Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
09/08/2014 at 06:14
...consider trying for another baby when little one is 7 or 8 months old? I'm under time constraints (in my opinion) due to my age, there are other factors which means a small-ish gap would suit us best. But would it be too soon? Physically? Emotionally?
09/08/2014 at 06:27
09/08/2014 at 06:42
09/08/2014 at 07:16
Personally no, I never felt the urge to try for another until mine were at least 18 months which for me tied in with when they felt less like a baby and more like a little person who was more independent. The thought of having two babies close in age wasn't for me. Also physically, whilst I had recovered from my sections by that age I was just starting to get my body back in terms of weight loss and fitness so wouldn't have wanted to get in the way of that. I can see the advantages in terms of time out of a career though and if age is a factor then that would override a lot of the other reasons.
09/08/2014 at 07:17
My friend and my sil have babies with gaps of 14 month in between. They thought it would be a good idea to "get it out the way". Frequently they remind me never to do it because of how difficult it is. Childcare costs are crippling. It just feels like something I wouldn't necessarily do because like the other have said, being able to enjoy each bubs individually.
09/08/2014 at 08:47
if it's a case of now or never then go for it. If you think if you waited then it would be too late and you wouldn't have one then go for it. But if you could wait a little but longer then I would.
I have a 22 month gap between mine. It's very tiring. #2 was very demanding and unsettled. The first six months are a blur. I feel sad that I haven't been able to enjoy her and spend as much time with her as #1. But it was important to me to have a close age gap for their sake. I'm one of 4 and we are all massively spread out in age because my mum said she wanted to enjoy each of us separately, but my experience is that that has been at the detriment of her children having a close relationship. We were at different age ranges growing up so couldn't play with the same toys, didn't want to play with each other, when one was old enough to enjoy playgrounds the other was too old to be interested etc.
That's just my experience, I know of plenty of people with big gaps and good relationships, I'm not saying any of that to criticise people who have bigger gaps honestly, but it has had a big affect on me and made me want to have a close age gap even though I knew it would be hard. They are currently nearly 10 months and 2yrs 8months and are best friends. They play together all the time and laugh at each other, and B has learnt so much watching her big sister.
So anyway, I'm basically just telling you the pros of having them sooner. There's never a perfect age. If you can afford child care for both, and from what I know of you you seem to have a very supportive H and your son would help, as having extra pairs of hands makes a huge difference. It will be incredibly hard, but if you think it wouldn't be practical for you to wait longer then go for it. Just be prepared for the first 6 months at least to be incredibly hard
09/08/2014 at 09:03
Sorry to be rude but how old are you? I was panicked at trying for a baby after 35 as for some reason we're programmed that after then your fertility takes a nose dive which isn't true. I personally wouldn't try so soon as a close age when they're tiny can be hard but as they get older the can end up being very close.
Also remember it might take some time to get pregnant. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x
09/08/2014 at 09:11
No. I'm already wishing I wasn't going to have a 20 month gap for a whole load of reasons but only you can decide. Being pregnant with one to look already is exhausting.
09/08/2014 at 09:26
No never. I just don't do small age gaps lol. We have 3 yrs then 4 yrs then this will be 3 years again. I like to enjoy each one being a baby -I love the newborn stage so don't want to get it out the way too quickly. I only wanted one in nappies and no double pushchair too and the older ones in preschool/school for a few hours a week helps too! I can understand it might be more tricky if you're worried about your age though x
09/08/2014 at 09:48
Personally yes because the age would be 15 months approx at the smallest and that means the oldest is starting to comprehend things etc possibly walking. There is no gurantee you would get pregnant straight away as well. I know I am going against the grain but knowing my baby and how I felt about things would have been the most important factor for me. I did get pregnant when B was 8 months old, although it didn't last. It was unplanned and I immediately panicked. Woke up the next morning and the joy that hit was huge. My first thought was 'I'm pregnant' and a big grin spread across my face. I played it out across hitched at the time. Very shocked then very pleased then very disappointed. Anyway for me age would be a factor at the moment and I even had HG and hypermobility problems!
