Baby Clubs <
My baby was born in Dec 08
23/06/2009 at 06:05
been thinking about how MIL has been behaving and the things she has said. i dont know if some of it is my fault now.the twins are not very advanced for their age they are 15.5 months. they didnt sit until 10 months, they dont feed themselves, they have finger food but rarely eat it, they scream through every meal and dont really eat much per meal. they are very small 17lb 10oz and 20lb 5oz(with clothes). one babbles one doesnt, one pulls himself up one doesnt.am i wrong to tell her about the new things that dd is doing. i try not to brag her up too much but when i do tell her about something she is doing or something that she has learnt she just turns round and starts talking about the boys and what they can do.now at 7.5months she is sitting up, is eating me out of house and home and putting weight on brilliantly.should i just keep my mouth shut in future?
23/06/2009 at 08:08
grr stupid BE ate my reply. dumb tree.Anyways, I'd written to say I do know how you feel because Juliet's cousin (who is 10 1/2 months) isn't sitting up or doing owt physical and so I have to be really conscious and can't be s proud as I'd like to be able to be of Ju, as don't want to upset SIL.Not same situation though as noone seems resentful & they do support Juliet equally so can't even imagine how awful this is.she will start to sense things too as she grows older...it's such a shame she seems to treat her so differently. I couldn't imagine dealing with that; it's just so unfair.
23/06/2009 at 08:50
She may be feeling bad, or possibly worried that the twins aren't doing so well. Maybe even ask her. That way it broaches the subject that you feel she doesn't get so much attention and that you've thought that you might be hurting her feelings.It's amazing what people will keep quiet. A friend of my MIL was getting twins as granddaughter/son. They didn't tell anyone else that they knew 1 was disabled. It must have been so hard for them not to say anything even to their best friends. Maybe MIL suspects something but doesn't want worried about the twins to dampen your joy with her.
23/06/2009 at 09:04
the boys are under consultant care and rarely have to go so everything is fine. the main problem is that their mother has never tried to encourage them to do anything. she would leave them in their bouncy chairs all day so that she could clean the house. they werent given lumps until they were 10 months.i feel really guilty when she reaches her milestones and feel that i cant say anything to her. my SIL is fine about it all, its just MIL.when i told them that she had had her 7.5 month check SIL was great saying that its weight off your mind when they 'pass' it etc but MIL just didnt even acknowledge it. she never asks how she got on at clinic even when i tell her we are going the following day.i know that people say that its different when your daughter has children to your son but surely you should never openly treat them differently.sometimes when i am looking after the boys she used to come over after work to see them but would never really pay her any attention. when my FIL came over he would be on the floor playing with the boys and wouldnt even say hello to dd. liz: she has already picked up on things. when FIL plays with the boys but doesnt speak to her she blanks him and when he does try to speak to her she turns away nad when he tries to cuddle her she cries.when we are there she gets grumpy and wants to come home, we make excuses that she is tired but once we get home she is her usual bundle of funny
23/06/2009 at 09:09
23/06/2009 at 09:15
your right liz.as of today i am going to take what she says with a pinch of salt. at the end of the day it is her that is going to miss out. she has me, her dad, her other nan who love her to bits. hey even a brother or sister one day!!!!! even my friends love her and always ring or text to see how she is.
23/06/2009 at 14:22
to be honest with regards to the boys mil sounds like she's on the defensive which i can understand if she thinks they're not progressing as quickly as normal. eventually someone will pick this up via hv or when they are at a pre-sch if there's still concerns.with regards to your dd its such a shame but agree with liz and you. she has a loving family in you, oh and friends..its mil thats missing out.xx
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