Advice please girls - am I overreacting?!

My SIL had her baby yesterday morning. My brother called me about an hour after the birth to announce the news, and we were of course over the moon for them. Later, I went onto FaceBook and saw that my SIL's sister had announced the birth (time, weight, sex, name etc...) pretty much straight away which I thought was a bit bad of her really, as if I had happened to log on before my brother had called, I would have found out on there first!

Same thing happened when they had the sexing scan. I found out from her sisters status that she was 'so pleased to be expecting another niece!'. Grr. Its not her place to share their news?!

Anyway, I called my brother at about 2pm yesterday and asked if they were having visitors, he said yes of course, visiting time at the hospital was from 3pm, but he was hoping to be home by then - he would check with the midwives and text me. So I called OH and asked him to come straight home from Football as we were off to see my niece! So excited...

No text, no phone call - phone was switched off for the rest of the evening. I completely understood that maybe they didn't want visitors, and just wanted some time with their new baby, so thought I would speak to him today, and arrange a time to pop over next weekend (as OH doesnt get home from work until 8pm most week nights).

Then, I log onto Facebook again, about 9pm, and SIL's sister has uploaded a whole album of pics of the baby. All her family were over my brothers last night!

I cant believe the first I have seen of my niece is on the blooming internet!!!!! I am so upset. Still haven't spoken to my brother, but am just so annoyed at the whole situation.

I had a little cry about it last night, which I am the first to admit was an little OTT and prob my hormones, but is it wrong that it has upset me this much? Do I have a right to be a little bit p!ssed off by the whole thing?

OH seems to think that its all my hormones, and 'I will feel better in the morning' - but I don't! I am even more annoyed!!

32+6

i know what you mean. i think people should not share other peoples news but some people dont care. i have found out today i am having a girl and have texted some people, but have friends i am seeing on friday who dont know i am pg yet. i have deactivated my fb acocunt until the weekend, have already thought about doing the same when i go into labour!

calleigh with pink bump!
20+6

I'd be FUMING if someone else announced my Baby into the world!!

I have a facebook account, and I must admit - I have removed my inaws from it! lol I now only have my mum and dad and brother and they will be told that I DONT want it plastered all over facebook. Unless of course its ME doing the plastering!

She must be VERY close to her Sister and thats why she's been there and doing pics etc etc

Mind you I know for a fact that my stupid MIL will be phoning the whole of her clan to tell them all my news, so I'm not even bothering sending birth anouncment cards! sometimes people are just rude and dont realise its MY news to broadcast, but then theres not alot we can do really. Although I have told my huby I dont want him to phone people straight away anyway! I'd rather he waitied until the next day to be honest so we have privacy and he's not answering his poxy mobile when he should be concentrating on me and the baby!

She will obviously be closer to her sister than she will to any sister-in-law. but I'm sure your brother will be desperate for you to go! so hang tight you'll get your turn! and it would be better if all the others weren't there wouldn't it?

Its a known fact though that the mother of the babys family and friends will get more of a 'look-in' on baby and the babys dads family and friends come second, I know its that way thoughtout our family and has been the same when friends of mine have babies too.

Dont take it to heart too much.

My hubby doesnt even like his sister and her hubby at the moment so I dont think he'll even be ringing them! I expect he'll just text a photo to all the relatives and that will keep them at bay for a week! I hope!

37+5
xxx

Hvae to be honest i admit that i would feel a little upset about this. I know 100% (not living near my brother) that when his baby is born in Jan 2010 he'll send me a pic by text as i won't get there for a week or so at least. Maybe also the hormones make it worse but still if he didn't want visitors then fine we can all understand that but to have them abd turn his phone off without so much as a pic text or something i feel is a little bit saddening.

Thanks girls - appreciate your thoughts. Its so hard to tell if I am just being an over sensitive, hormonal freak, or if my feelings are actually valid!

I completely appreciate that her & her sister are close, but I really dont think she has the right to broadcast pics of the baby so early, when other CLOSE family havent even met her yet? I am really upset at my brother too though, as still not so much as a text.

Maybe I am over-reacting? I dont know!?

Good for me to vent and share my frustrations with you lovely ladies though!

Thanks for your replies xx

I can totally understand you feel annoyed that he has not text/phoned when he SAID he would to arrange you going over, only to not bother then you find out others have been going instead when you assumed they were having 'quiet time'

He shouldn't have said he would ring to be honest. but he IS a bloke after all!

I am different and would not take offence at all! as I just want to be left alone after my birth and that includes everyone! well except hubby as long as he behaves lol!! When Hubbys sister had her baby we were phoned constantly by the poxy MIL telling us which timeslots we were to fit into to go into hospital and on what day etc etc! this is NOT right and I did't like being TOLD by the MIL and would rather have been asked directly by his sister!!

Hence we didn't go, they were having non-stop visitors because of the MIL, and I couldn't help but think that we should wait until it had all died down! We did and visited after a couple of weeks at their home. They were STILL flustered by all the visitors they had had over that two weeks, knackered out, and I could tell they wanted to be left to it, and rightly so. We didn't stay long. HOWEVER, they did text and photo to everyone who didnt go visit straightaway after a day or two-
so thats the least your brother could do!

I bet his feet haven't touched he ground to be honest, with new baby, visitors, no sleep etc

Spare a thought for him though - he could have been BOMBARDED by this Sister of hers!! Maybe she invited herself over, maybe she took photos and posted them not thinking about others as she is completely unaware that noone else has had a look? or maybe she knows not many other people have had the chance and can see that her sister doesn't want many visitors so has posted them for everyones benefit? and to protect her sister from all and sundry (and thats not aimed at you) knocking the door and ringing?
I dont think you should be shedding any tears over it though!
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about her posting pics of the baby. If anyone should be pissed off about it it should the Mother & Father of the baby. do they know she's done it? maybe they WANTED her to to save them a job? and because they are feeling guilty that they aren't up to seeing EVERYONE yet?

Just text your Brother and say something like "know you busy, would love a text pic of the baby as we dont want to impose until you want us"!
I'm sure its nothing major for you to worry about and he's probably so busy! so dont make him feel too bad! but that text will surely make him see that you are waiting to be WANTED!

On the other hand - you could always invite them to your house for dinner, maybe they'll appreciate a cooked dinner (or takeaway!) and time away from their house and everyone else?

Good luck! xxxx