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She knows 'No' - AGGGH UPDATE!!!!

Chat < Baby Clubs < My baby was born in Dec 08

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  • Lizzie77
    Lizzie77

    12/01/2010 at 10:41

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    WHY was I such a smartass posting this thread?? Why?? In the past 48 hours, suddenly Juliet has started to test the boundaries at every given opportunity. I swear she's looking straight at me, then doing something like throwing the remote off the sofa or throwing a book across the room. In fact, a lot of it involves throwing! She's also stropping out at everything taken off her or if she's removed from a situation?!! What happened so suddenly?! I was feeling so so good about having achieved something and now I'm thinking already 'where did I go wrong?' lol!

    I'm not mega worried, it's just I feel like my blood pressure has gone from relaxed to super mega heightened stress/frustration in about 10 seconds and I can suddenly clearly see how parents lose their temper with their little ones. Twice I have had to catch myself before I over-reacted as I felt like really shouting to try to get the message across. That's upset me because it's not her fault and I've seen how easy it was to react totally irrationally.

    Anyways, just had to post this as can't believe the turnaround and can I just say this is the LAST time I am ever going to post a thread showing off and saying how good Juliet has been!!!!!!!!!!!


    *************************************
    I feel really proud of Juliet because in the past couple of weeks, she has gone from being really quite mischievous and ignoring 'no' and 'Juliet don't do that' and 'careful' and still touching Larry's cat food, water bowl, the fire, plug sockets etc to now really responding to 'no' immediately and literally turning on her heel and rushing away.

    It's like she's clocked that there is a danger or that something like Larry's dinner area is not an acceptable area for her to interfere in. She still tries it on with things like cupboards, rubbish bin (loves the click open, click shut thing and can see why it must be confusing when I am constantly clicking open and shut myself!) but I feel really chuffed that she is not trying to seek my attention by probing these dangerous areas and I feel even more chuffed because I have achieved it my OWN way and I have not raised my voice but simply used a more serious sounding tone to my voice. When this has failed, I physically remove her immediately from the area (but never roughly or with any force, always just very matter of fact picking up) and placed her back down on the ground facing away from offending area, down to her level with a reminder that 'Remember that is Larry's dinner, it's not your dinner so you need to leave it for Larry'. I know it sounds lame but I feel like I've achieved something

    Juliet is very cheeky and often mischievious and I did worry that my less forceful approach might not be successful but I've stuck to consistent firm but gentle reproaches that I feel are age appropriate and I don't shout or lose control (have wanted to at times after she tries to climb up pushchair to pull radio cord and radio on top of her sigggghhh!!!!) We've now taken fireguard down and I thought she'd be all over the hearth, hands in fire etc but within a day or two, we've had no bother whatsoever and man, the lounge looks so much nicer!!

    Anyways, yay me! How's your LO's coming on with understanding what you're trying to teach them?>

    [Modified by: Lizzie77 on 14 January 2010 09:38:12 ]
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  • millysmum_naomi
    millysmum_naomi

    12/01/2010 at 13:06

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    well done lizzie- what a lovely feeling. ~i wish i could say the same! i have been doing the same as you with ruby, being consistent and using a lower tone etc and moving her away (like 1000 times away fromt he tv cabinet aarrrrrgh) and she looks at me, smiles and then turns the tv off for the millionth time anyway. patience of a saint? moi? nah.
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  • Lizzie77
    Lizzie77

    12/01/2010 at 13:49

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    Naomi - Juliet also turns tele off so not totally there yet!!! Only good thing is last time she tried it, when I firmly said 'now turn it back on' she did do...could be coincidence tho!!
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  • PinkLadyx
    PinkLadyx

    14/01/2010 at 16:38

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    thats really good lizzie good on you!! and little juliet!! maddox is exactly the same, he is so mischevious, and a little cheeky boy, he will do something then give me that killer smile, and do it again! i have to hide if im going to laugh! but i am always on top with it, i wil tell him no and dont do that maddox every time, do you find that some days they wont touch a thing ( ok well not as much as some days!) and then some days he will go for everything!

