Hi ladies and wee ones x I've not posted for a while but have enjoyed keeping up-to-date with your posts and pics x I'm posting to vent really... Amelia is nearly 16 weeks and blossoming beautifully, we're very lucky, she's happy and content, has her last feed around 11pm and sleeps through till I wake her each morning about 8ish. Harry, 2yrs, adores her, he's accepted the new addition very well, as has Tom our eldest at 10yrs. Things should be going swell, and they are, but i just dont feel like I'm actually taking any of it in, or enjoying it. I feel like I'm a passanger, and i'm just watching everything. My husband has a new business, he was made redundant about 18months ago so we took the plunge to give it a go. The last 6 months things have gone through the roof, the business has even had to move into bigger premises, which is fantastic of course, but its so bloody demanding. I've been going into the office 9 to 6 every day for the past 2 weeks, my parents have had the children, I literally get up at 7.30, dress, feed and change the kids then drop them off, straight in to work. When I come home I'm too tired to cook so takeaway it is, every week I've wanted to go to a WW meeting, but not a chance as he doesnt get home till late, laundry is piling up too, so all weekend I'm catching up on the housework and laundry, try to cram in a bit of food shopping too if I can, with all 3 kids can be trying at times... Its really non-stop...We're off to Chester Zoo this Sat to do something with the kids, which I know we'll all enjoy, but in the back of mind is the thought that I still havent caught up with the house, that I;m not spending enough time with Amelia, that I still need to get so much done at the office to help my husband... I can't speak to him as he's working so very hard, he's still at work now, how can i tell him that I'm tired, that Im on maternity leave yet am working more hours than I did before! Amelia is changing so much, I'm scared of missing it, i'm worried Harry and Tom will feel that I dont spend enough time with them, also I feel awful that my parents are having the children so much... its all alot to deal with.

I dont expect any response.. I just needed to get it out i think. I know how very lucky I am, and I am happy, just feel pulled in every direction, I feel a bit better already just for typing this xx

Oh, so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. I think in the situation you describe it's completely normal. If your business is going so well (which is great!) couldn't you get someone to cover you in the meantime until Amelia is at least a little bigger.. or even to do just mornings or something? Perhaps you could talk to your hubby about that? Even though he's tired and working so hard so are you, and you both made the decision to have a baby together and I'm guessing he knew it should have meant you'd be off work. I think you should make some time to talk to him - perhaps on your day out when you'll all be more relaxed!
I'm sure you'd already thought of that anyway, but maybe you need to talk to him and try to find a solution to have at least one day off with the kiddies.
My brother is a keeper at Chester Zoo, enjoy your day out! I love that place (but then again I get in free and get to go "backstage" hehe).
Big hugs xxx

Sounds like you have your hands full to the max honey and no wonder you feel a bit frazzled with it all! I agree with Mitxi it's time to have a chat with hubby and fine a workable compromise else you'll just burn out and get more unhappy - you can't do everything and work too - you're only human! lol.

Have you tried online shopping? I do my weekly shop online quite often if I can't face asda/tesco and it's only about ??3-5 to have delivered - is well worth it - and I only have one lo!!

Try not think you have to achieve everything - sometimes things will have to slide around the house, it sounds like you're doing an amazing job of holding everything together so try not to be hard on yourself when something doesn't get done.

Sorry not much help, I hope you manage to work something out for the better - keep ranting if needed! xxx

Hi hun sorry to hear you are having such a hectic time. I had a minor meltdown last week about things and I felt much better afterwards. Some times we try and be wonder woman and its good to let our OH's know that we need help and can't do it all. When they go to work they seem to be able to almost switch off from home/kids but for us its constantly on our minds.

I start work again next week and am very unhappy about going back even though I will only work until 2pm. Plus we are trying to buy a farm and will be moving so I will quit my job and then have to try and make enough money freelancing to pay back the mortgage which will be big pressure!! Talk about sleepless nights.

I would def chat about things soon before you have a real wobble.

Good luck x

Hi x thank you for your replies xx I hear what your saying about speaking to OH, i know I need to, its just finding the right time, I was hoping this Sat would be a work free time so maybe some other time over the weekend might be best. Mitxi, lucky you have access to chester zoo, I love it there, fingers crossed we dont have rain! I would love to be able to get someone in to cover me but im actually setting up all my OH new computer systems and accounts etc, without OH paying out a fortune, which we havent got, its only me that can do it. I actually enjoy working with him, its a new experience and we work well together, its just that at the moment i have so many other things to tend to, ie. Amelia who is still so young and needs me, cant help but feel pulled in every direction. Applepie, a great idea to do my shopping online, I never thought of that, i will give it a try tomorrow, at least thats one job i dont have to worry about fitting in this weekend, thank you x Foxinsocks, a trying time for sure to be had, but the rewards will be amazing, a beautiful home, your own business. I hope you settle back into work okay, its a wrench at first I know, but at least its only till 2pm, hope it flies by for you x It looks like I'll have to leave my job, resign before I'm due back, and will be working with OH permenantly, that gives me butterflies, keep thinking all our eggs in one basket but sometimes I guess you just got to go for it!! Thanks again ladies xx I felt better immediately after I wrote and posted it, i just need things to settle down, even a little, I'm sure it will do soon enough x thanks for listening x