08/10/2013 at 13:41
I know I havent been here for a long time (actively avoiding would be the best way to describe it!) but I wanted to ask if I'm wrong on something.
Someone I know, (not a close friend, more a colleague) has a baby, who is 8 weeks old.
She told me the other day that the baby is now sleeping in their own room for 4 hours in the evening. I am assuming then that the baby feeds and goes in with them overnight - but my gut feeling is that 8 weeks is too young to be on their own, upstairs? Am I wrong?
I am 100% happy to be corrected!
When i first read the message I thought she'd said the baby was on their own overnight, all night which I know is not right at 8 weeks, but is a 4 hour period ok?
08/10/2013 at 13:43
I know plenty of people who have moved their babies into their own room from even younger and at that age - for the whole night. I know the guidelines say not to do this, but with all the video monitors that exist now I'm not entirely sure I understand why.
08/10/2013 at 13:44
Nope you're not wrong, in fact I believe that the first sleep is the most important Time they aren't alone, (happy to be corrected) as they share with you to avoid a deep sleep and forgetting to breathe. Guidelines are that LO should be with you for all sleeps, including naps and overnight until 6 months.
08/10/2013 at 13:45
Thats what I thought LM.
08/10/2013 at 13:47
Pepperoni - google SIDS or sudden infant death guidelines, some on the nhs site and a fsids site too, but to summarise really high level, hearing you breathe helps them to remember to breathe too, no monitors can replace this. A video certainly can't, and a movement alarm can tell you if your baby has died from SIDS, but can't prevent it.
08/10/2013 at 13:51
Thanks LM, useful to know. Their babies are fine, but seeing those around you doing things a certain way, and it working (they all sleep right through etc) does make you start to think there is no harm and maybe you should do the same etc. Now I understand the guidelines a bit more, I'll obviously follow them when its my turn.
It must be really hard to organise though - you'd have to either go up to the bedroom when they do, or they have to fall asleep in a crib or similar whilst your downstairs watching TV, then go up when you do? It must be hard to develop a routine?
08/10/2013 at 13:53
What LM said, it's all about baby being able to hear you breathe/make noise so they don't fall into a too deep a sleep and forget to breathe.
at night time Isla would go down in her Moses basket in the living room with us then we would carry the Moses up stairs with us when we went up to bed. At 8 weeks I wouldn't expect to be in any sort of routine.
08/10/2013 at 13:54
I had no idea that was what it was about! Learn something new everyday.
08/10/2013 at 14:00
That's the issue isn't it. My SIL put my niece into her own room right away and she's slept through from ten days old. However if you've read and understand why that was, I personally would rAther a non sleeping through newborn than one who sleeps through but has a higher chance of not waking up in the morning. Though it's easy to say this as E slept well, other than feeds. Which brings me onto another point, a baby of that age shouldn't sleep through, it needs regular feeds.. And a hungry baby can be a very deep sleeping one as well as a screaming one (though e is the latter).
Routine wise E went to bed when we did, slept in the carrycot when she fancied through the day and evening so her routine was whatever we wanted it to be. Trying to get such a teeny baby into a routine is very hard anyway as they change daily and weekly. Often they'll set their own but ultimately, if you can't make sacrifices for little months of your babies life? Again that leads me to other questions.
08/10/2013 at 14:03
Basically what LM said. L stayed in his Moses basket with us in the living room. But I took Isaac up to bed about 7/8 and I either went in laptop or watched TV or went to sleep if knackered. 8 weeks old I wouldn't even be considering a routine, but then we actually don't have any set routines now and my 2 are 4 and 1, I just do whatever really
08/10/2013 at 14:05
LM - of course. I wasn't suggesting I wouldn't make sacrifices, just trying to understand how people manage it. I can't imagine a baby can sleep with the TV blaring, but maybe they can. And I can't imagine all parents going to bed at 7pm when their little ones do either, but could be wrong. All the people I'm surrounded by with little ones are the ones who put their babies in their own room... so you can see why I don't understand how those who follow the guidelines do things.
08/10/2013 at 14:06
Cherry Pie - Thanks, I understand. I think I'll be able to use this to my advantage - to get a TV in our bedroom! :-)
08/10/2013 at 14:23
I would have thought its better to have noises etc when baby is sleeping otherwise they will never be able to sleep unless its completely quiet?
08/10/2013 at 14:24
I think these issues are tough to decide on as every parent has different ideas. My friend put her 4 week old in the nursery on his own as she felt the SIDS risk was so small it outweighed the fact that they all slept better in separate rooms.
Now i am a worrier so G was in with us till 8 months and i expect P will be too. For me the thought of me putting her in her own room earlier than 6 months and something awful happening is just too unbearable to think about. I would never ever forgive myself and i would rather have 6 months of sleepless nights than put her in her own room earlier. P sleeps in her bouncy chair in the front room, the baby carrier, buggy or car seat for daytime/evening naps then comes to bed with us around 9pm. I also love hearing her snuffling and shuffling about in the night. The newborn days are gone so quickly and those are the moments i cherish. I love waking up and peering into her crib and seeing her either sleeping or beaming up and me and getting excited to see my face.
08/10/2013 at 14:27
Yes also meant to say when P sleeps in the front room we carry on as normal noise-wise. We did the same with G and she now sleeps through anything - even 3 smoke alarms going off (one outside her bedroom door) at 2am for 10 mins, P crying for milk in the night and huge thunderstorms!
08/10/2013 at 14:29
Sorry that was really confrontational, I didn't mean you as In A questioning way, I meant generally iykwim. Tbh some days I did go to bed at 7pm, especially if I were doing two nighttime feeds, haha,but generally I think, you just find a way to make it work and also adapt your routine too, some days I was desperate for her last feed, if she wanted says. 9.30 bedtime haha.I'm also very lucky that E will sleep anywhere if it's sleep time, I can Hoover around her and she won't wake, can transfer from one place to another, can dream feed if she's hungry enough change her nappy haha. I think you generally though scope out what suits your baby any adapt.. But it's about what is important, and I'm not saying what is and what isn't iykwim but to us, SIDS was the mOut important thing so whatever had to give, had to give, others apply it to the level they are happy with eg leaving baby to sleep while they shower etc but you kind if have to read it and find you're own way on it, it is only a guideline, though as you can tell, an important one in our household.
08/10/2013 at 14:35
No LM - I knew what you meant, don't worry! :-)
08/10/2013 at 19:38
As everyone has said the guidelines are that baby has all sleeps in the same room as you until 6 mths. They are guidelines though, not the law, so if a parent chooses not to follow them that is a decision for them to make for themselves.
I can't see now who said about babies sleeping through, well both Zoe slept through (as in 8pm to 8am with no feeds) from 10 weeks old and Olra started doing it at 8 weeks. They were both in with me. I think whether baby sleeps through or not is entirely to do with the baby and nothing to do with where they sleep or anything else controlled by the parents. As for evenings, well Orla is currently asleep in the bouncy chair and then when i go to bed I will take her with me.
08/10/2013 at 19:57
C comes everywhere with us and will until 6 months around the house in her bouncy chair or moses basket, Ive known people leave babies in their own room from birth alone *shudder* to us its just not worth the risk x
08/10/2013 at 20:03
Also i always imagine how scary it must be for a newborn. One minute all warm and safe in mummy where its quiet to suddenly being in the big scary wide world with all these loud sounds and smells. I personally think they need to know mummy is close by for comfort.
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