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31/07/2014 at 10:06
I'm too sleep deprived and I need to sort out the sleep issue. We're currently on 5 ounce bottles and have been for a really long time (like 4 weeks). Health visitor hasn't told me to increase and Molly seems to not have any interest to eat more in one sitting but I'm beginning to think maybe that's why we're up all the time.
last night for example:
3pm - 8pm awake, 2 bottles eaten
sleep for an hour
9pm wake up for an hour, need bottle to comfort on, only 1 ounce eaten, back asleep at 10.30pm
asleep 2 hours, wake up at 12.30am - 1.30am for a feed
asleep for 2.5 hours, awake at 4am - 5am for a feed, only half a bottle eaten
will only sleep on me, put in co-sleeper at 5.30am, wakes straight up and we've been awake until now and are still awake.
I went to bed at 10.30pm so I've had 4.5 hours sleep. And this is a very common night, this isn't rare. She seems unable to self soothe. I try to let her sit by herself in the day in her little rocking chair so she's not constantly held but she either needs to fall asleep eating, or being burped, if I put her down awake she will just lay there for ages getting more and more tired and grumpy until we scream the house down. Even the fact she's been in her chair for the 10 minutes I've spent typing this we're already beginning to scream to be picked up. Help!
31/07/2014 at 11:47
With my two, especially the second, I hardly saw the health visitor after the initial early days, so never went by their recommendations with increasing bottles. If they were draining the bottle frequently, then I upped by an oz. So it could he worth trying her on 6 oz?
Does she have a dummy? I always said that I'd never give a dummy but both of mine had them.
It is still very early days at 6 weeks, you'll both still be getting used to each other and things can change very quickly. I hope you get more sleep soon!
31/07/2014 at 11:52
it sounds pretty normal for a 6 week old to me. At that stage disco had to be held to go to sleep (unless in car seat or pram). That said we had to work on putting him down and him staying asleep (and we did have additional problems with silent reflux). So for putting down once asleep things that helpped. H or I sitting/ lying on the sheet then putting it on the crib last min so it smelt of us and was warm when we put baby down. Always winding for longer than we thought to ensure as much wind was out as possible. tilting the crib also helpped (but that was the reflux). The sleep deprivation is really hard but it does get better
31/07/2014 at 12:03
31/07/2014 at 12:04
31/07/2014 at 12:40
Unfortunately, not what you want to hear, but that seems pretty normal to me. Z was awful to get back down in the night after a feed. You'll probably find she starts settling into more of a pattern that suits an adult pattern at about 3 months. They're all inside out at this stage, day is night and night is day etc! It'll get better, just a newborn thing!
31/07/2014 at 13:01
Are with MrsB...5 hrs is a long time for a little one to be awake. I always found the better O slept in the day (1.5-2 hrs mail awake at a time) the better he slept at night. Also you say she took an ounce for comfort, if you don't already it'd be worth trying to use a dummy and building a more regular feed routine (still on demand, but trying to get consistent breaks between feeding ie every 3hrs)
I only saw HV twice other than weigh in clinic, and they never advised re: feed amounts etc. I was always led by O, so if he was constantly draining bottles I'd up it.
31/07/2014 at 19:31
At 6 weeks O did nothing but eat, cry and sleep! Our HV never told us anything about feeds, as the others have said, when he started taking pretty much all the bottle I upped by an ounce. I would rather pour an oz away that think he was still hungry or wanted to take a bit more.
I didn't know about the 2hour thing but we actually fell Into that routine without meaning to as he had awful reflux so feeding, keeping propped up and then changing took about and hour and a half and then we would settle him down for a sleep.
O is 34 weeks and honestly he couldn't go 3-8 without a nap, he is a dummy loving baby though and sometimes he will lie babbling and almost hysterically having a carry on but he's just so tired but struggles to fall asleep without the dummy. I can give him a dummy and he's out like a light in seconds. Might be worth considering if you think she is comfort sucking to settle?
O fed pretty much every 3.5-4 hours at that age but as I said he was only ever awake for half of that time, he would then fall asleep and I would feed him when he woke again.
I hope your ok, the sleep deprivation is brutal but it does get better and if it means you have to sleep a lot during the day then you just have to go with it!
31/07/2014 at 20:12
Thanks for all your responses.
