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09/01/2014 at 07:47
So, after a week of bad nights where O would only be asleep in his crib for 1 or 2 hours at a time and me being stressed and upset that he wasn't 'happy' because he's stopped sleeping well, I brought him into our bed the last 2 nights and he has slept like he used to, 4 hours at a time. When he woke for his feed he just made a few small noises and I had him on the breast within seconds, none of the crying we've been experiencing when he wakes in his crib.
I'm quite happy to co-sleep but think it'd be better with O in a crib attached to the bed so we have more room.. His current crib is up against the bed but taking the side off wouldn't really work due to how it's put together so I think I'll need to buy something else (which has really pleased my H!) any recommendations?
Im interested to hear any experiences/advice on this. I've also ordered a woven wrap with the intention of no longer spending the majority of my day on the sofa!
09/01/2014 at 07:58
It's the route I've ended up going down with #2 and so far with #3 but not as a conscious decision - I haven't sat there and thought 'Oh yes, I'll be an attachment parent' if you know what I mean. It's just how I want to do things and what my instincts tell me - and more importantly, what works! I would just do whatever works for you both and when it stops working, do something else.
09/01/2014 at 08:23
09/01/2014 at 08:56
Thanks both, Margot it's exactly like that :-) O is a lot calmer this morning and I can't even explain how much better I feel! AR I know what you mean!
My only concern is sorting out the bed really!
09/01/2014 at 09:04
Were like Margot, never ever in a million years did I expect I'd parent like this, thought I'd be very.. I don't know, different, and we don't follow a lot of the principles, but really believe in a baby's needs and following instinct approach, which works well for us. Anyway, I am replying because I believe the NCT hire bedside cots, though I've just seen and I'm not sure they are that cheap, I'd look into second hand with new mattress. As it happens I've never needed one as my E slept fab in her crib right next to my bed, often holding hands/ touching as it was perfect level with the bed but If I'd known how we'd end up parenting, I'd have got one straight off.
09/01/2014 at 09:33
Thanks LM :-) I'm going to see if I can do something with his full sized cot currently in the nursery!
09/01/2014 at 09:48
NCT do hire bedside cots. My pregnant friend has just hired one and she says its £100 for 6 months hire.
09/01/2014 at 09:50
We have coslept since we pretty much got home from hospital as A refused to sleep in her crib after 10pm at night and wanted constant skin to skin. We still cosleep 10 months later. A goes to bed about 7:30 into a cotbed we have taken the dropside off and clamped the combed to our bed and got the mattress to the same height using books under the legs of the cotbed. The gap is then infilled with rolled up sheets to make it completely flat. When A wakes up at 11ish for a bf i then bf her back to sleep, she still wakes normally another 2 times in the night for a quick cuddle and if you push her away to get some space she just schooches back over. Have not done the transition into her own bed or room as we are currently settling in at childminders and don't want to change too many things at once for her. A is a very independent little girl during the day and one of the happiest easy going babies I know.
09/01/2014 at 09:52
I agree with Margot. You do what works and when it stops working you try something else. I carry S in a sling a lot more because of his reflux than anything else. It's also guaranteed to get him to nap during the day which he is awful for. He sleeps well in his crib but If he wakes up during the night (thankfully rare atm) I bring him in to our bed and feed him laying down and then he sleeps and I doze. I've had a few mutterings from nct friends about him being spoiled etc but quite frankly, I am now tuning it out after I let it really get to me at first. I realised I was trying to force S to be a certain type of baby and it wasn't working. I do what works for him and now we are both much more relaxed. All my friends are feeding on schedules, sleep training for naps and doing dream feeds etc. None of that worked for us. They've all just hit 4 month growth spurts and it's all gone to sh1t anyway and they can't cope! Do what's best for you and adapt as needed, whether that's co-sleeping, feeding in slings etc. You'll be fine x
09/01/2014 at 10:00
We had a Bednest bedside crib, and co-slept for part of the night if not all for about 10 months. The beside crib was good, I liked having J close enough to cuddle whilst still having his own space (plus it meant he could be on the outside of the bed rather than in the middle of me and H.) He did outgrow it before 6 months though, despite not being a huge baby, but we will reuse for number 2, and the resale is pretty good on them, so hopefully will offset the high purchase price.
