Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
03/07/2013 at 10:25
Talk to me about your age gaps between your children (or planned gaps). What made you decide on that particular age gap? Pros and cons? Is there ever a right time or do you just adapt?
03/07/2013 at 10:29
I think the key to what you have asked is you just adapt! I have nearly 3 years between my 1st and 2nd child and then 17.5 months between#2 and #3. There are pros and cons of each. It also depends on the type of child you have. My youngest is 16.5 months now and seems a lot less grown up than my middle child did at the same time (I was nearly 8 months pregnant then). I have said to some that if I was having a newborn shortly I think I would have found it a lot harder with him.
03/07/2013 at 10:32
I have 7.5 yrs between my 2 boys.
C was always going to be my only child, so I never planned it like that. As it turned out, it is a great gap, in that C was at school, so I got plenty of one on one time with J, and C was old enough to help, and to understand the new baby needed a lot of attention.
Cons - Starting with all the baby stuff again.
I think whatever the gap, you just adapt. You have to, really.
03/07/2013 at 10:45
There will be exactly two years between our two. Give or take a Few days. We planned it that way. The time of year I fell PG works really well with my job and by the time Isla was 14 months we felt ready for another baby. There is 18 months between me and my sis and we've always been close and I wanted similar for Isla. I didn't want to leave it too long as I thought having a newborn again after a big gap would be blinking hard. I'm already too used to a full nights sleep!!
03/07/2013 at 10:46
I have 25 months between my two and there will be 25 months between J and the new baby too. I like my age gap, I'm sure it will be hard work when the baby comes along, esp as my eldest doesn't start school till next year but we wanted the baby days out the way and I couldn't imagine having a big gap then having to go back to sleepless nights
03/07/2013 at 10:56
Hopefully we'll have about a 5 year gap - there's no way I could have coped with another baby at any time in the last 4 years with C being such a high needs child without me going mad (or madder than I have done!) I like the idea of C being older and more able to do things when we have another baby rather than him also being so young and needing everything done for him, plus he'll be at school so I'll have time on my own with the baby to go to groups etc like I did with him.
03/07/2013 at 11:48
We have 2 1/2 years which has worked out okay, but I think all age gaps ahve pro's and con's. Something I will think about more if (that's a very big if) I ever have any more is childcare costs as its been a difficult few months pay wise for us with 2 in childcare.
03/07/2013 at 12:06
I wanted ideally a 2.5 year age gap, but b/c of miscarriages I ended up with 3y2m age gap. TBH it worked out pretty well as the oldest was potty trained and at preschool four mornings a week, if baby had been earlier would have had 2 in nappies and no preschool break. we don't have any family nearby so having the few hours in the morning to focus on the baby was lovely, and our son had some time to play with friends without having the baby around. it is hard going back to newborn days but TBH our son still wasn't great at night but he got better after the baby arrived. I think any age gap has pros and cons, if there was a bigger gap I would have had more time with the baby, smaller they would have more common interests. but its not too apparent and now she's older she can pretty much keep up with her brother.
03/07/2013 at 12:35
We have 13 months between our two. It wasn't ideal, and it wasn't planned like that, but it's worked out ok. E and S generally play nicely together and are both into the same kinds of things. We didn't have any jealousy from E, as really she was too young to understand when S came along and was taking all the attention. S adores E and follows her around like a lost sheep.
03/07/2013 at 12:40
Ideally I'd like a 3-year age gap. Don't fancy 2 in nappies at the same time, and T will get a funded nursery place once he's 3 so financially it would be a good gap too! Are yout alking about a second one McS? x
03/07/2013 at 13:10
Really appreciate your views, thanks ladies. I'd always thought 2/3years but SIL is pregnant now (there will be 18m between her two) and I'm feeling a bit broody. But, I know I wouldn't cope well with a very small gap at the same time. Something to think about next year I think :)
03/07/2013 at 13:21
I have 18 months between 1 & 2 and it will be just short of 4 yrs between 2 & 3.
18 months worked well for us, it was t planned but I do like the small gap now.
03/07/2013 at 13:23
12.5 months. I'd say its just getting to the really hard bit now that they are two and three. Before that it wasn't really as hard as people always assume. Now they are constantly fighting and all I do all day is shout! E goes to preschool which I thought would help ease it up but if anything the age they are just means they argue about everything! J starts preschool soon so hoping it will help... Having said all this I don't think a bigger age gap is for me, there's no way I'm returning to the baby days now I've done them.