    i havent had to move anything in the front room, my dvds are on the floor still in the dvd rack, my big pink vase is right there on floor level, and he doesnt touch the flower ever not once, but the dvds he can go weeks without going near them, then picks the front ones up and throws them! he loves the bin, the fire, the remotes are the fave, he loves them to press them, and then throw them when i say he carnt have them cos he does know he carnt have them, he sometimes passes them to me, he loves mobiles, the cupboards, the tv stand... the list is endless!! keeps us on our toes eh! maddox seemed to know the word no since ages ago, but recently has chosen to be a little scamp and throw whatever he is not allowed! am hoping its just a phase! xx
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  • basscl
    basscl

    15/01/2010 at 10:12

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    I'm so glad it's working for you Lizzie.

    We haven't done as well as you but are getting there. Even more so now, I'm trying to avoid any smacks/taps etc as it's a bit unfair of him to receive one 'punishment' level at nursery and then a more harsh one at home (on the rare occassions we have used it).

    He does understand no and is pretty good at walking away. I think we're also getting a little more accepting in that if he gets a remote control, then it's generally due to us leaving it within reach rather than him being naughty. The one I've yet to get him out of is grabbing my glasses from the bedside cabinet (especially now he climbs onto it to grab them from the upper shelf ). I have resorted to smacking his fingers a couple of times as he's gone 'hunting' for them, refused to let go when I've asked 3 times, and is normally in the process of trying to break them. Unfortunately it's the one thing that stops him quickly before he ends up costing us a lot of money. Thankfully we don't need to do it as much now as I've moved them to a really high shelf elsewhere.

    C has yet to work out how the TV switches on which is good. Being home less now does mean he tends to be more interested in toys a fair part of the time. We joined you in removing the fireguard (back in early dec) and have been amazed how he's left it alone.
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  • posy
    posy

    15/01/2010 at 10:41

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    You must be emmensely proud Lizzie, even is she is testing you at the mo!
    SKye definitely knows what "No", and "Ah ah" mean, so much so that she actually says them before she does something she knows she shouldn't, and then does it anyway most of the time LOL!!!

    Some days Skye understands and walks away, other days she just chuckles at me and goes ahead. Last night she had a major strop because she couldn't have something she wanted and threw herself on the floor, slapping it with her hands and screamed blue murder for about 5 minutes. We had to laugh, but it's not really that funny, and I refused to intervene to tell her everything was okay when I knew there was nothing wrong. Eventually I had to calm her down when it turned into full on body-racking sobs - such a diva!

    Re the TV, I have to turn it on/off by hiding the switch with my hands, along with her highchair straps. She is working out how to undo her straps and is very knowing already! I can see her going through it all in her mind so we are having to be careful! We've never had a fireguard, but then again we have an open log/coal fire and haven't used it with SKye around at all, too dangerous.!

    Be nice to mummy now Ju! x
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  • Minimoomoo
    Minimoomoo

    15/01/2010 at 12:09

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    dd was the at about 12months. she understood 'no' but just chose to ignore it. she was blantantly doing things she knew she wasnt allowed to do. she would look at us when she did things like touching the fire (we dont use it but make she she stays away.

    i have no miracle cure but we just kept telling her 'no' firmly and moving her away from the desired object. on the other hand we also rewarded the good, when she moved away from things when we said 'no' or 'not the fire/lead etc' we would make a fuss of her clap and say 'good girl' etc

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  • Lizzie77
    Lizzie77

    15/01/2010 at 16:33

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    She seems pretty much over her sickness now & back to her normal self again yay! She's been much better behaved last 24hours

    We do loads of positive reinforcement here too, kar.

    Think I was mega tired & frustrated at end of 8 days of sickness as her & I are much more chilled now again *yayskis*
    (int it weird when they're poorly how it feels like they will be poorly foreverand you start to believe they'll never be their oldself again...then snap, one day, all is well again & the clinginess / incessant crying & irritability subsides
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