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23/04/2013 at 11:39
...has been pushed or fallen over right in front of you, do you see if they're okay and help them up?
This morning at baby and toddler group, a little boy was knocked over right in front of me. I, of course, automatically stopped to check that he was okay and helped him up whilst his mum made her way over.
Later on in the group, I'd literally just turned around from checking on where F was and what he was up to when I heard a thud and then screams. I turned back around to see F lying on his back screaming (he'd either been pushed or fallen over). Whilst I quickly made my way across the room, trying not to step on any babies and toys, other parents, who were literally within arms reach of him, just sat and stared at him. At the time I just didn't think anything of it but since we got home it's really been bothering me. When I see someone elses child fall and hurt themselves I instinctively want to see if they're okay and I suppose I'm a little bit surprised that people were just able to stand by and watch my child, who was clearly hurt, cry his eyes out on the floor.
I can understand people being unsure about touching someone elses child but, in my eyes, this was a situation where someone could have at least helped him up whilst I was trying to get across the room.
What would you have done in this situation and am I being unreasonable for thinking that someone could have helped him? I mean honestly, a woman was sat right next to him and didn't do anything.
23/04/2013 at 11:43
I'd be upset at that too, people often help N up when he falls if I don't get there first and I do the same with other children. I do tend to have a little look round first to see if a parent is on their way though but I couldn't just ignore a screaming child right in front of me.
23/04/2013 at 12:00
I always pick them up too. It amazes me how people ignore them . Lucy (6) was running down the path at school,fell and cut her knee, I was a little way behind and a womb walked right past her while she was screaming and bleeding on the ground. That upset me as much as the fact she'd hurt herself.
23/04/2013 at 12:08
No I'd instinctively help and I'd hope someone would do the same for mine. Especially in a play group or school environment where you would see people as trust worthy parents. I'd find it far harder to ignore a crying child than to help. I could see that out of a child orientated area it could be a gray area as to wether you should help or not, but certainly not as you described!
23/04/2013 at 12:15
I used to go to baby/toddlers with my sisters kids when they were wee and if anyones kids fell in front of me, i'd always pick them up to make sure they were ok while their mum made her way over to them. I'd never dream of just standing there and stare at them when they've got hurt. I'd always appreciate someone helping out my baby if i couldn't get to them first. Like Que sera says, your in an environment where you'd think parents would have the same instinct as you.
23/04/2013 at 12:44
I would never actually comfort them but i would help then up
23/04/2013 at 12:51
basically what garfield said. id help the child up and take them over to the parent and explain what id saw. i wouldnt be cuddling etc as a child wants their parent but id console them iyswim
23/04/2013 at 13:33
I'd help the child up and if it was a friend's child would comfort them if they were ok with it. I would hope someone else would do the same, esp if my child was v distressed or injured.
23/04/2013 at 14:18
I wouldn't help a child up in the street (I could be anyone and may induce child-snatching panic) but I certainly would at a playgroup or similar environment.
23/04/2013 at 14:23
I'm glad you all feel the same as me.
Garfield and CP, I do agree with you about the cuddling thing - IMO there's a difference between cuddling someone elses child and helping them up, for example, and therefore I'd help them but not cuddle them like I would do my own, if that makes sense?
23/04/2013 at 16:18
I would totally help them up and ask them if they're okay or say "there there" whatever.
I struggle with this as a Girl Guider. There have been occasions where one of my girls has fallen or hurt herself, and i can't give her a cuddle, we're not allowed. It's not toooo bad if there is another adult in the room, but we really shouldn't do it. It was worse when i was a Rainbow leader, because you can't even tell them why you can't really comfort them. I tend to just say to the next nearest child, "oh look brenda has hurt herself, can you give her a cuddle for me while i get the first aid kit/ glass of water/ chair" My girls are quite affectionate, so they never mind cuddling each other. Makes me feel bad though. Slight aside there, sorry!
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