Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
21/09/2014 at 10:17
I've just entered 3rd tri and so am starting to think about things a bit more seriously. Do I just sit down with H at some point and write this together, or do I wait for my midwife to prompt it. Is it something that I am supposed to write with her? I am absolutely clueless.
21/09/2014 at 10:50
Not from Glasgow but I didn't write a birth plan. I had a chat with my H and mum (mum birth partner also) about things I felt strongly about (mainly that if baby needed to be rushed away then H to go with him at all times and my mum would stay with me) and my rough idea about pain relief etc. My mum asked a few questions about what I wanted her to do. I never discussed anything with my community midwife, when I got to hospital the midwife in delivery had a chat with me about ideal situations and how I felt about epidurals etc
21/09/2014 at 11:19
I an from Glasgow but don't live there so probably no use
Iv never had one, no ones ever asked to see one either. A friend had a lovely laminated one that never made it out the bag but other than her I don't know anyone irl that had one.
I had/have requests, so immediate skin to skin and h was to give it if I couldn't, due to Ls horrific birth ( inadequate/unsafe care which resulted in a 14 month complaint) I discussed with the consultant and mw that if things were similar I'd be self discharging and it was written in my notes that if I expressed wishes to discharge then the staff had to call the consultant and he would come and discuss things and we'd make a decision together to try to see whether I could go home. he said that way he'd have been kept informed etc and I'd have felt reassured that he'd checked Isaac over iyswim. Also with Isaac I wanted photos quite quickly as we don't have a photo of L till he's 5 hours old. Staff said that was fine but as it happens he was another emergency so I think Isaac was 40 mins old which I was fine with and tbh never gave it a thought
Iv 2 requests this time, section not to be booked for Williams birthday week, they have said from 7 weeks this is absolutely fine, so long as not before 37 weeks they are happy to go for whenever. And immediate skin to skin (again h to do it if I can't) o and h to go with baby if she needs anything but Tbf when Isaac was having oxygen they told h to come straight over. Iv asked for quick discharge (I almost skipped out if hospital with Isaac at 36 hrs post birth and honestly could have gone earlier as felt well so hoping the same this time (might be pushing my luck for earlier ),
With both boys, they just asked 'breast or bottle' pre delivery and with Isaac the mw said she would give me baby as soon as she was able which she did. I think il probably just wing it this time considering Iv not even packed a bag or anything yet :-/
21/09/2014 at 11:30
I had quite a long birth plan last time & even longer this time. For me it's more about writing down my preferences so I don't need to talk to anyone about it once labour happens. I showed my 1st 1 to my midwife but as this time I'm hoping for a home birth with as little intervention as possible I really want my mw to read it when she visits on Wed. It's more about the choices you wish to make that you're not really told about. What medication do you think you might want? Or definitely don't want? Do you want them to regularly offer different meds? (This time I'm hoping to go into my own bubble & don't wish to be disturbed by anyone & will ask for something if I feel I need it), do you want a managed third stage? (ie do you want to deliver the placenta naturally or have an injection to speed up the process), do you want to have your baby's cord cut immediately or have delayed cord clamping? Do you consent to your baby being given vitamin K injection? do you want them to cut the cord or your partner? Do you want to find out the sex of the baby yourself or want the dr/mw to tell you? Do you want immediate skin to skin or do you want your baby to be cleaned up before they're given to you? Do you want to feel your baby's head as it's crowning (wish I'd done this with my 1st).
I am a bit of a control freak so a birth plan has given me the chance to research these things in advance & write down preferences rather than be asked as it's happening or regret things after, but you might be happy to go with their suggestions or usual protocols. Just remember it's your birth & you do have choices, although with some things there may have to be flexibility.
There are lots of birth plans on online that you can use & change to suit your wishes or you may just want to note down a few points (mine is 2 sides of A4!!).
Hope you're doing ok x
I downloaded a template from nhs website. Spoke to my mw about a few things/technical terms I was unsure of and then wrote it with H. Most of mine was very open as I didn't know what to expect or what I'd want really as it was my first. The only thing I was sure about was a water birth. As it happens no one even looked at my birth plan, it just stayed in my bag. But it was still useful to discuss things with H.
21/09/2014 at 11:32
Oh and we put that we wanted vit K, useful for us to discuss and also wanting us both to have skin to skin.
21/09/2014 at 11:36
Ok, so clearly I'm 1 of the few whose written a very detailed plan!!! I wrote it then shared it with my H (been reading a lot of home birth stories recently so know more about the technical terms then he does) then we went through it together.
21/09/2014 at 13:09
My birth plan both times has literally consisted of following.
Only G&A unless intervention is needed
Vit K for baby
Allowing the cord to stop pulsating before it is cut.
I didn't want it too detailed as I didn't want to be disappointed etc if anything was done differently. As if as I had 2 babies who weren't keen on giving the mws a chance to even look at my plan so I didn't need it anyway x
21/09/2014 at 13:49
I had a template in the back of my notes which covered pain relief, cord cutting, third stage etc. I waited for the midwife to mention filling it in during one of my appointments but I tended to be in and out in 5 mins so it never came up! I had some ideas in my head and had mentioned them to H but didn't write anything down until my contractions started!
The midwives did actually read it but asked me all the questions again anyway. I think it was most important to me that H knew what I wanted and could help answer the questions if I couldn't for any reason
21/09/2014 at 15:32
With R & O it was never really discussed at any of my MW appointments so I don't think it's something that they'll
Go through with you unless you specifically ask them to
With both of them, I followed the template in my notes (pages 32-33, although I'm sure you already know that!) and put down anything that I had any strong preferences for, eg skin to skin straight away, vitamin K injection, wanting H to tell me the sex etc.
