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28/04/2014 at 12:50
Probably a controversial one and I know why babies are meant to share a room with you etc etc but how many people actually follow the guidelines and have baby in with thm for the full 6 months?
Reading this forum made me think everyone did it now a days but the more friends/family I talk to it seems actually far less people do it than I first thought. For years babies went straight into their own bedroom without problems, how high a risk in reality is it if baby sleeps straight in the nursery from birth rather than having to shell out for a crib if the cot doesn't fit in your bedroom?
28/04/2014 at 13:13
I will, without fail, keep T in with us until 6 months. I'm sure the risk is tiny but it is there and I would never forgive myself if anything happened and I had moved him early. He does sleep well though so it's an easy decision for me, and I do understand why people struggle to decide and do move early when no one is getting any sleep. It's hard work anyway without being severely sleep deprived!
28/04/2014 at 13:25
I think it is a very controversial topic but I do think its each to their own. F is in his own room now at 18 weeks, he was in our room in his moses basket but outgrew it very quickly. The cot or travel cot just wouldnt fit in our room, so unless i slept on his flloor on a mattress every night then it was his cot in his room. He is in the next bedroom to us and we have a fab video monitor. The slightest movement or sound wakes me instantly. F sleeps a lot better in it 6.15pm-5/6am, where as he used to thrash around in his moses, waking himself up 5/6 times a night. Its not for everyone and everyone will have their opinions but it works for us :-)
28/04/2014 at 13:38
J was in with us until 2 weeks before he turned 6 months, at which point we decided he really had outgrown the bedside crib and moved him through to his nursery. He had a bit of a cold, and was bunged up, so I wasn't keen on him being alone, and H slept on his nursery floor for a few nights until he was better. Like OB I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if something had happened and I hadn't done everything I could to minimise the risk. Then he slept in his cot for some of the night, and our bed for the rest for the next few months, as he liked to feed a lot in the night, and it made everything easier.
Of my friends who had babies at the same time, one is still cosleeping exclusively, the baby doesn't have an alternative cot, but I was the latest to move my baby into the nursery otherwise - the earliest was at 3 weeks - so quite a difference.
28/04/2014 at 13:42
We had disco in with us for the full 6months I decided anything that could lower risks was worth it. Yes he selpt better once he was in his own room but that was kind of the point of keeping him with us was he didn't sleep so deeply.
also from a selfish point of view night feeds were much easier wit him in the same room.
within our nct group I was probably the last to move baby but having spoken to others in general conversation I don't think that many were aware of the 6 month guideline.
28/04/2014 at 13:53
I want to try and have baby in with us for 6 months, for the reason that OB mentioned. I don't want to take any chances or risks unless i have to.
However, I am not a mummy yet and I know that my opinion may change based on what happens once baby is here. I would hope that I can stick to the 6 months but if not then I hope I make the move for the right reasons for baby.
28/04/2014 at 13:59
Planning to do the obligatory 6 months, but will play it by ear. Hubby's shifts can see him getting up at 4am, or coming home at 2am. Not sure how that will pan out. Right now I can't imagine for one second putting her in another room, especially one that's not right next to us, but I know lots can happen/change during these months.
28/04/2014 at 14:14
O went into his own room at 5.5 months as he had outgrown his moses basket and there was no where in our bedroom to put the cot. L was in with us for about 8 months in all, mainly due to us being lazy and couldn't be bothered to sort out the nursery.
With regard to SIDS, a FB posted this yesterday, which I thought was interesting: www.adelaidenow.com.au/.../story-fni6uo1m-1226885670822
28/04/2014 at 14:19
A spent the first year in with us, then we slowly started to shift him into his own room. He has done a couple of nights by himself but mostly it's just easier if one of us sleeps with him. At the moment H is doing it, he's a heavier sleeper than me and it means he sleeps, A sleeps, and I can sleep. If I was in there then A would sleep but I'd be constantly awakening as he moves. If A was alone nobody would sleep as he would call us and cry if we didn't come.
