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22/01/2018 at 14:01
Hey everyone. I am 22 and i am 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my first baby. I have suffered with depression throughout my pregnancy. I generally thought i had a hold on it and i thought i could combat it on my own. But unfortunately the past few weeks it has just got worse. 2 days ago i felt at my lowest and made a terrible decision and self harmed, i am really ashamed to admit it. I feel like a terrible mum for resorting to it. I have realised that i need to talk to someone and i have got myself in with a councillor tomorrow afternoon. But my main concern that wont stop playing on my mind is that what do i do if i go into labour and the doctors see the tops of my arms? I am petrified of them taking my baby away from me. I honestly cant think straight with it. Anybody else been through the same?
22/01/2018 at 14:16
I've not been through this, but wanted to say ((((hugs))))).
You've absolutely done the right thing going to see a counsellor tomorrow (and good on you - be proud of yourself for doing that!), but please, please go and see your GP asap - depression is an awful thing, and what with all those pregnancy hormones flying around, it really can take its toll on your head. And honey, there is absolutely no shame in taking anti-drepressants during pregnancy (and no harm for your baby too with certain meds).
Please be honest with your doctor, and get back on the anti-depressants. By the time baby is here, the medicine should have kicked in and you will hopefully be on an even level again. You can make it through this. x
22/01/2018 at 14:36
Thank you so much. I will be going to see the doctor tomorrow also. I need to get a hold on this before he is here. Really do appreciate your reply. Do you think they will take my baby from me? Thats the main thing thats scaring me. Xx
22/01/2018 at 14:45
Well done you - I am so happy you are going to see your doctor. Look what you're doing - you are getting on with things and making a change, which is a step in the right direction - be proud you are doing this!
I'm afraid i'm not a social worker, and don't know how things work, but i think it would be a pretty extreme measure to take a new mums baby away from them for self harming - especially as you are going back to seek help, and putting changes in place. Please talk about this too with your doctor, hopefully they will put your mind at rest, and that's what you really need right now.
And it's not impossible for you to get a hold on this before you baby arrives - do you have any kind of support from a partner or mum? Try not to suffer alone - talk to people x
22/01/2018 at 15:17
Hi Hun - firstly well done you for recognising that you need some support!
I am a social worker and trust me all we want to do it help, I would mention this to your midwife as post birth you may need to some medication to stabilise your mood And the health visitor will monitor you post natal depression and get you some help sooner rather than later if you need it.
Please don't worry about having your baby taken away you are doing everything you can to get some support and that's the important things, do you have good family support? Yes social workers do sometimes have to remove children and there is no point me telling you otherwise but this is always a last resort after all help has been tried and it sounds to me like you are nowhere near that point.
Big hugs to you xx
22/01/2018 at 15:23
Thank you so much for the support! I do have great support from my family, my boyfriend and his family. My boyfriend knows about the self harm, but my family dont. I would tell my mum but i dont want her to worry. I am feeling slightly betting in the fact that i will have somebody proffesional to talk to. I dont want to fail as a mum, this baby has been a god send and the last thing i want to do it mess it up x
22/01/2018 at 15:28
Hi Z03Y95, welcome to the forum but we're sorry to hear what you're going through. If you need any extra support virtually, have a think about joining one of our birth clubs - you can meet women due the same time as you right here and get things off your chest.
And as the ladies above have said, sounds like you're doing things right. Talk to your midwife and GP, and please do come and let us know how you're doing.
22/01/2018 at 17:47
I am sure you won't 'mess up' and you may feel like a weight has been lifted if you do tell your mum, she may worry but mainly she will be able to help and support you 😊.
If someone mentions needing to refer to social services do not panic just tell them the truth and how much you want help so they can work with the health professionals to get you back on an even level and ready to be a new mummy! X
23/01/2018 at 11:10
hope you're doing a bit better today
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