Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
05/05/2013 at 10:27
Like the title says....
I applied for my dream job whilst TTC. Probably not the best idea I know but I have long, irregular cycles so we knew it might take us a while, and I had waited a long time for this opportunity to come up.
I had the first interview before I got my BFP.
Then the second interview was the day after my BFP.
I have now been offered the job, and I'll be 6 weeks on Tuesday, when I'm due to resign from my current job and accept the new one.
Obviously my H and I are delighted to be pregnant and it's the most important thing in the world to us. And I know that it's really early days and I need to be aware of that.
I also really want this job, but I know from the experience of others that when you resign from my current worklpace they cause you a lot of stress, just to be mean and 'get you back' for leaving, and I have a 3 moth notice period. The last thing I want is to get stressed for my first trimester, and part-way into the second, and affect this baby. In a way it would be better to stay, and just not take the dream job, for the sake of the baby.
But, if I do take the dream job, when do I tell them that I'm pregnant?? Because of my notice period I'll be about 4.5 months when I start, and it's only a small company, so I already feel guilty! Part of me wants to be upfront and tell them now so that if they want to back out I can just stay at my current place and no-one will be any the wiser. I know that they are not supposed to back out but I would understand if they wanted to, to be honest.
Sorry, this isn't really a question, more of a brain dump I suppose. I just had to get it all written down and out of my head.......
05/05/2013 at 10:31
I would go ahead as planned. Of course baby is priority but life has to carry on, pregnant or not. Take the dream job otherwise you'll always wonder 'what if'. I understand the guilt of going off on maternity leave not long after you start but it's not that soon really. Assuming you work until close to the end, these things work themselves out.
COngratulations of both the BFP and new job!!
05/05/2013 at 10:58
Thanks Autumn Rose. In a way, I know that that's what I have to do, I'm just scared of doing somehing that will ultimately not be good for the baby, one way or another. I don't exactly want to find myself jobless cos the new job fire me when I'm on probation, just to get rid of me. I just want to fast-forward time to see how it all turns out! I would plan on working as late as possible so as to show my committment, and also make it clear that I'd definitely be back after maternity leave. It's just scary step to take when I've got to consider this LO inside me now. I know you're right though - it will work itself out, I just have to be brave ..... :-)
05/05/2013 at 11:30
I would take the new job and not say anything, I would feel guilty but I'm this world if you don't look out for yourself no one else will. Ok stress may not be good for baby but its not going to do any damage I don't believe, it would just make the first tri harder for you. You legally don't need to tell your employer until 20+ weeks ish anyway. All I'd say is that whilst you do want to work as long as possible it's not always realistic as you have no idea what pregnancy will throw at you so take the job with an open mind.
05/05/2013 at 11:46
I just can't imagine turning up on day 1 and syaing 'oh and btw I'm pregnant'. The empolyer has already bent over backwards to hire me - he wanted someone immediately - instead he's hiring a temp and waiting 3 months for me - so that just makes me feel even more guilty!
And I know that I might not be able to work to the end, but in an ideal world, I would. I know that I'll have to wait and see though.
05/05/2013 at 13:39
I can see why you're a bit unsure, but ultimately, it's your dream job, and when is it ever going to come up again?
As far as your current employer being difficult towards you, at the end of the day, you're leaving. Don't let them stress you out. Do what you need to do and nothing more. They can't fire you as you've already put in your notice, and if they did, you could potentially start your new job sooner! You need to take care of yourself for the sake of baby, that is the main thing. You don't need to inform anyone of your pregnancy until you are 24 weeks as this is when your pregnancy becomes 'viable' I didn't need to let my HR department know until 15 weeks before I planned to stop for Mat Leave!
05/05/2013 at 13:55
I think if I turned this job down now I'd never get another chance at it, so I have to take it.
I suppose I could be difficult with my current employer after resigning and see if they do want to get rid of me early! They probably don't want a hormonal pregnant lady on their hands anyway. And I suppose that I could tell the new employer that I didnt know I was pregnant until 8 weeks or so, which will only be a few weeks before I tell them (if I confess after the 12 week scan).
Thanks for the advice everyone. It's been nice to get it out of my head and get other people's opinions on my jumbled up thoughts.
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