Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
06/01/2014 at 11:00
So, O is 7 weeks now and I'm really feeling down. The first 2 weeks he fed every 4 hours like clockwork. At 3 weeks the cluster feeding started but he still went for 4 hours at night. He doesn't really cluster feed as such now but he does feed very frequently during the day, every 90mins some days. He tends to have a 40 min nap mid morning and an hour mid afternoon (sometimes this can be 3 hours!) then bed at 7, waking around 11,3 and up at 7. This was fine but the last 4 nights he's only sleeping for 2 hours max before wanting to feed. I'm telling myself it's a growth spurt but I'm worried that the 4 hours won't return.
He's quite a calm baby and doesn't cry a lot which I'm grateful for and I know that I probably don't have it that bad but I keep doubting myself and today I'm really teary and low.
I feel really selfish for moaning, not even sure whether to post this, I love him so much but I just keep feeling like I'm not doing good enough. I keep reading up on breastfeeding which temporarily reassures me but I'm just feeling very alone with it. H is great but obviously he has to work. Mum supportive but things were different for her, you started weaning at 12 weeks then! People keep making jokey comments about O being 'greedy', 'surely not hungry again', 'he's just comforting', 'you'll spoil him', 'not getting enough'.
Sorry for long 'woe is me' post xx
06/01/2014 at 11:08
Of course you love him, and you're doing enough for him. It does sound like a growth spurt, and he's upping your supply to fit his needs. Ignore all the comments, although I know that might be difficult.
You're doing brilliantly, and this will pass - just try and get as much sleep whenever he naps if you can. Sleep deprivation is bloody awful, and probably what's causing the doubts and teariness.
06/01/2014 at 11:25
A was like this, feeding at least every 2 hours for a good few months amd would spend at least 45 mins on the boob until around 4 months. I would get loads of comments about her just comforting or not really hungry. It was really hard and I don't really know what yo advise you, other than it does sound normal and it will pass.
And also, 3am on the third feed of the night is not the time to start assessing how well things are going or how good a mother you think you are. Leave it until the morning!
06/01/2014 at 11:26
Exactly what Deedee said, you're doing a great job. Hang on in there, this too shall pass x
06/01/2014 at 12:29
Thanks ladies, I know you're right! I just hate how people think it's not normal for him to be like this. Nenas, thank you, I find it reassuring that you had the same with A.
There's a breastfeeding support group at my local childrens centre on a Thursday so I should pop along really x
06/01/2014 at 12:37
Definitely ignore people, I had this too from some - I was overfeeding him, when was I meant to get a break? He wouldn't be like this on the bottle, blah, blah, blah and it's a load of rubbish. It can get you down though. Sam both cluster fed in the evening and every 2 hours in the day, but quiet often more, like O - sometimes I felt I barely got half an hour of putting my boob away! It was tiring, but I remember it improving after about 8/9 weeks and all of a sudden bf was so easy, and I realised much less faff than making bottles would be. Also, because he fed so much in the day, at 8 weeks he started sleeping 6+ hours at night, it quickly grew to 8, then 10, so it made the cluster feeding very worthwhile!
Hang in there - if you want to of course, and ignore people who are maybe trying to help, but are irritating and ill informed!
06/01/2014 at 12:52
B is a very regular feeder. She's 12 weeks now and getting better at night (often going from 12.30-8), although still has bad nights - didn't settle until 4am last night.
Day times are really really tough though. She rarely goes 90mins between feeds and won't settle asleep unless she's being held.
I find that the people that make the comments are ones who didn't breast feed. All my Hs family always make snide comments especially his dad.
My mum means well and is happy I'm bfing but always asks "is she due a feed ", but she has absolutely no routine or feeding pattern so my answer is "she's always due a feed!".
In regards to the comments you get , I totally feel your frustration, it's so hard to bite your tongue, but tell yourself this
1. O being 'greedy' - it's just milk, it's not like he's asking for chocolates!
2. 'surely not hungry again' - his stomach is tiny so he probably is. Or maybe he just wants a snack. How often do people eat their tea a 6pm and by 8.30pm are looking in the fridge for something to snack on.
3.'he's just comforting', so what. You're his mum, it's nice if he sees you as comforting. That's part of your job
4. 'you'll spoil him', giving him milk is not spoiling him! (See answer 1). '
5. not getting enough'. Is he gaining weight at a steady level, has the health visitor raised concerns? Then no actually he is getting enough,
You've done superbly to get this far. Just look at how much he's grown since you first met him and feel immensely proud that that's all thanks to your boobs!! Do try to sleep when he does, or at least put your feet up with a cup of tea and biscuits in front of the tv. I know it's really really emotionally draining but what you are doing is giving him a fantastic start to life. Going along to a bf support group will hopefully help if you can. Chat to other bf mums, and keep posting on here whenever you're feeling low. There's plenty of us that are feeling exactly the same xxxxx
06/01/2014 at 12:56
Thanks Lamby :-) I definitely want to keep feeding, I've actually found it easy in as much as it hasn't been uncomfortable or anything.
Can't blame people for thinking he's not 'getting enough' as that's probably what I would have said a few months ago! They only mean well but I have to really restrain myself from getting too defensive!
06/01/2014 at 13:04
JT thank you :-) forgot about the 'is he due a feed?' one! And yes, the only people I know IRL all formula feed and their experiences are completely different. I think I feel bad 'moaning' cos I'm waiting for someone to turn around and say 'well what did you expect?!' Or 'you're doing it wrong'.
Feeling a lot better from your replies and glad I posted on here, thank you lovelies :-) xxxx
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