boys routine was kept exactly the same as normal and it would take us 2hours to get her to bed everyweek but still i didnt complain.dd cannot sleep when the boys are around as they are so loud either screaming, crying or just shouting and throwing things. she is really grumpy when we are there through sheer tiredness, she barely has 1 hour when she is used to 2.5 hours so is really crabby plus she is cutting teeth aswell.dh thinks that it is her way of goading (sp) us into saying that we will make other arrangements and that she doesnt have to have her anymore. i an really getting fed up of the way that she is constantly having a go at me and the way she thinks she can speak to me. im not one for confrontation (unless the other person is in school uniform then there is no holding me back :lol:any ideas to get around this
29/01/2010 at 13:13
Hate to say it, but would it be better for you both to stop the arrangement? She seems to take you for granted and make you feel guilty and the situation is making your dd more grumpy.
29/01/2010 at 16:41
yes SB it would mean that if she isnt having dd then i wouldnt have the boys. she has already said that her MIL would like to have them more so it would be no skin off her nose.am wondering if it is her way of trying to stop me having the boys so her MIL can have them.dh is absolutely livid over the way she has been speaking to me and treating me. he want to phone her and have it out with her but like i said if we go down the nursery route then i want it to be on our terms rather than her turn around last minute and say she wont have her anymore. that way we would have time to arrange things without having to take time off work due to lack of childcare.
29/01/2010 at 17:36
30/01/2010 at 16:51
I couldn't be doing with all that childish nonsense - if you can arrange alternative care for your dd so you don't have to see her any more than is strictly necessary.Easy for me to say I know! But the arrangement sounds like it's not working.
30/01/2010 at 16:54
Haha, I didn't mean that to read, "arrange alternative care for dd so you don't have to see her any more" - I OBVIOUSLY meant "arrange alternative care for dd so you don't have to see sil any more". :lol:
31/01/2010 at 07:37
01/02/2010 at 06:54
well things are getting worse dropped dd off this morning to be complained at that as she has a free flow cup she is tipping it on the rug and she is not happy cos she spent ??200 on it. not sure why she is not watching her and taking the cup away when she has finished drinking (once she starts to shake it i put the spout down she she doesnt make too much mess). she is also concerned that the boys are not getting enough attention when she is there and are breaking their toys as they are lashing out about not having all the attention. the oldest is getting upset everytime he sees me (didnt this morning but anyway) and it must be because i dont spend enough time with him and he is upset that i dont cuddle him or play with him. my day is spent trying to keep them happy with most of my attention so avoid tantrums and screaming. i have never turned anyone of them away when they want a cuddle and never would. me and the boys often sit on the sofa watching tv with them on my lap having a cuddle. i am now actively looking for a childminder in the area for after half term.
02/02/2010 at 08:28
02/02/2010 at 17:26
02/02/2010 at 17:48
thanks girls but the decision has been taken out of my hands. dh spent an hour on the phone to her this evening and it has been decided to keep the arrangement as it is. these are the 'issues' that she has with me:1) wants me to be more proactive when she leaves the house and oldest is up set (already take him away from the front door, pick him up, cuddle him, take him to the lounge and play and distract him, not sure what else to do)2) on a few occations she has come home just as i am about to do a dirty bum and that is a problem (not sure how i can either make them poo earlier or make them wait until after i have left)3) once there was a magic star trodden into the rug (must have been months ago as she always rolls the new rug up since before christmas when she had it)4) concerned that my attention is divided when i look after them (obviously when there are 3 of them my attention has to be divided)5) i am not allowed to let them chew the toys (whenever they have been chewing parts of toys i pu them away up on the table where they cant reach and have told her that i have done this.6) i am not watching the boys playing as they are breaking their books (one was ripped when i was sitting on the floor with him and it was an accident, he was trying to close the book but bent it the wrong way and it ripped, no ones fault just one of those things)7) i get too many toys out (apart from the large toys that are always out i get the clippo hippo and piano and guitar)8) i dont treat her house with respect as there are sometimes crisps under the sofai just feel that she thinks that all i do all day is sit and play with dd and completely ignore the boys. when the fact is i probably spend more time with the boys than i do with her trying to stop them screaming etc. sorry for the moan just wanted to get it off my chest. i really want to get her out of there but everyone else is happy to continue the way things are.an a plus side though, when the boys are 2 they are going to a play group on thursday mornings then their other nan is going to pick them up and have them for the afternoon as she is concerned about oldest ones behaviour with other children so she wants them to mix with other children, they are 2 on march 6th.
02/02/2010 at 18:01
02/02/2010 at 18:09
03/02/2010 at 10:20
06/02/2010 at 09:05
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