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01/04/2014 at 19:02
I used to come on here quite often but haven't been on for a while. I've had to change my username for various reasons, hope u don't mind.
Anyway, I'm finding things extremely hard at the moment, well, for over the past year really! However, recently I've been really struggling with my two, almost three year old. She is such hard work and really has the terrible twos! She is very complex. There are so many things which worry me but I won't go into them all now. I worry and feel anxious a lot! She is a sensitive soul however she can be sooo angry and aggressive! She speaks well and I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager half the time! I've tried to do everything as I should but find it hard to keep my patience. I am struggling to cope. I feel very down and stressed. I've aged so much, gained weight and two months ago started breaking out with acne. I feel like a rubbish mum and feel quite ill and run down recently. Feeling like this is making it hard for me to make mum friends and be around other mums. The other day I was talking to a mum I'd just met and my little one hated it! She shouted "no Mummy!" and hit me around the face. She can be very aggressive towards me. We will have a period when it stops and we think that awful phase is over and then it starts again . I told her not to hit and the mum seemed shocked. She didn't really speak to us after that. Sadly, I find I don't go out and do as many activities or visit places with her as I'd like to without H because she is so difficult. H obv knows and understands how she can be. We had a day out yesterday and her tantrums were a nightmare. She did have happy moments too though! :-) I'm so down and i hate the way things are. H is a great help in evenings and weekends but I have no support available elsewhere during the week. She didn't settle at preschool as hated being left and it really affected her so trying again in sept. We do groups but I dread it half the time. I hide this from my little one well though. I am at my wits end and feel sad that the past 16 months has put me off trying for no2. That makes me cry but I can't even think of that at the moment and feel so rubbish. It is straining things between h and I a little too.
I'm exhausted :-(
01/04/2014 at 19:28
01/04/2014 at 19:31
01/04/2014 at 19:34
01/04/2014 at 19:57
Blossom, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I'm sure you're not a rubbish mum and parts of your post really rang home with me. E isn't even 2 yet and has hit the terrible twos. I was a hospital appointment the other week and she had a full on meltdown because I wouldn't let her run around in the cafe. I felt like everyone was looking at us and judging me and I just wanted to hide. I'm guilty too of not going to groups as I'm worried what people might think - I feel like every other mum is calm and together and I'm just a mess winging it from one moment to the next. Ive found it hard making mummy friends too and to be honest since having my A I've given up as I've just not got the time! Keep talking on here as it does help and try and give yourself a break - the fact that you care so much tells me you're a good mom. Big hugs x
01/04/2014 at 22:34
C went through similar at that age. It also coincided with the birth of her sister. It only lasted a few months, but seemed much longer at the time. I used to firmly 'restrain' her and state 'i don't hit you, so i don't expect you to hit me. It's not kind.' We also introduced a reward chart. She's 4 now and still has her moments, but she now understands consequences, so it's got easier. This too will pass! Hugs. X
02/04/2014 at 09:38
I have no idea what to suggest, but I feel for you. My DD is 2.5 and has tantrums now and then, usually in public. It's really hard to keep your patience when all you want to do is shout back at the little madam! Luckily she seems to calm a little and says sorry when she hits (she understands that it's an unkind thing to do and that it's silly behaviour - I'm trying hard not to use the word naughty....)
Maybe speak to your HV to see if she can recommend any coping strategies for you, and methods of de-escalating her behaviour?
03/04/2014 at 10:01
Thank you so much for your replies. They've really helped.
Yesterday was a much better day thankfully. We went to a group and although she had the odd moment it went quite well and we both enjoyed it. She was so happy yesterday. I'm sure I'll be back on here to chat and appreciate help when things get difficult!
03/04/2014 at 20:49
Sorry I can't advise as I have all this to come I'm sure, but just wanted to send a hug and say definitely keep going out and meeting up with others, Mums or non Mums, don't shut yourself away, and don't be afraid to be honest with other Mums about it being tough. The vast majority of people are decent and will only have empathy and kindness for you, and have very probably been through at least a phase of what you describe. Glad you had a better day though :)
04/04/2014 at 04:04
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