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21/06/2013 at 06:37
21/06/2013 at 06:49
My Lo is now 12 weeks and has never been a good sleeper, we've had maybe a handful of nights where his first stretch was 4 hours but usually its 3 max. This last week has been horrendous, he's been waking crying and screaming every 1-1.5 hours and just wont stay asleep. I'm struggling to.cope after a night of 9.45pm feed, 11.20 scream, 12.20 scream and feed, 3.20 (cosleep) scream and feed, 4.30 scream, 5.55 scream and 6.15 feed...and currently still thrashing around. I know we are prime territory for gs/development time but if I'm honest I can never see him sleeping through and I now just dread bedtimes as its just sheer hell for me. Is there anything I can try?! I'm losing the plot, I'm just exhausted. I can't sleep in the day as he will only sleep on me or in the sling and I wanted to kill the hv who told me I need to let him learn to self settled...yeah no sh*t Sherlock!
I'm close to putting him in another room and just letting him scream away which I know is wrong and I don't think I could actually do it :-( I hate hearing him cry.
What can I do, I'm just so down and I honestly don't know how to keep going :-(
21/06/2013 at 07:02
Ah bless you. How awful. Have you tried putting something that smells of you in the cot (if you arent co sleeping all night). Is he bringing up wind ok? Thinking he might have trapped wind and infacol might help? He might have a bit of silent reflux when he lays flat so raising the end of the cot might help? How about downloading some white noise onto an ipod and have it playing? Or a nightlight? Failing that could someone come over and hold him for a couple of hours while you get a bit of sleep?
There is nothing worse than dreading bedtime. I really feel for you. Everyone will tell you it gets better but i know thats no help now xx
21/06/2013 at 07:09
Firstly, have a big Sleep deprivation is horrible.
Have you run through a list of all the probable causes? This is how I like to work out problems.
- Could it be trapped wind? Could try gripe water/infacol/detinox
- could he be teething? The teeth move around in the gums a lot before they actually break through. Could try teething powders or Anbesol is very good.
There's also the recent weather - two nights ago was so hot and muggy here I couldn't sleep!
As you say, you are in prime growth spurt territory. If it's a growth spurt/developmental leap, then the good thing is they don't last long. If you have an iPhone (not sure if it's on others too), the Wonder Weeks app is very good for explaining developmental leaps and the changes in behaviour they bring.
In the long term, for helping him to learn to sleep and settle better, The No Cry Sleep Solution is really worth reading. It gives sleep advice without leaving them to cry and she's very pro co sleeping and slinging too.
Can you get someone to take baby out for a walk in the day for an hour or two so you could grab some sleep?
You're doing a great job, this parenting malarkey is hard work, and remember - this too shall pass
21/06/2013 at 07:15
Thanks MM, sorry I should say that I've got his cot tilted, he's on infacol, I put my top in each day for him to smell, we have a nightlight, we have Ewan the sheep...pretty much tried everything. He sometimes takes a dummy if I hold it in for a while. He is windy, I wonder if something I'm eating is causing it as he's ebf?
Sorry, I've had a name change recently as I was being checked on but I was on 2nd and 3rd tri a lot!
21/06/2013 at 07:21
Thanks marmite, not checked for teething...will do that. Will also try the book thanks, something has to work! He needs his sleep too :-( I've put less layers on him in the heat but once he starts crying he gets so warm. Some days I can get a break but not every day. He's screaming laying next to me now and I just feel like screaming back. I feel like such a cr*p mummy :-(
21/06/2013 at 08:01
I can totally sympathise. My son sounds very similar. I found the only way any of us could get any sleep was with him sleeping on me. I propped myself up with pillows and he slept on my chest. It's not idea but it meant we all got some sleep. I also found during the day that if I walked him in the pram until he slept, I could take the pram inside and dose on the sofa for a bit.
