Just wondering as I havent had anyone babysit Brody of an evening, or even during the day for that matter, except hubby. Ive been out 1 night without him in the 6+ months and it felt weird leaving him behind with hubby - and he had a nightmare night I might add (that was last weekend when his unsettledness started).
Anyway, we are due to visit our family up north at the end of the month and MIL is already asking to babysit him one night. I immediately said NO to hubby!! Am I being too protective?
Only minutes before he was on the phone to her when she mentioned it to him, we were talking about the night we have planned to get together with our mates (one couple with a 20 month old, 1 couple due in august, and 2 childless unmarried couples still in the honeymoon phase). One of the childless girls is talking about us going out instead of us all staying together and having a meal in together after putting the boys down, and if we can get a babysitter and I said to hubby I thought at first we could get his MIL to come round while we were out, then go home when we get back but I just feel too uncomfortable (or untrusting??) - I fear that if he wakes (which he has been lately when he falls onto his back and is too sleepy/lazy/?? to roll back on his side) then she will just keep him up. Which means he will get a crap night's sleep and we will pay for it the rest of the night.
I guess Im worried more cos she has whinged to me before about her other daughter-IL telling her what to do when she looks after her kids. I feel like I would need to do the same if I let her have him!!
Am I being too controlling? Or is it my right to decide when I feel is the right time to let him be babysat?

Has anyone else still not left their baby with anyone overnight or part of a night?

x

[Modified by: sim75 on 05 June 2010 12:21:57 ]

Sim I am exactly the same. My twins are 6 and a half months and I have never left them with anyone at night not even dh. I am going out in 2 weeks, tickets were booked before they were born, and I am even nervous about leaving them with dh, although I know he is perfectly capable as he does his share when hes not at work.

I really struggle to leave them with anyone. I am hoping it will get easier when they get bigger I just feel so respnsible for them at the moment.

[Modified by: wilmie on June 05, 2010 12:59 PM]

Hi Sim

Bit the same here really .... Definitely not left Freddie over night in fact have rarely left him at all!

OH has him while I'm at the hairdressers - so that's 2 hours every 6 weeks, my friend took him for a walk about 6 weeks ago - that was half an hour and apart from that my mum's babysat for us twice. Once at her house while we were all staying there - OH and I went out to celebrate our engagement - I fed and settled Freddie before we left and we weren't even gone 2 hours and I hate to admit I didn't really enjoy it as I was too worried about Freddie waking up and us not being there! The other time we dragged mum to a hotel in Liverpool - same again I fed and settled Freddie and mum sat in our hotel room in the dark watching the tv on low while we went to a gig - we were out 4 hours. She had lists of instructions re bottles of EBM, nappy changing, keeping him up etc etc

I honestly didn't think I'd be this protective!! Thought I'd be glad of some time out ...

Supposed to be going to the cinema with friends but Freddie's nights are so erratic just now that I keep postponing cos when he wakes he wants mummy cuddles and it's not fair to him or OH if I go out if there's just going to be lots of distress

So no I guess I don't think you''re being too controlling cos let's face it - if you are so am I!!!

xx

we left Tyler with both sets of our parents when he was younger and did not have a routine, now if we want to go out (rare occasion) then they will come up here, after he's settled and in bed then we go out. This has only happened twice (third time tomorrow for our anniversary) and he has been fine. My mum says that as she's managed to raise the three of us with no problems she's sure she'll be fine. I have no worries leaving him when my parents when its essential for an hour or two as he hardly notices i'm gone, I had to have a scan last week and go into work afterwards for a meeting and he didn't notice i went. However, when my MIL had him once for me for a hour whilst i had a gynae appt, he went nuts and screamed his head off.. He doesn't really know her, but we visit my parents every day so he is very comfortable with them.

He wont stay overnight with them now though, as he's in a routine which we've tried really hard to stick to, my friends rarely have their own baby for a full week, for example she gave her to her mum yesterday and is not getting her back until tomorrow. personally i think its wrong, as she's only 9 months old....

Sarah

I had my first night out thurs just gone and I stayed over night while OH looked after Scarlett. She had a good night so was pleased I was looking forward to my first night of sleep over 4hrs but I actually slept worse than normal as I kept waking and thinking I had to get up!