I didn't deliberately keep Molly up between 3pm - 8pm yesterday or try and keep her up this morning. She just wouldn't fall asleep, and every time she did we put her down to then get on with doing something else and she woke up instantly and you'd have to start from scratch again. She seems to only be happy sleeping on you, which during the day you can suck up but at night I need sleep too and can't sleep with her on me.
We have tried dummy's, hates them 90% off the time. Sometimes she likes them but it's very very rare. I try to switch to dummy when I know she's comforting on the bottle and she spits it out, screams, we have a right little wobbler, I go back to bottle and she's asleep within 2 minutes.
At the start my HV said I had to up her milk, even though she wasn't finishing bottles, as she had been on that volume for too long and it needed to be upped, she then drank more and continued to leave the same amount at the bottom that she always leaves, (around 1/2 ounce). She never finishes a bottle ever really. I'm going to try a couple of 6 ounce bottles and see if that changes the quantity of bottles she has so that overall for the day the total ounces remains the same. Her weight gain is fine, born at 8lb 6oz and 5.4 weeks later she's 11lb 11oz.
Today my husband made her cry it out a bit. We fed her, changed her burped her, cuddled her and then put her in her pram in the Moses attachment. She screamed like she always does to be picked up and we rocked the buggy and held her hand and eventually after crying on and off she drifted off to sleep after 20 minutes. She woke up after half an hour and we went through it all over again. Then I woke her up for a feed 3 hours after her last one and she only drank 3 ounces and went straight back to sleep and stayed asleep when put in the buggy. I'm about to wake her up now as HV said set an alarm and go back to every 3 hours as she is so nocturnal. We'll see how she settles after that.
I just feel like a failure. My sister had a baby 8 weeks before me and at this age her daughter would sleep 11pm - 3am, feed, and then sleep 3.30am - 9am. She also from 8 weeks slept all the way through the night for 12 hours solid, I've managed to sneak in 2 hour naps, this morning and just now so hopefully tonight is easier. I just find this week my hormones are everywhere, my husband is back to working nights so I'm going 10pm - 2pm by myself without any help and I just need sleep. I have a step daughter aged 7 which we're doing week on week off with so just started our week off yesterday but when it's our week on I can't look after the both of them when I can't even look after myself at the moment. I don't remember the last time I ate 3 meals in the day. I just don't get a second unless someone else is around to hold Molly so I can do it. Things always feel 10 times worse when you're tired so I'm desperately hoping she's just in a really awful stage that we'll out grow
31/07/2014 at 20:22
Please don't feel like a failure because your sister's baby was sleeping more at the same age, every baby is different. My 1st daughter pretty much slept 10-12 hrs a night from about 10 wks until she was a year. My 2nd daughter is now 2 and I don't think she's ever slept for 12 hours! And I wouldn't say that I did anything differently with them.
It is awful when you're so tired though, I really hope you manage to catch up on some sleep x
31/07/2014 at 21:06
31/07/2014 at 21:09
31/07/2014 at 21:13
We have a similar situation.. I think it's too soon for the to stick to any strict routine, and at this age they don't know how to fall asleep on their own. Later on they can develope sleep associations, like dummy/white noise/bedtime routine/etc, but for now it's just whatever you can do to get them to sleep. Isla only managed 2 hrs of sleep in little spurts today since 4:30am. She will not fall asleep in her crib or chair, but needs to be rocked and it's tough putting her into the crib, but we manage it for a couple hours in the night at least.
I'm a member if a June 2014 baby Facebook group with about 70 babies and from what I've read on there it's very normal! Loads of the June babies are like this still, so don't feel like you're doing anything wrong. Sometimes Isla messes with our heads and sleeps for a 5 hour stretch in the night, but then the next night is back to her normal self. Sometimes she wants 5-oz bottles every two hours and then sometimes she'll only drink 1-oz and refuse the rest. We gave up keeping to a feeding scheduled side from making sure she doesn't go more than 4 hrs between feeds during the day, but otherwise it's just on demand. The one piece of advice I did get from the HV that I'm following is to try to make sure she doesn't stay awake for long stretches during the day (today we failed). At this age they shouldn't be awake for longer than 1-1/2to 2 hours at a time before having another nap. Otherwise they get overtired. So when she has been awake for an hour I start trying to settle her by rocking her, shushing, etc. sometimes she needs just that extra oz of milk to make her sleep, but usually if nothing else works I can shove her in the sling and she nods off after a few minutes. At night, though, if she is awake she is awake and it's so frustrating that sometimes nothing I do will settle her. Hopefully those nights will get fewer and further between as she gets older, though.
I'm going to start giving 6-oz bottles during the day, though. In the middle of the night she won't drink more than 3-5oz, but I think upping the amount in the day is possible.
I hope things start to get better soon. For both of us!
31/07/2014 at 21:19
Oh and if you're interested in joining the fb group, it's really a great resource, everyone is going through the same things and there's great advice a support. Not sure what I'd have done without them!
31/07/2014 at 21:22
Aaand one more thing: both our babies are in a wonder week now (it's based on EDD), which usually means crying more, feeding more, sleeping poorly, needing to be held and reassured all the time, etc. could be something to that...
01/08/2014 at 01:31
Wispa - I did read the wonder week. H didn't believe that we were super clingy until he looked after her on the weekend.
He's worried I'm getting PND. I feel I'm just over tired but he said the feeling like a failure bit isn't normal. In my opinion, it's still very early days, when you are tired and over whelmed with a baby that hates night time it can feel like nothing you're doing is right. My 6 week check is next week so I might bring it up then and see what the doctor says.
MrsB - I can't do the controlled crying. I was desperate to just give her a cuddle so I went for a bath and he told me how it had gone. At the moment as soon as she makes a peep I rush to get her, which won't do her any favours anyway. She grunts in her sleep when she stretches and for the first 4 weeks I picked her up with every grunt. I need her to learn to sleep a little by herself as I need to be able to sterilise her bottles and get her milk ready. Hopefully, like Wispa said, it's just the wonder week. Her sleep didn't used to be this bad. She's always been an early riser, normally 6am she'd start smiling and chatting away next to me and stay up until about 8am, but this 4am business is getting too much.
Debbydoo - thank you. Hopefully she's like your first, then I've only 3.5 weeks to go! I'm gonna make my husband take over this weekend, so tonight and tomorrow night then I should be able to sleep! I think I'm also gonna take this whole "sleep when baby sleeps" thing far more seriously. I already feel better waking up for this feed because of my naps.
03/08/2014 at 14:53
A was like this for a long long time. It's nothing you're doing or not doing. In the end I found it far easier to just give in and let him sleep on me during the day (in a sling sometimes so I could do things), at night he started off sleeping on my chest and gradually we got him cosleeping next to me. I only had the one child though, couldn't cope doing that with another child and honestly don't know what I'll do if baby girl is the same!
It is very normal though. If you think about it, it makes sense, babies like to be so close to their mothers all the time as that way they know they won't be eaten by predators. We might not live in caveman times any more but our babies don't know that. Your baby is obviously a very clever girl and knows she needs to stick close by for her own safety. That said I know full well how frustrating, demoralising and just plain tiring it is. Definitely sleep whenever you can and please know it is all very very normal.
03/08/2014 at 17:08
First of all, you aren't a failure, all babies are different and sleep through the night when they are ready.
Have you tried using a sling, she could sleep in that while you get things done, make a sandwich or whatever.
Have you tried using white noise to help her resettle when she wakes? It's hit and miss but worked brilliantly with my daughter, and not ar all with my son, worth a try though. You can download apps or a slumber bear was great here.
Have a hug, the first few months are a shock to the system and exhausting. Is there anyone that could take her for a couple of hours to let you sleep?
04/08/2014 at 10:17
I think I will invest in a sling, only reason why I hadn't was because I know my SIL cannot get her baby out of it now but that's laters problem!
I've been doing some research today on reflux and think she might have it. She sicks up more than a teaspoon, not all the time but I'd say after half her her feeds. She hiccups a lot, and is often sick after hiccuping. She's also started coughing and spluttering a lot during feeds for the last couple of weeks, which is when this 4 am business started. They say (baby centre) to help reflux remain in an upright position for half hour after feeds, which would be why we don't have the grunting and straining in the day and get it at 4am after her 10pm and 2am feeds when she's put back in her cot after a burp. She also loves to sleep sitting up but we don't let her at night. I'm not going to go to the doctors but I'm going to try and keep her upright after her feeds in the night and see if that helps her.
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