ive got a problem with summer and her dad and i really have no clue what to do about it!!

basicly summer never bonded with kirk at all, when we 1st split up she didnt seem bothered if she saw him or not, if he came over to see her she would just cling to me as he was like a stranger to her.

but recently he has been having her over night once a fortnight and last week her had her for 2 nights on the trot because my lil bro was running in the marathon and i couldnt really take her with me.

well today he came to see her for the 1st time since having her for the 2 nights, he came and took her over the park for half an hour and when he brought her back she was just sitting on the floor by the front door with me and he said bye and went to leave but summer just cried her eyes out and tried to crawl after him, honestly it broke my heart she has obviously managed to bond with him which can only be a good thing but now im left with the thought that he should be seeing more of her as she must be missing him but i cant have him in my flat because we just argue all the time (he hasnt been at all nice since we broke up, hes been very 2 faced with me and the csa etc).

so now i just dont know what to do, he txt and asked if summer was ok and i just said shes fine now and i would call him when she was in bed tonight but i havent coz i dont know what to say to him, i mean i want to say u need to see ur daughter more an hour once a week just isnt enough, but is that my problem???

also posted in 100 xxx

Hi hun, Im really not good with these things hence why Ive never replied to your posts but I didnt want to R and R.

I think suggesting that he sees more of Summer is a good idea - why is it your problem? I dont think it is at all hun. Shes learing who the important people are in her lives as she gets older and, as you say, souds like she is getting a bond with her daddy. I really dont think suggesting it is wrong at all babe.

I really think you are an amazing mum hun - if im honest and it were me I wouldnt like the fact that my baby cried after my Ex after having no bond with him but thats just my immaturity coming through. You are doing a fab job babe and I hope if me and OH split that I handle it just like you do.

Sorry I cant be much help. Hope you get a good outcome.

Take care xxx

hi vicky

ok well this happens with my ex and me and tbh it pissed me off, how dare e gets tears when he was a sh=t father, never there, but kids dont see that in fact robbie is only just getting see what a hopeless case his father is.

Suggest he has her more often it tell him he needs to realise that he needs to get along for her sake, tell him sort out decent amount with csa, i never got any money in fact my ex only had robbie if i paid for lunch bus fare etc.

you are an amazing mum to summer and only u know what is best for her, summer loves her mummy and yeh her daddy is starting to bond thats a good thing i hope he can behave like a grown up now for summer's sake.

big hugs to you hun xxx and kisses to summer xxx

thanks for the replies girls,

tbh yeah it did hurt that she was that sad to see her dad go but i think it can only be a good thing that she has finally bonded with him, and i know my bond with her will always be stronger as i have and never will let her down unlike kirk who has and im sure will in the future.

i didnt bother to call him last night i was just too upset about the whole thing. he is coming to see her again today at 2.30 so maybe i will talk to him then. I think he finally saw that he needs to see summer more by her reaction yesterday but if he starts making excuses etc later today then im gonna have to tell him he cant just come and see summer for an hour here and there because it just upsets her and its not right xxx

Hi hun I think that Kirk really needs to grow up and take more resposibilty for his daughter! Although at the minute Summer doesn't understand that your the one doing everything for her, like you said that bond between you will always be there and no one will ever break that. Not really got any advice but wanted to say I think you are a fab mum too!!!! xxxx

thanks everyone i think ur all fab mummies too xxx

well he just came and picked summer up to take her to the park, i asked him how long he was having her for and he said well ive gotta be at work in an hour, so i said what and ur only coming now to see her??!! so ive told him if/when she gets upset today thats it u cant just come and see her for an hour coz its not fair on summer and we ended up in another screaming match i shut the door on him coz i wont argue infront of summer and he started shouting through the letter box and he punched my front door!!

so thats it ive tried, its not my problem anymore, if he doesnt see summer as much as he should he will lose out not me or summer. Im so done with him!!

What an arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To be honest he doesn't deserve a beautiful daughter like Summer!!! As you say its him that will loose out in the long run hun!
Bug hugs to you both! xxxx

exactly he doesnt deserve her at all and it makes me mad he doesnt see what i see!! he didnt get excited when she took her 1st steps, or sat up for the 1st time or crawled etc. sometimes i think both our lives would be better if i just moved away and started again somewhere else but the only reason i dont is because im really close to my family.
whatever its his loss at least i can tell summer when she is older that ive tried and tried to get her dad to be a dad.

vicky honestly some men dont deserve their kids, my robbies dad calls when he feels like it, texts to be nasty, n dont turn up to visits the bloke is a total w))))ker lol, u n summer have each other thats all that matters xx big hugs xx

yeah thats true some men dont deserve to be dads!! whats going on with robbies dad?/ last i heard was the webcam thing!!

the bloke is a total c''k honestly yep thats last i heard from him too, tbh i wish he would jump off a big cliff n leave us alone x

lol maybe kirk can jump with him looool

Lol at them both jumping off a cliff!!!! Don't think they would get a chance as if they were close enough to the edge there would be a que to push them over, lol. xxxx

lol yeah i'd be there ready to push em both off lol

he sent him a text today saying he wants to see him, so i sent back well as i have told you b4 london will have to be summer hols n b4 that come to swindon, he sent back i think you r being unreasonable i wanna see him this month, so as i havent had much sleep a poorly oh and poorly baby i said well my ticket will be approx ??40 return sort that out on sat/sunday and i will be happy to get to london. He said omg tracey ur such a bi@ch stop being unreasonable, i swear had him been in front of me i would have smacked him one, so i said oh of course i'll take my fairy dust and fly to london for you, and then proceeded to tell him to stop being a c@@k if he realised how much money we dont have he would understand the fu@@in c@@k i said its not like u pay for ur son is it, plus you might not turn up like last time arrghhh god damn bloke seriously i wish he would disappear for good, how are you anyway vicky, summer party is soon wish we could come but money is tight so no trips for us till summer hols

hi,
omg robbies dad is such a loser!!! its not up to u to make the trip to london for him to see robbie! if he really wanted to see him he would make the effort to come to see him!! what the hell is wrong with these men!! yesterday kirk told me i needed help and that i was going mental lol i honestly would love to just move away from him out of london, the more i think about it the more i wanna do it the only thing stopping me is my family. Its been a long week for me this week its just been me and summer all week normally my mum has her on a wednesday and we both go to my mums on a sunday but shes in egypt.. again lol but summer has been an angel this week been in bed asleep at 6.30pm latest and hasnt woken up til 7-8am so ive been lucky lol

summers party is next weekend!!! im so excited!! ive got all in the night garden decorations for it cups, plated, napkins, balloons, tablecover, bubbles, blow out thingys and ive got a bubble machine as well. my friend is making a makka pakka cake and my bros g/f is making in the night garden fairy cakes. so i think im sorted just gotta get all the food on the saturday and get summers pressie. im pleased kirk wont be there at the moment i really couldnt bear to be in the same room as him. From now on im just gonna ignore kirk coz i havent got the energy fot his shit anymore.

i hope robbies dad sorts his crap out hun. does robbie even want to see him btw???