09/08/2014 at 09:49
I wouldn't not because of looking after two babies but looking after a baby and dealing with pregnancy! I think if they are at least a few years old you can lay on the sofa for a few minutes.
09/08/2014 at 09:53
Smaller children also have naps so you can nap at the same time as them.
09/08/2014 at 09:56
I'm busy at mo, but wanted to say Thanks! Am so glad I asked. Loads of food for thought x
09/08/2014 at 10:03
Unfortunately my morning sickness doesn't really have a schedule! I can't face the thought of another baby until this one can entertain itself and I'm only 13 + 5
09/08/2014 at 10:15
Personally I would ideally want a 2 and a half to 3 year age gap between our children as I think it would be too much hard work! However h only has 14 months between him and his brother and thinks we should have a small age gap as they could play together when younger. His mum thinks that it was good as she got all the nappies out the way at the same time. I have to add that his brother was 10 weeks early almost 30 years ago and it was touch and go if he would make it so with that added stress she still would.
I have got pregnant 6 months after giving birth and I have say that this pregnancy is pretty similar to the last. Hips are a bit more achy at night but that's because my bump is bigger and I've already put on more weight than last time. I've also had a bit more heartburn but nothing that would stop me looking after a baby as well, although I know every pregnancy is different. So what I'm trying to say is its not affected my body negatively at the mo getting pregnant quickly.
09/08/2014 at 10:18
I think in your situation I would. I was going to have an 18m.age gap (mc) and instead had 2yrs but i think.any would of been fine. You deal with what you are given really.
09/08/2014 at 10:46
Whilst no 1 isn't here yet, it took us 2years to conceive so I won't be going back on any contraception, Will prob use condoms for 6 months then back to basics. A 2 year age gap for us would be ideal but TTC doesn't work like that so whenever / if we fall pregnant again, verb by some miracle straight away, we will just be thrilled & deal with it.
Whilst I've found pregnancy pretty horrendous & emotional for many reasons, I would love 2 children & I plan on going back part time after this maternity leave so I imagine that would make things easier if I am so sick again. OH works 3 day shifts every wk (same days) which is fab as were hoping no Childcare costs.
Also my parents are close by & are amazing help - my dad retires in a couple of months (totally nudged by this first grandchild but he is too stubborn to say it lol) so I want to have our family while they are able to enjoy our children & help. I havnt made a dinner in 11months! Was unwell & recovering from op, then fell pregnant same month & raw meat has turned me since - which I hope disappears when baby arrives as I love cooking!
Only you can make the decision, I'm not sure of your TTC journey but that's obviously going to impact & because that's so personal it would be very difficult for anyone to guide you on that if that makes sense? Ie if anyone told me I was mad for technically trying again 6months after our first, I'd tell them to F off because they don't know our background. Hope that makes sense?!
09/08/2014 at 10:49
Isla is difficult... I couldn't imagine having a toddler to deal with as well as Isla. I'm already at breaking point with her and if no. 2 is difficult as well I think I would actually have a break down. From all I've heard of Agnes she's an easy baby and sleeps through, but the next might not be as easy. I know my next might be really easy, but the thought of two high maintenance babies at once scares the *** out of me!
09/08/2014 at 10:59
Personally, there's no way I'd have been emotionally or even physically ready for TTC when F was 6/7/8 months old. Whilst I had recovered from the birth by that point, I was focused on losing weight and enjoying being slimmer, which might sound a bit selfish! It never even crossed my mind to try for another until F was at least a couple of years old. As it turned out, we started TTC a few months before he was 2 and I got my BFP on his 2nd birthday. It's hopefully going to work in well as F already does 2 days a week at nursery and we're looking to 'up' this to 3 days next year. It's important for me to be able to spend the time with the new baby doing all the things I did with F. At the same time, he'll benefit a lot more by being at nursery than he will being at home with me and baby and tagging along to baby groups!
I do sometimes think a bigger age gap is better but we liked the idea of an almost 3 year gap so that we can then enjoy them growing up and moving on to the next stage as well as getting a bit of a life back for ourselves.
09/08/2014 at 11:05
Must be something in the name wispa........ Luckily number two is much easier going than Isla was xx
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