16/04/2016 at 09:16
Hello all, my baby girl is 4 weeks old tomorrow and since we came home from the hospital I have been struggling big time! I have been diagnosed with PND and iv been put on some meds (which haven't kicked in yet I don't think) in receiving counselling and have asked for CBT!
I just so desperate to feel better! I feel so hopeless and numb! ita making me feel like I don't love my baby and my husband and even my family, I feel so disconnected from the world and have no idea what to do!
I wake most mornings hoping this is a huge nightmare and that I'll wake up and I'm still pregnant (I had a lovery pregnancy and was so so happy)
please tell me there is light at the end of this dark tunnel and it's not forever?!
I feel I do not deserve my child and that she would be better off with some own else and maybe I should just leave them all behind to live a happy life together without me bringing them down!!!!
16/04/2016 at 09:44
the way you feel sounds awful. I have not been Pregnant but I have suffered with Despression.
take each day as it comes, I know it's not simple but try to focus on the positives no matter how small.
Your Daughter and family no doubt love you very much, and I don't know you but sounds like your a great Mum. It's very brave to ask for help and admit your struggling.
Make sure you get plenty of rest and don't be afraid to ask for more help. If your medication isn't working maybe speak to your Doctor they may need to change the dose.
Your family will never be happy without you quite the opposite No matter how much you think you are disappointing them (you are not its just the illness telling you bad things)
16/04/2016 at 09:58
Thank you for your reply! I went back to the doctors and they want me to continue for a while as they believe they haven't fully kicked in yet! I'm getting to the point that I don't want to go out and I was such a social butterfly! I'm hoping once the meds kick in and I hope to get Cbt that I can start to sort my head and feelings out! We were trying for a while for our little girl and its soul destroying now to feel this way! The guilt I feel in unbearable and to watch everyone coo and love my daughter is heartbreaking as I'm so desperate for that to be me! X
16/04/2016 at 11:40
It will be you soon. Postnatal depression can happen to anyone, don't feel guilty there's nothing you could do to prevent it, you've got yourself help that's huge And you can be really proud of that. It's lovely your Daughter has such a brave and loving Mother and family.
16/04/2016 at 11:48
Thank you! I hope so :) I can't bear it anymore! She just laughed in her sleep and it really made me smile and then 2 seconds later it all comes crashing down! Here's hoping that I get stronger soon! I never want my daughter to feel she wasn't wanted (even though she was) bexause of this and me!!!
16/04/2016 at 12:38
You do want her and you do love her though, dont doubt that at all. The illness is just getting in the way. The illness is not the deep down real you.
16/04/2016 at 12:39
You will get better you have to believe that
16/04/2016 at 13:17
I find it hard to believe anything at the moment apart from all the negativity!
16/04/2016 at 13:25
I know, that's the illness unfortunately. Don't give up
16/04/2016 at 13:29
Thank you! I'll try not too :(
16/04/2016 at 13:51
The most important thing is when you need extra help ask for it. come back and talk to me if you need to, although I'm not much help, if you want to talk I can listen
16/04/2016 at 14:01
Thank you so much! They'd very nice of you! Sometimes I just need reassurance :)
16/04/2016 at 15:11
Hi Kirsty, so sorry hear you're having tough time of it right now. PND is a cruel illness, but you more definitely are not alone. You've done the hardest thing, which is to seek help, but well done you for that. We thought you might want to check out our March 16 Babies club - it is full of women who had their baby in March, and you might find some good support amongst the other women there. Please do feel free to check it out, and we're wishing you well.
16/04/2016 at 15:13
Thank you very much :)
16/04/2016 at 17:27
Been having a better day and all of a sudden having intrusive thoughts and I have just had a meltdown! My daughter deserves more than this so does my husband! I need to leave so they can be happy!
16/04/2016 at 22:50
They won't be happy without you though. It's natural to struggle as a new Mum, it's a really exhausting time. Make sure you take time to rest go enjoy a nice warm bath ask for help from Family members. But if you really go get to the point you absolutely can't cope then seek more help.
16/04/2016 at 23:33
Main thing is you had a better day too. It will take time to get better. Are your Husband and family being supportive?
16/04/2016 at 23:42
I just found this not sure what help you've been given -
17/04/2016 at 06:06
Thank You! Yeah they are so supportive! I'm very lucky like that! It's the thoughts I can't cope with mainly. they are soul destroying! X
17/04/2016 at 06:58
aww that's brilliant you have a wonderful family. I hope your meds help soon for you, you sound as though your dealing with it fantastically well.
today is another day 🌞
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