Just do what you have to do x
21/06/2013 at 09:19
Thanks LR, I've resorted to that some mornings even though I know its against sids guidelines but I've done it as safely as poss. I'd do the walk but its 50/50 as to whether he sleeps and if he does he wakes within minutes of stopping, same with the car! I have a faulty baby!
21/06/2013 at 09:29
So sorry you are going through this (hug). Sounds like you are doing lots already but you say he is express bf so can you take a night off just get some sleep? Do you have a spare room or can your mum have him for a night? Once you have a decent sleep you will feel so much better and if you are calm and rested he should pick up on that. . Xx hope it improves soon.
21/06/2013 at 09:32
Oh and you are absolutely not a crap mummy xxx
21/06/2013 at 09:43
Thanks willow, oops I mean exclusively bf...my bad! He won't take a bottle either, we keep trying! I just feel like I must be doing something wrong for him to be this bad :-( He will sleep for hours on someone...
21/06/2013 at 10:33
Oh ok that wont help then.
R u doing lots in the day? Whst about swimming or something i find if E has done an activity she sleeps better. Sorry text speak!!
21/06/2013 at 10:35
You are not doing anything wrong!! All bsbies ate different so try not to compare. You will get there eventually xx
21/06/2013 at 10:52
You are not doing anything wrong hun! Its just finding something that works. What about wrapping him in a sheet before he falls asleep on you then once he is asleep carefully laying him down so he is still wrapped up and warm and it would smell like you?
21/06/2013 at 11:26
Thanks ladies. I try and play with him in the day and get fresh air, he's always trying to sit/lift his head so I thought that might tire him out?! I feel awful for feeling like this too after everything we went through to get him. I love him more than anything but god this is harder than I ever imagined :-(
21/06/2013 at 11:40
Nothing can prepare you for how hard it is and sleep deprivation is a killer. G would only sleep on me in the day and i remember once my H came home to me crying on the sofa because all i wanted was a sandwich! I am not sure he got it but having a velcro baby is so hard. If you put him down to sleep in the day how long does he cry for? Is it just moaning or proper howling?
21/06/2013 at 12:00
Aww I know I'm not the only one, this place at least lets me know I'm not alone. It's proper howling or I'd leave him to it! He's fell asleep finally in his car seat with the extractor fan on high, the sheep on and a dummy in...not moving though! Bet he's awake in less than 30 mins though. I sometimes think we are making progress but then it all goes to sh*t again.3 months of no sleep definitely does not help! x
21/06/2013 at 12:04
Well that lasted 5 mins! Arghhhhhhh! The boy is knackered...why do they fight sleep so hard?!
21/06/2013 at 12:28
They do because they haven't learnt to switch off properly. I can only say - with the perspective of my daughter now being 6 years old - that it will get easy, it really will. But for now it seems dreadful. I found with my daughter that she would sleep in the pram and liked the movement. I think she also like the noise generally outside. So I used to put her in her pram and wheel her in the house with the radio on or in the garden where we had bumpy decking until she gave up and went to sleep.
Look for his sleep cues. Try to get him into his nap routine before he gets tired if you can. For my daughter it was pink eyebrows. Try to be rigid about it for a few days. This is how we are doing naps. You will be put in the pram and you will be rocked and you will go to sleep. Put a muslin over the top of the pram and just ignore any tears (this sounds harsh but I found with my daughter that if I did this then she would eventually give up the crying and go to sleep. Whenever she stirred I would rock the pram again.
Another thing I found was to put my head next to hers and shush loudly in her ears the second she stirred. This also helped her to get over the 'hump' of stirring which would wake her up again.
Finally - I can't see your original post anymore - but have you tried swaddling? This also can help because it stops their jerk reflex thingy which wakes them up again.
The trouble is, when you are sleep deprived you can't see the wood for the trees and nothing seems to work and you all become a bit desperate.
21/06/2013 at 12:30
Sorry, just to add - whatever is working for your sleep routine stick with that, not necessarily what I used to do.
I did also find a sling helped - have you tried one of those. Again, she loved the movement.
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