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21/09/2013 at 23:09
H is almost 8 months and since 4 months his sleep has been awful. He's gone from sleeping through the night to waking multiply times, sleeping on his own in his Moses basket to now only settling in my bed if I'm next to him and from settling at around 7.30 and sleeping in the eve to being awake all evening and not settling until 11pm at the earliest.
what can I do to help things improve. It's been going on so long now it's really taking its toll on our family and H is tired all evening but he just fights sleep. He rolls around on the floor all eve and is into everything so needs constant watching and we just get no down time. He goes out in the day to play sessions and outdoor walks, he's on solids and breast milk but nothing seems to affect how he sleeps.
he doesn't have a routine as such as he's always been bf on demand.
naps in the day vary - he wil sleep in the car and pushchair and sometimes have a morning and/or afternoon nap but often fights these as well.
its starting to affect how my H bonds with him and he can't cope with the constantness and lack of break so I'm getting desperate!
thsnk you for any suggestions
22/09/2013 at 04:41
I really feel for you LM, that sounds so tough, especially with no break in the evening before a disrupted night, you must be exhausted.
Have you heard of pick up / put down, the baby whisperer? Smarties has had amazing success in just its first few days with her lo who wouldn't sleep in his crib and woke multiple times per night.
Hopefully someone with experience can help, I hope it gets easier soon and H gets the rest he needs x
22/09/2013 at 08:22
Thanks lamby. I've heard people talk of it but not sure in the details. Is it like controlled crying as I don't really want to leave him crying if I can help it, I'm too weak!
22/09/2013 at 08:23
We've been trying pick-up/put down the last few days as A's sleep was awful and we reached our breaking point last week when she was only sleeping on me, or if we put her in her cot she would wake every 10 minutes. I was convinced it wouldn't work, but 2 days in and we are making some good progress. She even settled herself last night!!
We have been doing it alongside trying to introduce a better routine during the day so that she has a better nap routine and it better rested for the night. It's hard work and we're not entirely sure we're doing it exactly as the book describes, but we're doing our best and it does seem to be helping :)
22/09/2013 at 08:25
It doesn't stop crying, but you are with them the whole time reassuring them so they're not alone and don't feel abandoned. They will cry because you're making them do something they're not used to, but they're crying because they don't know how to go to sleep that way and are frustrated, not because they hate you :)
22/09/2013 at 08:30
Thanks nenas - it might not be too bad if we are in the room with him. Ill try and read up on the principles.
It's awful having a non sleeper isn't it, I totally know what you mean about reaching breaking point. I think we need to introduce more of a routine as well - how do you find it works if you are out and about?
22/09/2013 at 14:53
I total know how you feel. E was so good, slept through early and then just broke! First teeth, then a cold and then we weaned and found that she real was struggling with lactose, then teeth but all of those meant E slept very poorly. It wasn't until she could crawl, standard and cruise that she finally settled so in our house all we had to do was wait. We don't do controlled crying either and I couldn't let her cry as she holds her breathe so if she did stop id neve know if she's sleeping or just held her breathe so long she passed out!
Otherwise, you say you have no routine, but what do you do to get him to sleep? Here we have a link of activities that lead to bedtime which generally we speed up and slow down depending on Es mood. We'll have tea together at 6pm, Tv off or E facing away from it. Thenwwe play and have cuddles and a bath if needed keeping calm if possible or crazy if that's her mood. We'll take her upstairs to the dimly lit room, nappy changes and new clothes and do bottle, sleeping bag, story, dummy, comforter and then bed. She knows now what is going to happen. If we get to the going upstairs stage and she's wide awake and mad I put her in the sling and carry on with my jobs, which doesn't send here to sleep as she noses at me but keeps her calm enough and helps her wind down. We aim for 7pm bedtime but sometime she is knackered at 6.30 is vest, occasionally its 7.30 depending on when she woke up from her last nap.
22/09/2013 at 16:13
Well we've only been doing it since friday and we're finding it difficult to keep to any kind of routone if we're out and about. She's too nosy so won't fall asleep (unless in the car, bit often wakes before too long) and doesn't feed properly as there's too many distractions. I don't really know if easy is going to work for us, but so far the pu/pd is slowly but surely making progress
22/09/2013 at 17:52
A routine daytime wise doesn't work for us either Nenas. We've got different activities at different times on different days so I can't run my life around Es nap times else we'd be housebound and fed up haha x
22/09/2013 at 21:07
As Lamby said we've had huge success with pupd...its not perfect but things are better! It's very gentle,if they cry youpick them up and repeat. The first day I did 120+ and it was tiring but now it is either no pickups or just a few :-) It's taught me to listen to his different crys, I don't agree with everything the baby whisperer says but some of it is really good. Hugs though, you must be knackered x
23/09/2013 at 19:21
Like you LM a routine is really hard for us to fit in ( i know it's through choice but I can't stay in all day). We have groups most days from 10.30 to 12 and most tines he won't nap before then. I winder if it will be better once he's waking, he's so desperate to be on the move.
I might try sine if the principles of pupd just to try and rvnxiurage self settling.
Once asleep, if stirring do you find your babies force themselves awake? h dies by rubbing his eyes toll he wakes but I've no idea why?
23/09/2013 at 20:24
Yep, once he stirs he wakes...these sleep cycles have a lot to answer for :-(
23/09/2013 at 20:39
Yep, its a bl00dy nightmare the face rubbing, she can never just settle between sleep cycles...very annoying
23/09/2013 at 20:48
Oh god, F is a massive face rubber and can't seem to settle between cycles, I was hoping it would get better! How often does your lo wake in the night then smarties? Do you do pu/pd then? F wakes then noisily eats his hands for a bit before starting to cry a little. I think I rush to settle him but I find it difficult to lie there listening to him!
23/09/2013 at 20:57
Jrj I'm the same with my lo. He regularly wakes anytime
Between 3 and 5am and has a chat to himself... Then hand chewing and and a bit of crying. As I'm awake and next to him I end up settling him on me and often co sleeping for a bit.. I'm sure if I left him he may settle himself...
24/09/2013 at 09:17
BB it's so frustrating isn't it? Was going to try sleep training as we have been cosleeping half the night for a few weeks but maybe it would be easier to wait until he is in his own room? Although I'll be back at work then! Tbh I love cuddling him in bed but don't want to leave it too late...
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