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19/08/2013 at 14:27
Been more of a lurker lately but my MIL has real peed me off lately, we have always had a strained relationship since she refused to come to our wedding but now we have M sh appears to do everything she can to wind me up!
i won't bore you with all the details but just a bit of background, she wasn't happy with me bfing as she couldn't feed m and kept oteasing me how long I was going to keep it up for and that m would grow up to be needy and grizzly!!!! Constantly questions why I would do things from BLW to controlled crying, everything!
we have (since birth) tried to instill a good bedtime routine, from 6 not having visitors, bath time, story and bed, since I started back work I would leave at 6 pm for work, I would phone h when I got to work and his parents would be there, used to really wind me up that h would not say anything but we had told them from the start about not visiting late in the evening, my parents or sister has never called after 6, it may seem over the top bit he is in a lovely routine now! Unfortunately we had to rely on her to do bedtime a few days aafraid dispite explaining about a million times that he has a bath and stays upstairs for a story has milk then bed she decides it's a good idea for him to have a bath and in his pjs play out the back in the mud!
We also have a draw with all new clothes for Matthew in, I hate waste so only take the tags off if he has grown out of other clothes, he has so many clothes its unbelievable, so if we don't use them we sell them on eBay to buy him the size up clothes, the last 3 times she has looked after him she has put him in new clothes, dispite there being clothes left out for him to wear, and dispite H fasting her To not take tags off the clothes after she did it the first time. So I get home from nights this morning and he is in a complete new outfit, again his clothes were out for him to wear, I was furious, so I asked why he had new clothes on when his clothes were out, she said it was the first thing she could find, so I called her on it saying his clothes were out and the wardrobe full of other clothes and there was no need to put new clothes on him.
H says he is going to speak with her again!!! But how do I handle this as its really starting to get to me that she continues to do this stuff!!
Sorry to come back with a needy post. H and I are going to relate for councelling for other issues but I think that this week she will come up! The counselled had already told my h that he burys his head in the sand!
19/08/2013 at 14:39
I'm sorry your having issues with your mil. I do too but lets no there.
I would ask her why she insists on doing things her way when this is your child. I did this with my mum and she then realised that what she's doing isn't hurting D but it was against what the way we wanted to do things. Can you store your unworn clothes elsewhere until she gets the message? Are these clothes she's bought and wants to make sure he wears them?
I hope it all gets sorted soon for you xx
19/08/2013 at 15:39
Nope not clothes she bought, which I probably could understand more!
19/08/2013 at 15:44
You need to speak to her again. Tell her you really appreciate all her help but you really need to keep to the routine and hide all the new clothes. Seriously, lock them away somewhere.
Does she let him back down stairs again so she can spend time with him? I would ask and maybe suggest a proper play day with her instead where she can do playing in the mud. Not after his bath.
19/08/2013 at 16:06
Nope she was with him the whole day, absolutely no reason for it!
19/08/2013 at 16:10
She sounds like a nightmare and total pita, think your H needs to step up and speak up. Some things sound minor enough but playing in mud at night after a bath is just silly. I would also hide clothes, sounds like that is being done to wind you up!
19/08/2013 at 16:13
I'd have to say something or get my H to say something. We're also quite strict about our bedtime routine and I would be feet upset and frustrated if someone didn't follow it. Best of luck!
19/08/2013 at 16:31
The bedtime routine thing would really irritate me too. It's one thing we do not like being altered. I can trust my family to stick to it but would never trust MIL to be strict with it. I hope your H can say something to help the situation x
19/08/2013 at 16:44
Thankfully she is going away for a week Wednesday, only a week unfortunately!!!
H said he is going to phone her tonight as I did go a little OTT at him this morning!!! But like a mammys boy that he is I don't trust him to actually say anything too her, AND he won't let me say anything as he is worried that we will argue!! TBH I would welcome a full blown argument so everything is out in the open and no more *** footing around!!!!
Thank you for your replies ladies, I know it's a bit trivial but she just gets my goat up!!! X
19/08/2013 at 17:07
Your H sounds like mine. It drives me nuts x
Its not trivial at all.
19/08/2013 at 17:16
I wouldn't be happy if my MIL did this either, and with H not putting his foot down it makes it harder!
It's not trivial at all! Esp the visiting/calling after 18:00, If your parents/family can do that then so can they!!
19/08/2013 at 19:32
Think I may be going against the grain here but was there any harm caused, has it now ruined his bedtime routine and struggling to get back into it? Pick the battles and I think if no harm done I would let it slide.
As others have suggested in future I would move the new clothes so she couldn't use them still talk to her about it but maybe meet in the middle somewhere that you are both happy with?
19/08/2013 at 20:09
I get why the being there after 6pm thing annoys you, but I think you're being a bit precious about the clothes. I'm sure she's not doing it to annoy you, but because she things he'll look cute in the outfit!
I think sometimes you can tell people something but although they hear it, they don't always take in what you're saying.
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