09/01/2014 at 10:09
Thank you everyone :-) xxx
09/01/2014 at 10:32
Hi BE, I have just taken delivery of a snuz pod which is a co-sleeper crib by the Little Green Shop. It's quite expensive so the hiring arrangement seems quite good! I've heard that the re-sale on snuz pods is excellent so it may well work out the same if you can make at least half your money back on selling. I paid £219 for the crib and mattress. Like a moses basket the crib can be lifted from the stand and taken elsewhere in the house.
09/01/2014 at 14:32
We started cosleeping when A would not sleep in his cot. It worked, which was great and lovely, but he still won't sleep in a cot.
We are fairly 'attachment-parent'-y, we do cosleep, still BFing at a year with no immediate plans to stop, pick up when he cries, wear him often in a sling. But like all things you have to pick and choose which bits work for you, and also for your child. A simply won't follow any of the gentle sleep advice. He won't take to a comforter (and I tried for ages) and at night isn't comforted by my presence and in fact if I try to pick him up for a cuddle he goes bananas, so we've found it's better to just let him cry (although one or both of us is there with him!). It was that or let him suckle every hour which I wasn't prepared to do.
10/01/2014 at 08:53
Thanks Sweetpea xx
Saisi that does concern me and my H isn't keen on making the co-sleeping a permanent arrangement. I've read that they grow out of it themselves but this is often around 2/3 apparently.
Thank you for all of your replies, I spent hours yesterday looking into different options. It was the first sunny, dry day for weeks so took O out in his pram and he was asleep before we left the house and slept for 3 hours in total! That's the longest he's slept for over a week (without being in bed with me). Tried the crib again last night and he eventually went to sleep with my hand on him but didn't quite make the 2 hour mark.
This morning, I've realised that his pram was really snuggly because he was in a snowsuit too and then it made me realise that we are still wrapping him up in the same sized blanket we used on day 1 which isn't long enough now to make him really cosy so I've wrapped him up in a larger one and he's been asleep for 30 mins in the crib so far so we'll see!
ETA - With the blanket thing, he hasn't been cold as I've been putting another over him and we've tried a sleeping bag but he has always liked being swaddled which I'm now thinking (hoping) might be the issue!
10/01/2014 at 17:46
BE have you looked at poddle pods? They will help keep him very cosy and snug. My 7.5 month old is still in a pod. http://www.poddlepod.com. Quite a few md'ers have them.
10/01/2014 at 17:49
BE just be careful as you can't swaddle them once they can roll. I see he's probably still too young for that but just to warn you. Also you shouldn't swaddle if cosleeping as it's not safe (not sure why but it's not recommended, think maybe they can't move to alert you if you come too close).
10/01/2014 at 17:50
Also my H is quite keen on the cosleeping (after he read Three in a Bed!) but then again he sleeps through everything and it's me waking to A's every sigh!
10/01/2014 at 19:50
TP that will be my next move I think!
Saisi we don't actually swaddle him properly, his hands are free as he likes them by his face and it's loose enough that his legs are still froggy so not sure how long we'll be able to do it? Will see how we go tonight, he's had a better day in regards to naps so hopefully he'll be more settled :-)
10/01/2014 at 20:20
I just do whatever feels natural to me as a parent but when I think about it, it's pretty much attachment parenting I guess. I do put him down in his own bed but if he won't settle or wakes up and won't go back off he comes in our bed. He sleeps SO much better with me, if it wasn't for our tiny bed I'd have him in with us all the time. I tried not to co-sleep when he was tiny as it scared me but not he's bigger I love it. My H works a few night shifts so I usually get O in with me for a cuddle
10/01/2014 at 21:17
I'm the same as HT in that F goes down in his cot but I bring him into bed with me when he wakes up crying. It lets us both get a better nights sleep and I love cuddles with my boy. I tried him in his cot pushed up against the bed with the side off but he didn't take to that. I go through phases of thinking I need to get him to stay in his own bed but then I realise I need my sleep more!
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