21/09/2014 at 17:19
I wrote mine, but it went out the window when I went overdue and had to be induced. I didn't want an epidural, but I started involuntary pushing during contractions that I had one to stop me. Granted it failed not long after and I then wound up with a section
You should definitely write a plan, even if it's just so you have an idea of what you want.
21/09/2014 at 18:03
My mw or consultant never mentioned one but I always knew I didn't have a plan. I'm glad about that as everything I'd have wanted wasn't possible. I won't be doing one this time either although in my own head I know what I do and don't want (ie I prefer gas and air over diamorp) and my husband will know as well but they are as and when things instead of needing written down. For me a birth plan would have meant I didn't have such an open mind.
22/09/2014 at 13:48
My birthing plan consisted of:
Husband to cut cord.
I'm sure there were another few points but I spoke to MW about them and wrote them at the back of my notes.
However, my plan went completely out the window when I was rushed into theatre for a C-section. I got everything the opposite of my plan but I really didn't care by that point. Just don't be too set on it or you'll be disappointed if it doesn't go to plan x
22/09/2014 at 18:33
Hi saffy, I did write it and discussed it with my H but I can't think that anyone looked at it or asked me anything about it during birth. I'd place greater emphasis on your H knowing what you want/don't want in order to advocate for you on the day rather than rely on the MWs reading it.
22/09/2014 at 21:14
Thanks everyone. I suppose what I was really asking was am I 'allowed' to fill it out in my book, as I was unsure as to whether I was supposed to fill it out with my midwife. H knows what I want but I'll get it down on paper anyway.
22/09/2014 at 21:23
We're in Fife, so probably same system.
Me and my H went through the questions in the book and filled it out. Based on that we wrote (and laminated!) a birth plan. WE went through it with the midwife at our 28 week appointment.
The midwife in the delivery suite did read it when I was in labour. I found it quite helpful to do as it helped us identify what we did and didn't want, and made sure that my H was aware of everything.
23/09/2014 at 10:04
My MW never mentioned the pages at the back of the book so I just filled in a couple of bits myself. Didn't bother with things like what position I wanted to be in as I had no idea. With my first baby I just put things like I was open to any pain relief, H would cut the cord, I wanted baby delivered onto me and that baby wasn't to be given formula. 2nd time round I put that I would be wanting an epidural and that I wanted help with bfing if required as it didn't go well in the early days 1st time. 3rd time I never filled anything in as I found it wasn't looked at anyway. I just told them (very very quick delivery, in the room for a very short time before S was born and I still had time to shout between contractions that he was to be delivered straight onto me and he was to get Vitamin K)
23/09/2014 at 10:47
I started filling the bit in my notes out in pencil in case I got told off . In the end, I just asked a few questions at random appointments and my thoughts just kind of evolved over the weeks as I filled it in. MW just kind of let me get on with it but when H came to an appointment, can't remember which one, she surprised him by asking if he was ok with all the things I was asking him to do! It was cutting the cord and announcing the sex, he was quite taken back that he was allowed to express an opinion!
The mws at the hospital read my notes really thoroughly and encouraged me to stick to it as much as poss (yoga breathing, g+a only if poss) and were very supportive even though I was being induced which obviously wasn't part of the plan.
23/09/2014 at 11:26
I wrote a very detailed plan for my home birth, and had an extra sheet for "in case of transfer to hospital". The main things on my home birth plan were:
No examination or intervention without discussing with me first
Baby to be born underwater unless medically unsafe
Husband and I to find out gender together
Immediate skin to skin and breastfeeding in the pool
Delayed cord clamping
Husband to cut cord
No to vitamin K jab (I gave it to baby orally instead)
Natural 3rd stage
Only consent to transfer in case of an immediate risk to life, not just in case and not because protocols may dictate it.
I'm glad I did all this, since the mws were fantastic and followed it to the letter. My community midwife had gone through it with me at 37 weeks and said it would be pinned next to my name on the home birth board in the MLU so all the community team could have a read. Since I collapsed and passed out twice after the birth, had I not expressly refused hospital in advance they would have called an ambulance to transfer me as a precaution. As it was, they stayed with me for ages and managed it all at home.
A good friend of mine narrowly escaped a c section thanks to writing a plan. Twin 2 was taking ages to deliver, friend was out of it and didn't think to question the consultant, but mw saw her plan and told her "no, this isn't what you want, try for another 2 contractions first" and consultant agreed to try ventouse first, which worked.
Of course births don't always go to plan, but I'd say it's definitely worth making a list of preferences.
23/09/2014 at 11:56
My MW gave me a template at around my booking appointment, and told me to have a think about things over the course of the pregnancy and we'd fill it in at my 36 week appointment. I discussed it with H before that appointment and went through it with the MW (things like who I wanted in the room, bottle or breast, pain relief etc). I don't think any of the ward MWs actually looked at it when I was giving birth, as they asked me before they did each thing. I was very loose in my "plan" anyway as I know too many people who had the most wonderful plans and they ended up being induced/having EMCS. I'd said I'd be happy to have the injection for the placenta, but the MW on the day suggested I just wait and see how long it took so I did. They discussed pain relief on the day. H had said he didn't want to cut the cord, but they asked him on the day.
I would try and be as relaxed as possible and not have too many expectations as you could end up disappointed. AS someone else said, I'd say it's more important for your H to know your feelings so that he can communicate them to the staff on the day.
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