Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
17/04/2013 at 10:45
Hi ladies I just wondered if I could have you opinions on whether I am being an over protective mum or whether I am/was right.
Since a was born (she is 12 weeks tomorrow and my first baby) she has had yellow sticky stuff in her eyes most days several times a day, at an appt she had with a doctor at 4 weeks old I mentioned it and the doctor dismissed it. Now as it has continued and seems to have worsened a little as one eye is now getting watery and the other is abit red under it at times and she keeps rubbing them I took her to the doctor. Typically her eyes werent at all sticky or watery while we were there. The first thing the doctor did was comment about her snow suit and seemed to be suggesting it was too much to be wearing but its quite cold here this morning and her alternative was a little coat but its quite thin so I thought she would be cold. Anyway I think I made the right choice there. The doctor looked at her eyes and was very thorough and said they are really healthy blah blah blah and just to bathe them with baby shampoo in warm water twice a day and that some babies have sticky eyes. I did feel like abit of a wally taking her after he said all that but its best to be checked out if your not sure right? I did have another concern, some of you may know that I have heart problems and had to have open heart surgery, The doctor saw my scar and brought it up an asked about A's heart so I told him that she doesnt have a murmur but thats all I know as he her has never been checked properly by scan or anything and my whole pregnancy A's heart was ignored and dismissed everything was about me. He could see that her having the heart problem I did was a concern to me and said it isnt hereditary and if she did have it it isnt that serious anyway. Well mine was serious at 21 I only had a life expectancy of 40 because of it. He also said that if I had a leaking heart valve then that could be hereditary and is more serious - I do have a leaking heart valve, It was diagnosed about 6 months ago. Even being given all this information he seemed to be quite oh it will be fine she doesnt need further checks but if you really really want it then I will refer you to a paed.
I feel like a really over protective mum now, Am I right to be concerned about A's heart? The doctor dismissed it because no one showed concern over it while I was pregnant but that because everyone was focussing on me and the sonographer at my 20 week scan refused to do anymore than routine checks because the cardiologist told me to request further checks rather than asking her herself.
H thinks I should write everything down and speak to the doctor again and request referal as it will put my mind at ease and his too as he is concerned as well.
What do you think? What would you do?
Thanks and sorry its long and rambly x
17/04/2013 at 11:03
I think you have very legitimate reasons for wanting A to be referred to a specialist, so ask. If there is nothing wrong then great, but if there is she would need to be monitored I'm guessing so best to know. I find it strange that no medical people have thought it necessary to refer further!
17/04/2013 at 11:05
In your shoes i'd go ahead and request the referal. If it's nothing, then great - I don't see an issue with that, as you had cause for concern IYSWIM?
You're not being overprotective IMO, just a concerned mother, and again IMO that is your role, which to me just makes you a good Mom.
You follow your instinct because again IMO that is normally not far off of the mark.
17/04/2013 at 11:12
I'd request a referral too - better safe than sorry, and if there is any problems then I'd rather know now than wait for them to cause her issues. Not overprotective at all, just a concerned and loving mother.
17/04/2013 at 11:27
I would ask for a referral. It will put your mind at ease to know.
When I was pregnant with W at my booking in appt where they ask all your family health history we told them there is a strong history of VSD (hole in the heart) in H family. h, his dad, and his grandma all had a VSD. Midwife wrote in big capitals in my notes **paed alert/ family history of vsd** and she said it was so when baby was born the paediatricians would know she needed to be checked.
At 20 week scan they just did the normal checks, said everything looked fine but its not always seen on a scan so she would be checked at birth.
A couple of days after she was born she had a scan of her heart. They said everything was fine but that they would also check her 3 months later to be double certain.
This time I told the mw at booking in ( different mw, living in a different area) and she has wrote about a VSD briefly in the notes but no mention about the baby being checked at birth. I asked the mw at my 12 week scan and they said to tell the consultant when I see them in two weeks. I get the feeling I will have to push for the tests to be done this time, but I will nag as much as I need to as I don't want it being overlooked.
In your position I would definately request a referral, and really push the issue. I'm sure everything will be fine but its best to know for sure as otherwise it will be in the back of your mind wondering.
17/04/2013 at 11:30
I'd request referral for the heart concerns for definite.
As for eyes I'd just keep an eye on them, and take A back in of they stay really gunky, making sure to leave them gunky for the appointment.
Where in the UK are you? I'd not have baby in a snow suit here in Berkshire TBH as it's very mild (13 deg) - I'd layer with blankets. But it depends on the temp/weather where you are.
17/04/2013 at 11:32
Thank you everyone I thought I was right I just was made to feel over protective and wondered if I was wrong. I will speak to the doctor and get her refered.
Jellytot - I had an asd so same problem just a different area and now have a leaking mitral valve. Im sure everything is fine but I need peace of mind if nothing else.
I forgot to say that whilst the doctor has said its not hereditary and fine my cousin has an asd (much smaller and less of a problem than mine was) and also her son is being investigated for the same problem. Definately going to insist on her being checked out.
Thanks again x
17/04/2013 at 12:20
We were told VSD (so I'm assuming asd would be the same) was hereditary.
Until my H was born apparently it was thought to only be passed on by a mother- ie if a man had it he wouldn't pass it to his children, but if the woman had it she could.
H's grandma passed it to H's dad. When H was born he was very ill for six months, lost loads of weight etc, and eventually age 6 mth was diagnosed with VSD and the doctors were all very excited about the fact it had been passed on by the father not the mother as there had been no recordings of a man passing it on until then! ( H's parents were not exactly excited understandably!)
17/04/2013 at 16:17
There is nothing wrong with being over protective if it is for the benefit of your child, the GP has said you can have a referral so I would take him up on the offer, it is going to put your mind at rest if nothing else and stop you worrying.
As for the eyes, yep gunky eyes are quite normal for babies. Personally I wouldn't be using baby shampoo anywhere near eyes and that seems a very odd suggestion to me. Cooled boiled water, wipe with cotton wool starting from the inside corner of the eye and wiping outwards. One wipe for each bit of cotton wool.
I'm not sure about the snow suit tbh, Zoe was born in the January and there was thick snow but I never used one.
17/04/2013 at 16:29
I'd get a referral. Completely agree with JB re the eyes! Baby shampoo?! Seriously?
17/04/2013 at 16:38
Thanks for the input everyone we are definitely going to go for a referal just to be sure she is ok. On the snowsuit thing its not a big thick fluffy thing more of a thick baby grow/thin all in one and also im far from convinced about using baby shampoo on her eyes and intend to stick with cool boiled water.
17/04/2013 at 17:24
Unless you're BF in which case breast milk is great for clearing gunky eyes. Feels a bit strange at first but it does work.
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