sorry to bring a depressing post here this morning...

Im going out of my mind and so petrified of giving birth now... Ive got only 10 days until due date.. and have been watching a few birthing programmes on sky...
Im so scared and dont want to go through it... (this is my first)...

All this time ive been wanting it to go quick and now im just freaking out..

Anyone else feeling the same?

:cry:

Hey pregnant lady,

I've got 11 weeks to go and i'm scared too. We just have to hope that it's over quickly, have the drugs that we need. One thing that makes me feel a bit better is that loads of women go through it every day and they still have other babies!

I know it's not a lot, but i'm clinging on to it. I felt exactly like you yesterday and it's horrible. Try not to cry because it will upset your lettle one. I feel as thou that all i've done throughout the pregnancy, but we can't help it! xx

Hi Pregnant lady,

I'm only 18 weeks with my first, but I worry about the birth as well. But whats keeps me going is that I know no matter how long the labour takes, I will have a lovely baby at the end of it.

Imagine holding your little one and seeing its innocent face. It will make it all seem worthwhile.

Like Hippy_Noo says, women are doing it every day for their second or more child, and not put off.

Cheer up...

Hi there

I know it's all big and scary ahead of you, but please do as much as you can to relax and get as much rest as you can.

My baby is now four months old and is the most beautiful person in the world and I can't imagine ever having been without her.

PLEASE PLEASE spend this time treating yourself, doing as much relaxing and resting that you can - treat yourself to a massage if you can and do as much as you can to prepare yourself for what is a life-changing experience.

Women do go through childbirth every day (and each one has a different story to tell) but please try and think of it as a several hours hard work resulting in the best prize ever. So many people told me horror stories beforehand when I was getting just as nervous and upset as you, but the best advice was just to keep yourself positive. Each push is one step closer to having your baby in your arms.

It WILL hurt, but just as you think you can't cope anymore, you will get your baby - honest!

I had my daughter quite quickly with a TENS machine and gas and air (but on the way to the hospital I would've taken any drugs they could have offered!) and found that after several weeks of hanging round the house getting nervous, when my waters actually did break, I became very calm and focussed. I had my husband there to hold my hand (I didn't want him to do any of the massaging I thought I would like beforehand), and my midwife to help me through. My birthplan went out the window as I did what felt natural with the help of my midwife and didn't even open my hospital bag except to get my nightie out.

But it is really tiring, physically and emotionally (and why do births always mean you start by losing a night's sleep?) so you need to have as much energy stored as you possibly can.

GOOD LUCK and please, please try to think ahead of the labour to your beautiful child in your arms.

:\):\):\)

Ems,

What you're feeling is completely normal hun. I've got 13 days to go and this is my second but I've started to feel anxious and nervous about the birth as well as excited and wanting him here soon!

Nothing anyone can say will exactly prepare you for birth but just remember, women have been doing this for millions and billions of years (and without the medical interventions & drugs we have now), our bodies are completely designed to withstand labour and birth so try not to worry to much.

Everyones labour is different as well as each individuals pain threshold. Based on my first, all I can say to you is it wasnt half as bad as I expected, personally for me, it felt like how you feel when you're constipated and trying to push out a big shit (sorry about the comparison! lol) but thats how it felt for me. You know when you've been constipated and you're trying to push this hard crap out and it just won't come, as it starts getting to the anal area and the hole it stings a bit because of the size and hardness of it and you push, it comes out a bit more but when you stop pushing it slides back in slightly and then you push and so on like this for a while and you still have that sting but then it comes flying out and you grit your teeth (sometimes bleed from the hardness of the constipated shit) as it shots out and suddenly, you have this whole sensation of relief that its out and no more pain as such....

Well thats exactly how child birth felt for me when I had my daughter. And hun, don't be afraid to ask for an epidural or other drugs if you do find you're in pain - you don't have to be a martyr and cope with pain if you find it becomes to much, thats what drugs are for! Again, personally I'd like to try and see how far I could cope naturally but fcuk that, if I get any point were I feel I can't cope or its starting to become unbearable, those MW's will have to give me every drug going. I don't care how or what I have to ask for (if I need it) for my baby to be born with the minimal amount of pain for me I'll do it.

So try not to focus to much on the negative part of giving birth em or it will hurt more only coz your adrenaline will kick in, just think of taking it step by step and at any point, if you need help coping with the discomfort or pain dont be afraid to ask for it.

You'll be fine hun!!! I promise!

Eva xx

[Modified by: Eva247 on June 20, 2007 12:11 PM]

thanks you all but im still so screwed in the head about it right now.. im so petrified and have got myself in such a state....

I tried to call the hospital for help but they're not interested.... I want to ask for a C section?... is this possible so late in the day?.....

im 38+4 today...

I dont want to go through with it.. i cant deal with it...
wish i hadnt have watched the programmes... .. im making myself ill...