We have accepted we wont be able to leave her with anyone till she's much older and she's too unsettled to be left and I wouldnt enjoy myself. We are going on a cruise soon with a night nursery where nursery trained staff watch them and buzz you if they wake up, hoping like mad she'll sleep there so we can have some time for a meal etc for the first time x

Inka xxx

My boy has been away loads :\( my hubby is amazing and they have the most amazing bond, he's also been to the inlaws a lot but thats because i've been ill mainly. I find if he does go away for the night if im not ill and were going out I don't sleep well, wake at 6 to get up with him even though he isn't here and pace the house till he's back as its far too quiet and I miss him!

Im pleased that by him going to others he isn't too clingy and is a very happy sociable boy. But to be fair he may have been that way anyway and he's still a little mummys boy

Sim if you don't want to leave him don't hun, only do that when you feel ready!

xxx

Well this is the thing, I certainly don't want a clingy baby cos that would drive me nuts - I need a break sometimes, as we all do! So I have always passed him round and he isnt bothered. BUT, the complete handover is another thing.
He doesnt really know MIL as only met her twice so far since we dont live where they do. Even my mum, who was there for the birth and a few weeks after, and he has met once and again now that she is here for the weekend, he was hesitant at first this time round with all the attention.
I think if it were any babysitter, or a friend, I wouldnt hesitate to tell them exactly what to do and insist that they do it to a T (probably write it all down too!! :lol: ) - and they would! But with a MIL I'm anticipating that she will go off on one that she has raised kids herself and not really pay attention to what I ask and definately would not call me if he was really unsettled! She may have raised her kids, and looked after her other grandkids but she doesnt know MY baby. e.g. when she came down a few weeks back hubby and I popped out to the shops and I came back to find she'd nursed him off to sleep in her arms (when he shouldnt have been asleep as it was too late in the day near his bedtime!) Then one morning she said for me to go nap and I woke to him screaming his head off and a dirty nappy that desperately needed changing and she was bouncing him around overstimulating him.

I feel better knowing Im not the only one who doesnt want to leave them yet. Especially if they are going through an unsettled phase overnight. Im so strict on the no-talking/interacting and getting him back to sleep immediately in the dark of his room if he wakes any time after going down. It took hubby ages to understand it even! If this is not followed he will wake up properly and want to play.
I dont think I could relax either to go out and would have a much more relaxed evening in. Right, Im decided then, going to get on to my friends and tell them back to plan A.

We left Olivia for a couple of hours with inlaws when she was about 3 months old, we went to the cinema and when we came back we were told that she just screamed the whole time we were out and wouldnt go to bed. We havent left her since. I had a night out for a sex & the city night last week, hubby looked after Olivia but I was home again at midnight. Hubby said that she was a nightmare to get to bed that night too she screamed and didnt go to sleep until after 10pm.
Our 2nd anniversary is coming up and I want to go the ballet so I am a bit worried about it. Also my 29th birthday and my brother's 18th birthday is 19th July and I want to go out for a meal but it means that I would have to take her with us as well because inlaws would be away.

I havent!! Jen has never really settled with anyone to go to bed, other than me. Hubs can occationally put her down if she is half asleep already (in the middle of the night) My mum has had her for a few hours when she was little and slept all the way through (they went out with the pram) We had a quick lunch in the local pub. Apart from that she is always with me. I dont expect to leave her for the evening for a while yet. Im fine with that, was never really that bothered about going out at night. I see my friends enough and do the things i want. I love my little girl and love spending time with her and i will leave her when she and I are ready!!!

Em xxx

I haven't been out in the evening without Lily. I know I could if I wanted to, but I just haven't wanted to. She has stayed with Hubby for a few hours, and with my Mum when we moved. MIL has offered, but I'm not ready to leave Lily with her as she doesn't see her often enough and has very strong views on how babies should be brought up, and they differ vastly to mine! Guess we're all different eh? xx

I had my first night off last Wednesday, followed by the next 4 nights and 5 days. But i was hospitalised in order to make it happen. Broke my leg and needed operation.
Was trying yo get out of there for days but they wouldn't let me. Hubby did sooo well and then my mum arrived. I'm now at home and feel a bit redundant (still can't do anything, in toe to thigh plaster) but at least i can cuddle her, feed her and kiss her now.

MJx