I didn't always enjoy cosleeping but there is/was plenty that was very positive about it. I never, never worried about him during the night, if I ever woke then I only needed to open my eyes to see he was still there and breathing and then go back to sleep. Feeding during the night was easy, well until he got bigger and more demanding, but when he was smaller I barely woke to feed him and I do believe I got more sleep than mums with their babies in another room. It feels very natural to us, it's very gentle, there's not much 'sleep training' apart from when I night-weaned him and I don't have any regrets about it. Baby girl will be in with us, initially in a crib because if she will sleep in there then I'd like to try it, and then we'll see how things go. She might be a cot-refuser like A, in which case she'll probably end up in with us/me. Eventually when she's 1 and A will be 2.5 we might try them in a sibling bed for a few years if they like it, if not, we have got separate bedrooms for them.
28/04/2014 at 14:35
28/04/2014 at 14:36
28/04/2014 at 14:40
We moved O at 16 weeks. We had planned to go for 6 months but O outgrew the moses basket by 8 weeks and although the cot bed did fit in our room initially we moved at 16 weeks and the cot bed would be been a no no in our new room, do we decided it was best all round to just go for it. We had a great monitor and his room was literally just across the top of the stairs from ours.
I know it's not for everyone but it worked for us. We'll see how we go this time round..
28/04/2014 at 15:43
We moved him out at 5.5 months, he was waking us and we were waking him all the time. I had done everything to avoid and spent a fortune on Moses baskets, cribs and cots as his cot bed didnt fit in our room!
28/04/2014 at 15:47
F slept in our room until he outgrew his moses basket at just shy of 6 months. I know very few people IRL who actually follow these guidelines, in fact, I'd go as far as saying they are oblivious to them.
28/04/2014 at 16:00
My first was in with us until 3 months as I didn't fully know or understand the advice then. Second was in with us until well past 6 months as he was a rubbish sleeper, third was in with us until just after 6 months. Both the second and third have had some naps in other rooms to me due to noisy big brothers waking them but all have been fairly close with doors open as much as possible.
28/04/2014 at 17:30
We have Matilda in our room in her cot bed. We have plenty of room for it. And until she starts waking less frequently she will stay with us. At least 6m if not longer. I quite like the 2 steps to her cot rather than a different room!
28/04/2014 at 18:41
O is 20 weeks and will be in with us until 6 months at least. He still seems small to be sleeping all alone and I certainly couldn't have put him in a room on his own from birth. I'm with OB that if there is evidence there is a greater associated risk of them sleeping alone then I'm not going to take it and If anything did happen I would blame myself and how do you get over that. It's just not worth the risk to me. I know it means buying a crib but O has slept in it every night (and day sometimes) since he was born so 6months of use is good value. Your likely to buy a load of other things that you'll get less use from!
28/04/2014 at 19:19
Thinking about it, Harry was in with me for only 6 weeks. My bedroom was tiny, with a person-width 'corridor' all around the bed. We squeezed a crib in but he was too big for it within 6 weeks and we couldn't fit anything else in. We used a monitor and the walls between his room and ours were paper-thin. When he was ill (baby asthma & croup) one of us slept in there alongside the cot.
28/04/2014 at 20:21
A was in with us for 8 months, he was an awful sleeper so I coslept and couldn't imagine being up and down all night! He seemed teeny tiny at 8m and I wasn't ready to put him in a room on his own and felt so guilty when I did. I think it's hard to decide what you will do until baby is here, you don't know how you will feel.
28/04/2014 at 20:25
Really interested in this thread. I intend to have baby in with us for first 6 months but I appreciate how you intend to do things with a baby, is not always how it turns out.
I found some of the content on the previous "what do you do that's against guidelines thread" a real eye opener, as there were lots on there that I hadn't realise people felt were against guidelines etc, eg leaving baby sleeping for 5 minutes whilst you had a shower etc. I assumed that all did that!
Like I said, we intend to have baby in with us for 6 months but I have two general ponderings from the reading of guidelines and research I have done, the first is (1) humans need deep sleep. it's good for us. I can't help but think babies need that too, but it seems the aim of the game is to prevent baby falling into a deep sleep and (2) if everyone followed the guidelines to the letter, they'd be no market for baby monitors, but everyone seems to have a baby monitor
I too have noticed that people IRL don't seem to be aware of the guidelines or don't adhere to them, but I wonder if the ones who are on a baby forum are more likely to have come across them etc
Those are just my ponderings on this very interesting subject.
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