Oh Ems,

I really feel for you, you do sound so petrified mate. I can't be absolutely sure, but I think you can still request a c section, if you feel that terrified and really feel so low at the thought of going through labour, get in to see your MW immediately and demand a c section. Dont ask them for it, demand it, I have heard loads of times that they do allow elective caesareans if the mum to be has an absolute fear of going through labour and you do sound so scared by it.

Regardless of the programs or not, the fact is if that is how you feel, you shouldnt have to go through labour and birth. I'm sure if you do speak to the MW or get down to the hospital and explain your fears and feelings then they'll either try and make you feel better by illeviating your fears about giving birth and if they can't, they should book you in for a caesarean (but of course I cant say that for certain).

Let me know how you get on.

Eva xx

Hi Pregnant Lady

I was petrified too with my first. I was stuck in hospital for over 5 weeks with pre eclampsia and then one day the consultants said 'right you are having your baby tomorrow...' and I panicked like hell...I was so scared of being induced, I knew it would be more painful and I just lost it completely...and worst of all I was in hospital with no partner, my parents were 150 miles away and I was so alone.
I didn't really have any choice, so they started me at 8am the next morning with the pessaries, didn't work...then I had a drip and decided to dance up and down the corridor with my drip listening to The Jam...still nothing...then they broke my waters...not painful but I took too much gas and air and everything went black and I disappeared up my own bum for a few seconds! Then they couldn't keep a good trace with the tummy monitor so they then put a clip on babys head, which was then strapped to another machine. Luckily my mum had arrived and she begged me to have an epidural (as I was basically confined to the bed) which was to me was the most clever beautiful drug in the world! So I had this topped up maybe once...they told me to have a sleep which I did, then at 11.50 I was given 10 mins to push baby out otherwise they would have to intervene...I had students and everyone in the room and even though I couldn't feel I damn well pushed for england. I pushed so hard I went to throw up and my diaphragm actually pushed down so hard it made my little girls head come out too quickly! So then one more push and baby out...from that moment onwards I have no recollection of the labour pain wise, only my beautiful daughter to look at and breastfeed...the most annoying this was that I was the ill one and kept on an observation ward and woken every 15 mins to make sure i wasn't going to have an eclamptic fit.

Had 2nd baby 4 yrs later, much the same pattern. And now at 40 am due in December with baby 3 and am wondering whether I could get pregnant quickly again after to complete family with no 4.

It is hard work, no doubting that and yes there is pain - both of mine came out face upwards so have a horrible back to back labour...and yes it is like having the biggest pooh in the world!

After I had my son I had my belly button pierced...they didn't numb it and it f'ing killed me...I also passed out...so would definitely rather give birth again and again...

At the end of the day there is no other physically hard job you can do that will reward you with a baby, a baby that YOU have loved and nurtured for 40 weeks...how clever are us girls hey...

Your birth partner is really important too...having my mum at my first was the best thing ever, she was amazing and so very relaxed about it...which I am sure helped me no end.

Big hug to you.

C.x

thanks you all but im still so screwed in the head about it right now.. im so petrified and have got myself in such a state....

I tried to call the hospital for help but they're not interested.... I want to ask for a C section?... is this possible so late in the day?.....

im 38+4 today...

I dont want to go through with it.. i cant deal with it...
wish i hadnt have watched the programmes... .. im making myself ill...



totally understand how you feel, can you speak to your Dr, perhaps they can give you something to help calm you?
You will be ok, you can do it (even though you don't think so now). If 14 year old girls can do it, you definately can. If it hurts ask for pain relief, they will give it no problem. It'll be over in a flash. You will instantly forget it (we are built that way). You'll be wanting another baby within a few weeks. Those programmes should be banned, they do nothing but scare monger vulnerable women. they sensationalise & dramatise birth. Its not like that the majority of women. Its a bit like ER, normal A&E is nothing like that at all. Be strong, be calm, look beyond the "birth" to the adventure to come. Have a brandy or 2 hehehe - try to relax. you will be fine. X

thank you all so much... I wish i were as brave as you all.. I seriously want a C section...

I tell you what it is with me... its the exposure more than anything.. Ive got a real problem with exposure.. rather than the pain.... I dont want my husband to see me in such a way either.. but feel awful if i dont let him come to the birth...

At least if i have a C section... he will be in the same boat as me.. with nothing to see until baby gets here...

I also cant handle the though of giving birth to the placenter!... I really dont think i can deal with it...
thanks for being so understanding everyone...

starting to calm down a bit now.. ... even been screaming at myself today.. I really dont know whats got into me... real anxiety attack..

I wish i hadnt watched those scenes of labour... screaming women with blood all over the place...
i just cant deal with it.

Ive tried to call the hospital again to see a consultant but they wont even book me in for an appointment as it needs to come from the MW...

Ive booked to see the MW tomorrow so will let you all know how it goes...