03/07/2013 at 13:40
By the time this one arrives, L will be 4 1/2 and starting school the same week! I initially wanted about a 2-2.5 year gap.
But I am glad that I waited, although it wasn't for trying, but I am happy that i will now have one on one time with this baby when L is at school, like i did with L and that is what i am looking forward to. My SIL has just had a baby and L is so patient with the baby and very very helpful and I cant wait for that.
03/07/2013 at 14:28
We have 2y7m between #1 and #2 and there will be 3y1m between #2 and #3. Pros for me are that the older ones were potty trained before the new baby arrived and were sleeping relatively well, as well as being generally a bit more independent and less reliant on me. When #3 arrives, #1 will be at school all day (starts Year 1 in Sept) and #2 will be at preschool every morning, so I've only ever had one in childcare to pay for which is a huge bonus. I think that whatever gap you have you make work though, there is no ideal.
03/07/2013 at 16:31
We'll have a 6yr 10 month age gap which I'm actually quite happy about. I feel I'll have loads of time with baby whilst M at school
H is keen for 3, so I'm not sure how much if an age gap to try for given how long it took to conceive this one. I don't think I'd like any more than 3 years as that'd make me almost 38 when #3 born so maybe 2.5 yrs but I'd also be a bit nervous about having a small gap.
I think for us, we'll just stop using contraception when baby's a year and see what happens
03/07/2013 at 17:16
We'll have a 27-28 month gap. My initial plan was to have a gap closer to 18m, but a few reasons meant that wasn't to be. My reasoning behind wanting a smaller gap was that I didn't want A to have to wait too long until the younger was old enough to do things, such as skiing. I was broody for a 2nd before my first was born.
Looking back to when A was 18m I think I would have struggled a bit, but for the relatively short time babies are babies it wouldn't have been the end of the world. If anything I think his little world will be more disrupted now than it would have been 6 months ago when he wasn't so set in his ways or in a years time when he may understand more. I'm sure there'll be some problems but his speech and understanding is at a level now where I think we'll cope ok. Pregnancy is a lot easier now than it would have been 6-12 months ago when he was a less reliable walker.
I also think my slightly bigger than intended gap will add to the gender difference meaning they'll have less in common as they grow up, but who's to know if that will be the case.
There are pros and cons to all gaps, it depends on a lot of things.
03/07/2013 at 17:51
We have a 27 month gap between the girls and will have a 6 and 4 year gap between the girls and No. 3. Of course I'm not sure what that will bring but the 27 month gap has been good. K was toilet trained when A came along and as they have got older they play nicely (most of the time) and enjoy the same things (park, dolls, ballet, swimming etc). The 6 and 4 year gap I'm not sure about - at the moment K is really excited and I know she'll be a great help but as they get older it's going to be hard as their interests and needs will be very different. For example, we've waited to go to theme parks until A is big enough to go on the same rides as K as it would cause too much grief to try and explain to her why she can't do the same things. Having said that, this pregnancy was unplanned so we'll just go with the flow as there's not much we can do about it now! It'll work out fine in the end.
03/07/2013 at 18:09
All being well we're going to have a 4 and a half year age gap, I didn't meet my H til Jude was 2 and I did have a mmc when we'd not been together long, ttc didn't work after that so we had a break and I've just fallen pregnant. Tbh I can really see the advantages of this gap, Jude will have been at school 6m so should be settled and I'll get time alone with the baby as well as not feeling guilty for having 1-1 time with J after school. He's potty trained, sleeps through, can get himself dressed etc so is a lot less reliant on me which will help.
03/07/2013 at 18:38
I have 3 years and 18 days! If William would have lived it would have been 27 months.
If we have another I'm aiming for over 3 year gap, it was fab having L potty trained, L had his free nursery hours, could speak fully, was totally independent which meant I could feed/take care if Isaac without L tantrum ing because I couldn't understand him or having to change 2 lots of nappies or go through potty training with a toddler and newborn eugh!
We are looking at Ttc again when Isaac 2/2.5 for a 3/3.5 year gap and a 6/6.5 year gap
Isaac is 17 months and L 4 and they play really well together which is loveky
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