I really do appreciate your support and dont know what id do without you ladies sometimes...
feel so emotional..

thanks again

you won't be overly exposed. wear a bit oversized T shirt (more like a dress). they only examine you at intervals, the rest of the time, you are sitting down or standing or lying ina bed with sheets over you. There won't be much blood (that you'll see). the placenta just follows out after the baby, you'll be holding the baby by then so won't even notice at all. Hubby doesn't need to look at anthing, he will hold your hand & change the CD & give you drinks etc you'll be too concentrated on the baby to notice anything else. I personally think the C section would be more traumatic, with surgeons & masks & scrubs (even hubby has to wear these). you won't get much blood on you, just the tiny bits that will be on the baby. You get to shower afterwards (of a bed bath if you've had an epidural). Someone will look at your stitches if you've had any & thats it. as i said before, those programmes should be banned! xx

Im inclined to agree with you about the birthing scenes... they are horrific...

I think im just going to have to make sure hubby isnt in with me... Id rather go it alone.... I think thats what im going to have to decide on.... or the C section.. Im just not comfortable with him being there.
i think its bothering me that hubby will see me with legs wide open and in such a way...
may sound silly to some but im very private with regards to my genitals ....

im seriously feeling better and calmer so thanks to you all...
i really dont know whats happened with me today.. I think ive known for a long time i dont want hubby at the birth.. but ive been feelng pressured.... by everyone else too.... and him of course...

surely it wont hurt him to wait outside until its all over with?.. including placenter?
whats everyones feelings on this?

hi pregnant lady

i totally understand how you feel. i am only 20+6 weeks but even before i was pregnant i was terrified of giving birth and all i ever wanted was a c section. i would advise going to see your gp or mw asap. tell them how scared you are as im not being funny no matter how many people tell you it will be fine etc... it will never make u feel any better as this is a very personally thing. have the mw's spoke to you about the pain relief etc on offer before? i really would go see them as if u go into labour still this scared and worried then it is not going to help you or baby. dont be afraid to go and say something about how u feel. your not alone hun honestly. let me know how you get on. take care xx

Im inclined to agree with you about the birthing scenes... they are horrific...

I think im just going to have to make sure hubby isnt in with me... Id rather go it alone.... I think thats what im going to have to decide on.... or the C section.. Im just not comfortable with him being there.
i think its bothering me that hubby will see me with legs wide open and in such a way...
may sound silly to some but im very private with regards to my genitals ....

im seriously feeling better and calmer so thanks to you all...
i really dont know whats happened with me today.. I think ive known for a long time i dont want hubby at the birth.. but ive been feelng pressured.... by everyone else too.... and him of course...

surely it wont hurt him to wait outside until its all over with?.. including placenter?
whats everyones feelings on this?

Will you want any else with you for support? it could be a long time & you might need someone else to talk too even & if you've had an epidural, you won't be able to move to do anything, (like get a drink of water, change the music etc). I'm very private about my privates too, but this is different than just a load of people gauping at your bits for no reason. its for medical reasons & to check progress & of course for the final push. A C section is much more risky & you have to stay in hospital longer. plus theres a scar & wound to contend with. risk of infection etc. not meaning to scare you even more than you are, but a c section i don't think is the easier option necessarily. i think you really ought to discuss with your MW & Dr. X

Hi,
You should let your husband read this chat and then he will understand how stressed you are. I did not want my hubbie with me either as I felt that I would be better on my own and I also was not too happy about him seeing stretched boobs and bits every where. He is the type of guy who always makes a comment about E.R or Holby and how grose it all is. To make things worse I am a nurse and he kind of assumed that I will sail throught it as I have asome medical knowledge.
THEN we watched SKY and I tell you neither of us want to be there now. Those programmes are awfull.
Anyway when I told him I would have our little girl on my own we spoke about it and he is going to sit with me untill I feel uncomfortable and then he will leave if I ask. To be honest we spoke about that when I was 12 weeks I amnow 30 weeks and I just assume he will be there and I am not worried.
Chill out and take each hour as it comes untill you go in to labour.

Hi all...
just to let you know ive spoken to hubby on his return from work today and we've agreed that im going to opt for an epidural and that he wont actually be there when i give birth...
i feel so much happier now...

Ive been feeling so pressured by friends saying 'oh you cant take that experience away from you husband'....

I'll obviously have him there through the majority of the labour but im def. having the epidural.. as im not going to go through the trauma if i dont need to..


feel so much calmer.. thanks for all your help and advise ladies....
I really did get myself into a state today.. and feel pretty ill from in now.. but im much happier knowing we're clear about what I want...

So im going for the epidural and just whilst giving birth.. i dont want hubby or anyone else there.... He can come in straight after.

I feel theres too much pressure from other opinions these days.. and its almost given me a panic attack today......

This way i wont have any pain... no discomfort.. no embarrassment... and we'll just be waiting for baby!...
much happier now... thanks to you all.. youve been so supportive today. Dont know what i would have done without you all..

:cry: